Intangible Love
by Jacksonsmonkey
Summary: "You'll pay for this. Mark my words." My threat was not empty. I would make her pay, not him, but her.' - Dark Themes thoughout. Jasper/Bella, Rated M AU.
1. Chapter 1

**_AN/ _**_Okay, so, I've read a shit load of fanfic in my time and figured I would have a try. This fic will have dark themes running throughout it, as well as some hottness. This takes place just after the newborn army with Cullen's. _

_Thanks to my girls, you know who you are for lending your support and love while I wrote this. _

* * *

Purplish grey smoke filtered up into the early afternoon sky. Dotted all around the clearing were the rancid remains of a fight, the battle that had just taken place. It was over. The newborn army had been defeated, bar one tiny little newborn that was intent on kicking up a fuss.

I could hear Carlisle talking to her, trying to keep her calm and letting her know if she did as she was told then we wouldn't hurt her. He was speaking for himself and the rest of the _family;_ he was in no way, shape, or form speaking for me. If the opportunity should arise, she will join the rest of the army in the pool of purplish smoke. Though, I know either Carlisle or Esme will stay by her side, not allowing me the chance to finish her off.

They were worried I had become unstable. They had every right to be worried. While I won't attack either Carlisle or Esme to get to her, they aren't willing to take the chance that I won't go through the rest of them.

On my knees, I stared at the fire wishing she had told me. She should have told me, yet for reasons I will never know, she never did. I was powerless to move from the spot but I had to. The world's most deadliest predator, and I couldn't muster the strength to move from where she lay burning and turning to ash.

"Is Jasper all right?"

I snarled hearing _her_ words. How dare she even ask if I was all right! I was far from all right and I doubted I would ever be all right again.

I tuned out after hearing _her_ voice. This was all because of her. All of this, this mess and my pain and suffering was because _he _couldn't stay away from _her_. If he had managed to stay away from that girl, none of this would have happened. The battle would have never taken place. My love wouldn't be burning and I wouldn't have to try and control myself from any rash decisions I may make.

Placing my hands on my knees, my fingers twitched towards the fire. Did I want to burn? No, but she was in there. Her remains were there inside the fire, and I wanted them. I wanted what I couldn't have back, which was nothing more than ash now. Yet, the fire still burned, taunting and teasing me, not letting me have what I want.

My mind raced. A million thoughts and memories raced through it, all perfectly clear, yet I couldn't say what I was thinking or what I seeing in my minds eye. It was all a blur. Inside, I had become empty. The light, the love, the happiness I once had, even a few hours ago inside me had gone. All I could feel was numbness. Even the feelings, the emotions that my so called family were releasing, had little effect on me. Numbness was all I felt.

A light, gentle, bubbling giggle hit my ears and something inside of me snapped. In a blink of an eye, I was on my feet and charging full speed towards the offending noise. A gasp of shock and a scream of terror ripped through the quiet clearing and I had her pinned against the tree.

No sooner had my forearm been pressing against her windpipe, I suddenly was being pulled off her by Emmett and Carlisle while Edward crouched down, letting out warning growls. Teeth bared, I thrashed in their grasp, solely focused on one thing... _her. _

"Let me go!" My demands fell on empty ears. There would be no way they would release me, not now that I had shown what my intent had been.

My eyes were on her, not Edward, who was willing to protect her. He was nothing but a small paper wall that I would easily take down to get to my target. Her eyes, wide with fear and terror, stayed glued to me. Her weak body trembled, hiding behind Edward as she saw me in my truest form.

"Jasper...I'm sorry," fell from her trembling lips in the briefest of whispers.

"Sorry? You're sorry?" I spat, still thrashing in Emmett's steel grip. "This is all your fault. If he had stayed away from you, this wouldn't have happened!"

"Jasper, this isn't Bella's fault," Carlisle tried to reason with me, though his words had little effect. He and the rest may have bought into the innocent little girl's act, but I hadn't.

"How can you say that? If it wasn't for her, the newborns would have never arrived, the battle would have never taken place, and Alice wouldn't be ash!" I screamed out, keeping my eyes fixed on her.

"Emmett, take Jasper away from here. This place won't be helping him," Carlisle said while standing in the middle of us with his arms stretched out.

"You'll pay for this. Mark my words." My threat was not empty. I would make her pay, not him, but _her_.

Being pulled by Emmett out of the clearing, I heard Carlisle trying to reassure both Edward and Bella that my threat was empty and that I was grieving. I was grieving; what made me complete and content had been ripped away from me. Yet, that didn't make my threat empty, it only fuelled it more.

Slowly, I began to stop pulling in Emmett's grip. There really wasn't much point in continuing to fight against it. Edward would have moved Bella out of the clearing by now and, in any case, running in with all guns blazing wasn't going to get what I wanted. I needed to calm down and rethink, to plan my mission or my attack so that they wouldn't see it coming.

Breaking out of the woodlands, we emerged down by the river banks. Emmett finally let me go, knowing that I wouldn't turn and run back. Dropping down by the water on the bank, I stared blankly at the water. Emmett sat down beside me and began skipping pebbles across the water.

"Did she know?" Emmett asked as another pebble skimmed across the water.

"If she did, she never said."

"Man, I don't even know what to say. But, you can't seriously look at punishing Bella for Alice's death. It's not her fault." His words made me snort.

Pulling my knees up and wrapping my arms around them, I looked at Emmett. "This whole battle was because Edward couldn't stay away from the human. She has brought nothing but trouble to this family. After what happened...with James, Edward should have the decided to either leave her be or change her, yet he didn't."

"She has upset our lives and I could argue that she's made them more interesting," Emmett said on a sigh and threw another pebble, only this time it didn't skip across the water like the others had. "If it was me... if Rose had been the one who ended up in the fire, I would blame her too. Well, I would blame both of them, not just one."

"I do. I blame them both, but I blame her more," I seethed. Emmett looked at me and sighed deeply before turning his head slightly to the warming sun that was just starting to break through the clouds

"Edward will keep Bella away from the house for a while, you know, just until you've regained control again."

I snorted loudly at his choice of wording. Regaining control was out of the question. "I know you're pissed and all, but don't make me pull you off Bella again. I don't think I would be able to stop myself from kicking your ass."

"Then don't be in the way and I won't have to rip you apart in the process."

Emmett chuckled at me, thinking I was joking. He fucking wishes, but I let it slide. There was no point in telling him I was being serious because he would find out soon enough that I was far from joking.

"You wanna head back to the house, or just..?" Emmett trailed off. Today's events, or more so what had happened between me and Alice, had left Emmett restless and anxious to get back to Rose.

"Go, Em. I'll be okay here," I answered rather sullenly.

"Jay, come with me, please? I don't like the idea of leaving you here by yourself right now."

Turning my face to look at him, I saw the sincerity on his face that married with his words.

"I'm old enough to look after myself, Em. I don't need a babysitter."

Emmett smiled and threw his arm over my shoulder.

"You may be old enough, but you certainly need looking after right now. You've just lost your mate. I can't even begin to imagine what it must feel like, but at a random guess, being alone doesn't seem like the best idea in the world." Squeezing my shoulder tightly, he let go. "Guess were staying here for a while. Mind if I just call-"

I didn't give him chance to finish. "Just go Em."

"I'll be just there, okay?"

Answering with a shrug, I looked back at the water.

Time passed me by, yet how long had passed I was unsure of. Unmoving from my spot, I tried to think of my life without her, and how different it would be. The last fifty or so years had been filled everyday with her in it. How would I move forward when everything feels like such a loss right now? She was the one who understood me, who told me I could handle the bloodlust and be around humans without going on a killing spree. Now she wasn't here to provide her love, comfort, and support. How would I control myself?

It was no secret that I was the weak link in the family. Everyone could control themselves; they could be around humans and not lose it. Me? Every passing day was another new struggle. It never seemed to ease or get any better; it was always the same. My years in the wars, being the monster I truly was, was hard to let go and adapt to this lifestyle of not killing humans.

Right now, I wanted the monster within to be in control, to give in and hunt that little clumsy bitch down and drain her. If only Edward had caved that day and took her life, this wouldn't be happening... this wouldn't have happened.

Before dusk set in, Emmett dragged me back to the house. He had grown far to impatient for me to settle enough to willingly agree or even suggest we went back. In all honesty, I didn't care. The first shot of rage that had hit had now left me, leaving in it's wake the emptiness of losing my mate. Vampires mated for eternity. Losing your mate would result in an eternity of morning their loss, almost as though your life force had been removed. I guess, in a way, that was true.

Grief, sadness, and uncertainty, to name but a few, hit me like a ton of bricks the moment we reached the front door. Silence followed as Emmett opened the front door and let us in. I wanted to scream at them for their sudden silence now that I had returned home. There was no need to pussyfoot around me and be choosing in their words, or lack of. I wasn't going to blow just yet; I still had a lot of planning to do.

Coming into the living room, I saw the collection of ash sitting in a large glass bowl on the coffee table. With my eyes locking on it, I waited for the confession to come before I said anything about it. Whoever had touched her ashes had no right. they where mine. Anger flared through me as I felt the guilt begin to seep out from Esme.

"How fucking dare you?" I spat in a low, menacing tone. I was aware of the shift of bodies in the room, yet my eyes hadn't left the bowl of ash. Carlisle had taken his position in front of Esme, protecting her in case I charged at her. Emmett was suddenly very close to me, with Rose on the other side of me.

"Jasper..I-"

"How fucking dare you touch her ashes? You had no fucking right to do that, Esme." A sob left Esme as her remorse picked up. "What fucking else have you done?"

"Jasper, Esme just tried to ease your suffering. No disrespect was meant." My eyes flickered to Carlisle for a spilt second before looking back at the ashes.

"She was not yours, Esme, she was mine. Do not go touching anything of hers, or meddling. You do, and I will dismember you piece by piece and burn you to ashes, understand?"

Esme gasped at my threat, shock radiating from her as my words sunk in.

Moving out of the living room and up the stairs in a flash, I found myself in the middle of mine and Alice's room without even realising it. Everything seemed to stop for a second. I almost expect to hear some faint sound of music drifting slowly to my ears, getting louder and louder, but there is nothing. Instead, I stand in the middle of our room, her clothes still covering the floor from this morning when she suddenly decided it was time for a clear out.

I feel nothing for this second. I smell nothing nor do I hear anything, and then it hits.

Her smell, the scent of her, hits me with a force I wasn't expecting. It's almost crippling, making me drop to my knees and cry out in anguish. Fists clench as my sorrow and pain take over. Being in this room, in our room, is too much for me to handle, yet I can't move. I can't pull myself to my feet and leave this room. My dead, un-beating heart breaks, shattering into a million tiny little pieces as everything inside these four walls close in on me.

The smell of sex still lingers in the air from this morning, bombarding me with all I have lost and something I will never have again. Growls and cries of pain leave me as I mourn her, wishing that I should have been there. I should have noticed, yet I didn't. In the blink of an eye, she was gone and out of my eye sight. _Why didn't she listen to me? _I told her to stay near me and to not, under any circumstances, was she to leave my side. If she had stayed, she wouldn't be in a glass bowl right now. Instead, she would be here, telling me about some latest fashion she must have, boring me to tears with it. _What I wouldn't give to hear that now._

"Oh, Jazz," is all I hear before I am being pulled out of my room. I don't want to leave it, yet in the same breath I can't wait to get out of there. I put up no fight in being pulled out of the room by whomever. My will just isn't there anymore.

Before I can fathom where I am going or who with, I find myself on Emmett and Rose's bed. Rose is next to me, holding me close to her and lightly stroking my back, trying to soothe me. It's a pointless act; the notion won't soothe me or take my pain away, but I don't tell her to stop. In some strange way it's oddly comforting, yet not for the action itself. It's her emotions. She isn't pitying me, nor is she sad for me. Her hatred towards Bella has increased tenfold and she blames her almost as much as I do. And while she is sad and grieving over her sister, she wants revenge. Her emotion of revenge is soothing to me; it's comforting while I plot. Unbeknownst to Rose, her emotion of revenge is only fueling the fire in me and awakening parts of me I had long forgotten and buried.

Night begins to turn to day and I haven't moved from the spot Rose placed me in. Emmett has been in a few times, talking to me or to Rose, though I didn't answer anything he asked me. The prospect of talking seemed something far too great for me handle. The fear was there, that if I opened my mouth to talk, I would just scream or growl and either one was something I wished not to do while I grieved over her.

"Rose?" Esme's voice broke through the silence in the room. "Can I have a minute with Jasper?"

Rose moves, taking her hand off my back as I continue to lay face down on the bed.

The bed dips and evens out as she gets off. I hear her gentle footsteps across the flooring followed by the door closing and clicking. A fresh wave of guilt hits me as I smell Esme's scent. It's not guilt from her, though it is there. It's my own guilt for speaking so out of turn to her. Her footsteps move around the bed to the side I am now currently facing. The bed dips again as she sits and looks at me. Her butterscotch eyes hold love and compassion, yet I am unable to keep eye contact with her.

"I'm sorry," I whispered out as Esme laid down besides me and pulls me to her. Curling into her side, I wrap my arms around her motherly form, taking what little comfort I could find from her.

* * *

**_AN/ _**_Okay, so how was my first try? Did you like it? Hate it? Wondering what the hell I maybe smoking?_

_Reviews would be great, whether you liked it or not.  
_


	2. Chapter 2

**AN/ Thank you to the few who reviewed and placed this story on alert, it means a lot to know someone is reading it :)**

**This is an M rated fic, with dark themes running throughout it. If its not your thing then please hit the red X and find something else. **

**Thanks to my Beta chick for waving her magic wand.  
**

* * *

The days that passed following Alice's death became a blur. Esme wanted to hold some sort of funeral for her, to showcase the life she had been pretending to lead. In reality, I found this strange. Holding a funeral for a vampire seems one of thee most strangest things in the world to do. And while I understood in doing so for the sake of appearances, I also saw no point to it. Standing around a grave would not bring her back. Her ashes would not reform into a human form once again. She would remain ash forever more.

Even though I didn't want this funeral, I agreed to let Esme conduct it. For one thing, it would help her grieve for the woman she had looked upon as her daughter. All funeral arrangements had all been made, and all that was left for me to do was to attend. Esme had tried to involve me in the planning, telling me it would help, yet I didn't bother. The only thing I did was pick out her urn.

Staring out of the window, I watched the gathering of seats begin to fill out. Surprisingly, half of the school had turned up, no doubt here to see if they could get more information on the story that had been passed around to cover Alice's real death. None of them were welcome in my book; none of them needed to be here to witness her funeral, yet all of them still came.

The thought of free food must really be appealing to the human race, that they would show up to a funeral of someone they hardly knew. I wonder how they would feel if they became my food?

"Jasper?" Rose's voice cut through my thoughts. Turning to look at my almost twin sister, I noticed the nice, neat black dress she had on.

Just before nine thirty this morning a UPS man had turned up, carrying a collection of packages, one addressed to us all, even Bella. Alice had known her death was coming and had picked out outfits for us all to wear. The thought of it had made me smile when I opened the package. It was typical Alice, planning ahead and making sure everyone looked right for, what she had nicknamed, Alice's day.

Inside each package had been a hand written letter to us all. Alice had spoken to each family member, telling them how much each and every single one of us meant to her. Her letters were in depth, and most were personal to each member. I can only assume that she had told them what she knew about their future.

Mine? Mine wasn't what I expected. All she had said was, "I am sorry. Do what you need to do to feel better, my love. Be sure you will love again. Yours Eternally, Alice." What more could she say than that?

"It suits you," I commented as I walked towards her.

"Thank you dear brother, but you should have hunted. Your eyes are black," Rosalie said as she placed a pair of black sunglasses on my face. "Alice sent these with my outfit and I assume they're for you," she smiled at me.

"Thanks. Is _she_ here?" Rosalie nodded her head at me with a sigh.

"Jazz, I know you blame her. Hell, I do too, but Alice was her best friend," she said as she tweaked my hair slightly around my face. "Alice loved her, just like how she loved you."

"She has no right being here, Rose." This would be the first time I had seen Bella since the battle. It would also be only the second time I had seen Edward.

Edward had only returned home when I was out, and our two meetings since had both been passings at the door. Both times, he said he was sorry for Alice's death, and was giving me time to mourn. He and I had been close at one point, and it hurt slightly to feel as though I had lost a brother in the process of losing my wife. I still held some element of blame to him for her death, for him being too weak to stay from the human trouble maker. Carlisle had tried to explain the whole pull thing between mates and it was almost impossible for Edward to stay away. Well, aint that a bitch and half? He is going to have to learn how to, once I extract my revenge.

"You still should have hunted. Promise me, after the funeral is over, you will hunt with me?" I shook my head in response. Hunting with Rose, as much as I loved her, was not what I wanted to do. In some ways, it would feel almost like a betrayal to Alice to hunt alone with Rose. "Fine, hunt with Emmett then."

"I'm fine." Which, of course, was a lie. I hadn't really hunted since the battle. The odd animal here and there that crossed my path on the rare occasions I had left the house in search of some quiet time and to be away from the other's emotions was about it.

Taking Rosalie's hand, we walked out of the spare bedroom that had become mine, and down the stairs. My own emotions were wrapped tightly around me, locking me down and hopefully,if I'm lucky, not inflicting me to other's emotions. This would be the first time I had actually spent any large amount of time with more than one person at once. It was impossible to know just how badly everyone's emotions would affect me. Right now, I truly hated my gift.

The sky was overcast as we sat and watched the service given. I watched the the sermon speaker, but I didn't hear a thing. I saw the tears that people were shedding and felt the emotions of my family, yet nothing really registered with me. What did register with me was everything _she _did. Every tear, every sob, every time Edward comforted her, this all registered with me. Part of me wanted to demand that she was removed, that her being here was a piss take on Alice's life, but I knew that would've only upset Alice if she was still here.

Rosalie was right; Alice loved Bella. They were best friends, and Alice would have done anything for her. How ironic that the one little human she would do anything for turns out to be the one that kills her. I could feel her guilt, her grief, and even her remorse. She blamed herself for Alice's death and this little fact made me happy.

With Edward around me, I was making sure to keep my thoughts blocked or guarded around him. He didn't need to know what I was planning for his precious love. If he became aware of what I was planning, he wouldn't leave Bella's side and that would not abode well to my plans.

Even though I tried to keep my eyes on the empty coffin that lay on the mounds waiting to be lowered into the ground, my eyes continued to look back over to that bitch. My hatred for her was growing. With every shoulder shake from her sobs, to her head leaning into Edward and him wrapping his arm around her, my hatred grew more and more. She could curl up to her 'mate', and I use the term loosely, she could feel him whenever she wanted. I, on the other hand, could not. Everything worked out perfectly for her. She got her vampire boyfriend, she got the newborn army destroyed, and in turn, she had killed her best friend and ripped the family apart. I guess she really didn't care who got hurt in the process, just as long she got what she wanted in the end.

How will she feel when she realises just how dangerous it is to play with vampires?

The coffin was lowered into the ground while I stood and watched. Bella continued to sob uncontrollably into Edward's arms. Her pain was almost overbearing, yet I did nothing to soothe it. Edward caught my eye in a silent plead to manipulate her emotions and make her feel nothing. _Go to fucking hell, _I thought. As if I would bother wasting my time to make her feel any better when she was the sole and only fucking reason why Alice wasn't here anymore. There had been a time when I would have pushed the odd emotion into Bella, not too much, just a little push to move her in the right direction, but not now. I saw no point to play a part in easing her pain, not when I intended to intensify it even more.

A sharp, short push of the pain, the emptiness and sorrow I was feeling, and Bella was on her knees breaking out in howling, painful cries. It was petty, I knew that, but it did make me feel just a tiny bit better for a fraction of a second. Carefully, Edward helped Bella back to her feet and cradled her in his arms while looking at me.

"That was uncalled for," he whispered, to low for human ears to hear.

I shrugged slightly and titled my head to the cloud banks. _'Maybe so, but I think its only fair that she gets just a taste of what I am going through.'_

The exchange hadn't gone un-noticed by the rest of the family. Rosalie moved closer to me and linked her arm through mine. "What did you do?" she asked, with the slightest hint of amusement in her voice. Not enough for anyone else to detect, but her emotions were busy screaming hers at me.

"Nothing," I replied, receiving a glare from Rose. Simply shrugging my shoulders at her, I pulled my arm away from her and turned to leave the grave site. There was no point in mourning her here; she wasn't in that coffin, bricks lay in there to give it some weight. Alice, or what was left of her, was sitting in her urn, waiting to be moved to a place I was comfortable with. So far, it hadn't been moved from the corner of the living room.

I hated that Alice's remains were stuck in a corner, but I didn't know where to put them. The room we had shared, our room, was completely off limits to me. I couldn't handle going in there. Rose had become my saving grace and got everything I wanted or needed out of there for me.

Finding myself back in the house, I watched the humans feast on the free food. It really did remind me of feeding time at the zoo! Words passed by my ears, people who I didn't really know, or really knew Alice and therefore I couldn't give a flying fuck about, offered their condolences. It was humorous, really; they come and eat free food and as way of paying and making everything all right in the world, they offer their condolences. Screw condolences, I wanted fucking blood.

Deciding that enough was enough, I made my way up the stairs with the intent of heading to the spare room to change and get out of here for a while. Crossing the corridor at a slow human pace, I heard the faint sound of sobbing. The monster within me rejoiced at the prospect of that sobbing sound belonging to one Bella Swan. Moving quietly down the corridor, I followed the sound of her sobbing until I reached the slightly open door that was once my room with Alice.

"Alice...I'm so sorry," I heard her sob as I stood at the doorway.

Using the tips of my fingers, I pushed the door further open to find Bella in the center of the room on her hands and knees, crying and pleading. The sight before me shocked me. Even for a vampire who had seen and witnessed many things, I stood there shocked to the core.

"Just. What. The. Fuck. Do. You. Think. You. Are. Doing. In. Here?" I spat slowly and calmly. Bella's head whipped up and looked at me. Shock covered her face at the realisation she had been caught in a room she wasn't meant to be in. A room no one was meant to go in.

Hadn't Edward told her to stay out of this room? Everyone in the family knew not to go in here. Even Rosalie, who had been in a handful of times, had only gone in when I had asked her to. And to see this bitch, the one that fucking caused all this mess, crying in our room, sealed her death warrant with me. Had she not done enough damage that she wasn't content until she broke house fucking rules just to appease her?

"Jasper? I...Um..I.." she babbled like the weak, pathetic, human girl she was. Just what the hell did Edward see in her?

"Quit your fucking babbling and answer my damn question!" I demanded at her. She shook slightly in fear and cried harder. "Why are you in her room?"

"I..I.." Her fear had increased, fuelling me even more. "I'm sorry, Jasper."

"You said before, now get out of the room, Bella." She rose to her feet and looked at me. Red and black rimmed eyes stared back at me as her grief continued to seep out of her.

"Jasper, please understand how sorry I am," she pleaded in a sob at me.

"What are you sorry for, Bella? Sorry you got involved with a vampire? Sorry you brought a newborn army to attack my family? Sorry that you caused me pain? Or are you sorry that your so called best friend lost her life because of you?"

"I never wanted anyone to get hurt, least of all, not Alice." Hearing my love's name leave her lips caused an immense amount of anger to flood through my cold, dead body.

The thought to kill her off right now quickly flashed through my mind before I removed it. While I would love to end it now, it would also gain far to much attention and I wanted her death to be slow and painful. I wanted her to die slowly, to feel my pain, before I took her life. Here, in a house full of humans and the rest of the family would not be the smartest move to make. Edward would be on me like a rash, and I needed him to be away from her when this happened.

Taking a breath I didn't need, I pushed down my anger and regained my control. "You should get out of this room, Bella. I'm sure Edward will begin to wonder where you are."

Bella went to say something, but stopped herself short. Quickly moving forward and out of the room, Bella brushed past me. My finger twitched slightly, but I let her go. No doubt this little incident will be told to Edward and will cause him to panic over my state of mind a little more. It wasn't hard to figure out that Edward was slightly concerned over what I may do; he was well aware of my background and knew all too well that it was in my nature to plan my attacks down to the last detail. I left nothing to chance, and this would be no different.

Without even looking inside the room, I grabbed the door handle, closed the door swiftly, and headed to my new room. Not giving my mind time to think, I quickly changed, shedding myself of the suit that Alice had brought me. Pulling up a pair of loose fitting, stone wash jeans and a pain white tee, I pulled my blonde locks back into a ponytail and grabbed a jacket. Leaving the room almost as quickly as I entered it, I walked through the house that was still crawling with humans. Catching Esme's eye and the look of concern that covered her face, I mouthed to her that I was heading out. She frowned at me slightly, wishing that I wouldn't, but made no attempt to protest.

Pulling up the garage door, I found Carlisle leaning against the hood of his black Mercedes and holding a set of keys in his hand. Looking at him, Carlisle smiled knowingly at me as I cautiously stepped inside the garage. Walking slowly towards him, I tried to figure out why he was standing there, and more so, what he was doing.

"Jasper, son," he started, and then sighed. "Today has been a hard day for us all, but for you it's been the hardest." I snorted at his words. I was no mere human who saw funerals as their hardest day, and saying goodbye to their loved ones. My hardest day had already come to pass.

"Carlisle, today was for appearances and nothing more. Surely you understand that?"

"Maybe so, though we are not so different from the human race. We were once humans ourselves, and maybe there are still some human traits in us." Rolling my eyes at him, I was in no mood for this father-son chit chat. I wanted to think, and to do that, I needed to be away from the house and Edward.

"Alice left me some pretty clear instructions in her letter to me," he spoke softly in a whisper, as if this was causing him more pain then he was sharing.

"What instructions?" His statement had left me a little dumbfounded. Why would Alice be leaving Carlisle instructions?

"Her letter was very clear, as was the one to Esme. For some time now, Esme has been holding a bag for you from Alice." Carlisle paused for a minute to compose himself a little better before continuing. "Some time back, she brought a large bag to Esme and asked her to hold it for her, saying in time it will become clear. In her letter to Esme, she told her to give the bag to me."

"How long ago?" I asked, almost scared to hear the answer.

"Some four or five months ago," he explained. Pain crashed through me at hearing his words. My eyes clamped shut, wishing I had noticed some change in her. How had she kept this to herself and not even told me the possibility of her death coming so soon? "Son, Esme and myself thought nothing of it," he sighed and raked a hand though his hair.

"If she knew so long ago, then why didn't she mention the army before?" It didn't make sense to me. Alice wouldn't keep something so important back like that; it wasn't in her nature to hide something that could harm the family.

"Jasper, I don't know. You know that Alice's visions were sometimes unclear." He looked at me, sorrow marring his face. "In my letter, she asked me if I would lend you my car, saying you wouldn't want to drive hers and could I place the bag in the boot of the car and have it ready for you."

"She knew I was going to leave," I whispered, more to myself than to Carlisle. The thought of leaving had crossed my mind. It's not as though I could stay around after I extracted my revenge on Bella and I had toyed with the idea of just leaving and not doing anything; that idea had gone as quickly as it came.

"I believe so," Carlisle answered, even though the question wasn't directed at him. "Please be safe, Jasper. And remember, this is your home too."

"I haven't fully made a decision to leave the family; she was guessing," I replied, staring off into space while my mind tried to process everything that had just taken place.

Moving to me, Carlisle placed the keys in my hand and put his hand on my shoulder in a simple gesture. "Maybe she knew you better than you thought." With that, Carlisle left the garage.

Looking down at the keys in my hand, I smiled. Alice. I was glad she had taken the liberty to sort this out for me as this would save me time. There would be no need to stop and buy things, or sort out a car that could take me days. Everything was already taken care of. Even though I missed her, I couldn't help but be thankful that even in death she was still looking out for me.

Climbing into the car, I turned on the engine before gunning it out of the garage and down the long, winding driveway. Once I was within a clear and safe distance from the house, I began to let my mind openly think about my possible options. I needed to wait it out and hope that soon enough, he would go on a hunting trip. It had been a while since he had gone on one; before the battle with the newborns was his last one. The animals that surrounded the house were okay, but after a while we all grew bored and wanted something a little different. The news that I had took off would soon reach Edward and it wouldn't be long until he realised that Bella was safe and he would go with the family. This would give me the perfect chance to take her. With Edward and the rest of the family away, she would be alone with no one there to stop me.

It would give me a few hours to create distance between him and us. Where I was going to head once I had her, I hadn't yet thought of. It was a detail that I really didn't need to think about right at this very second. I knew a lot of people, in a lot of places. There were many places I could go where Edward wouldn't find me. Killing his love would provoke him into an attack and he would want to see me suffer at his hand just I had at his. The fact that I already had would be pushed aside, though first, he would have to find me.

OOOOO

It didn't take long for Edward to join the family on a weekend hunting trip out of the city. He was leaving on the Friday dinner and wouldn't be back until Sunday afternoon. This gave me a good few hours to work.

The family thought I had left the town, when in fact, I had been hiding much closer to home than they realised. Eavesdropping on conversations was easy. I didn't have to go anywhere near the house to know what was being planned. Edward had told her as he picked her up from work. Her disappointment and frustration radiated from her as she took the news that he wouldn't be around. Bella had been hoping that this weekend she would be able to break down Edward's no sex rule. I didn't need to be a mind reader to know what she had been planning; her lust and desire had been intensifying the closer it got to him picking her up.

In a wonderful twist of fate, it also turns out that Charlie won't be around either. He would be working double shifts that weekend, leaving Bella completely alone. The wicked grin that crossed my lips at hearing how everything would play in my favour was extreme. I had hoped that I wouldn't have too many problems to overcome, but this was far better than I had hoped for. The one, tiny little concern, was the Wolf pack, namely Jacob. It was no secret that he desired her, and didn't want her to be with my brother, but was somehow managing to respect her wishes and stay her friend, which was something that angered Edward something chronic.

Friday afternoon, at around two PM, Edward left town with the family for a hunting trip. With the few hours that remained until Bella was asleep, I took a trip to the hospital. Humans can be very easy to manipulate at times, and it didn't take me long to feed one nurse a load of shit about me being the new doctor and her handing me a wonderful cocktail that will make Bella sleep for hours. With the needle capped and in my pocket, I stood in the trees near Bella's house and listened to her talk to her Father. Listening to her talk to him, I could feel the love she held and I almost felt guilty that I would be destroying that very soon.

The slight, almost supple whispers of guilt that lingered around the very edges of my being were not enough to put me off my goal. Yes, I knew Alice would kill me for doing this, for treating her best friend this way. Alice loved Bella, and treated her like a sister. This would have hurt Alice if she was still here. Though, if she was still here, I wouldn't be plotting my revenge. My thoughts quickly turned to my family, the coven I had spent the last few decades with. Esme would be hurt; she was already hurting having lost Alice and with my departure happening so soon after, I knew it tore her dead heart apart. Hearing the news that Bella had gone missing would crush her. Carlisle, who in the past has been so compassionate towards me and my diet, has given me countless chances after I've fucked up and given in to who I am. His disappointment would hurt me the most. Though, I felt somewhat betrayed that the human took such a high ranking in the house, that even though she was the main reason for Alice's death, she was still welcome in the house hold. His disappointment in me would hurt me.

Soon enough, I heard Bella's heart rate slow down as she fell to sleep. Scaling up the side of the house, I pushed the window open and crept in. Her scent hit me full force, making my mouth pool with venom as she slept. _I could just end it now, sink my teeth into her pretty little neck and drain her, _I thought to myself, but quickly pushed it aside. I wanted, no, I _needed_ her to suffer, to feel just a fraction of the pain she had put me through all because she wanted to be with my brother.

As I moved closer to the bed, Bella rolled onto her back, exposing the thick pounding vein of her jugular. Again, the thought to drain her came along as I watched the vein pump blood around her body. It would be so easy to end it now and put a stop to it, but I wanted my revenge that bit sweeter. Killing her and making her suffer may not bring Alice back, but it would make me feel a whole lot better.

Flicking the protective cap off the needle in my pocket, I placed one of my ice cold hands over her mouth. Her eyes shot open, wide with terror as she looked at me. I could feel her fear and confusion roll off her in thick waves. She wondered what I was doing here, why I was in her room and most importantly, what I had planned. Through her confusion and fear, there was the slight flicker of curiosity running through her.

Grinning at her, I said, "Nighty night, Bella," and I pushed the cocktail of drugs into her arm.

* * *

**Okay, so, Jasper is a little dark, hehe. Hope you all liked it...let me know either way :) Thanks  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN/ WOW! I want to thank everyone that has reviewed, faved and alerted my first fic. I am stunned. I would really love to reply to reviews but real life just makes if impossible to do so, I hope you all understand and still stick with me :)**

**This fic will have dark tones throughout it, if you don't like dark then please hit the red X and find something else to read. **

**Thanks to my girlies, you all know who you are, for lending your support and love as I wrote this chapter and the last 2.  
**

* * *

Carlisle's black Mercedes cruised at high speed down the highway, reminding me to thank Rosalie when I got the chance for the extra tweaks. The sun had been up for awhile as I tried to put enough distance between Bella and the town. Edward wouldn't be aware of Bella's disappearance until Sunday. Charlie, however, would be registering his daughter's disappearance pretty soon, if not already.

Chief Swan would be wondering where his daughter had gone. There was no sign of anyone entering the property, and there was no sign of any struggle. I had made sure that it looked as though Bella had just disappeared. To keep my disappearance act up, I had removed Bella's beaten down truck and dumped it off the side of the cliffs. A bag had been packed and thrown in the truck, making it seem that she had left town.

If they never found her truck, they would assume that she had left and didn't want to be found. If they did? Well, they would assume that she had lost control and plunged to her water death. The only people that wouldn't believe her sudden disappearance would be Edward and the wolf pack. My scent would linger in her room, and it wouldn't take Edward that long to figure out that it was me who took her.

The hardest thing he would have to figure out is where I have gone with her. I left many trails, leading off in different directions, to bide me more time. He would soon find the right one, and no doubt he would be on the phone the moment he realised she was missing.

I would be the prime suspect. Could he figure out which trail was right and then find her before I killed her? I doubted it. Edward was no tracker, yet he would find the right trail at some point. His desire, his determination, to have his love back with him would push him on, just as my determination to seek out my revenge had pushed me on. The only thing that went against Edward was that I had the advantage. He would be well aware just how much distance I could create in two days, not to mention that I had planned this out. Edward may be a good fighter, but he was no war machine. Everything he knew came from reading people's minds; his training consisted of very little in reality.

Looking over at Bella, I waited for her to wake. Her heart rate had picked up slightly and her breathing had changed, signalling her slumber coming to an end. As if almost on cue, Bella began to stir. Slamming the breaks on, I pulled over and stopped the car. I could easily afford a few minutes to enjoy the sheer terror she would feel when she woke up.

Stroking her cheek with my ice cold fingers, I moved closer to her face. She sighed deeply as my cool breath washed over her face.

"Hmm, Edward," she sighed in a voice full of sleep. Unable to resist, I chuckled low and menacing as the smile danced on her lips. Hearing my chuckle, her eyes shot open and stared directly into mine.

"Boo!" I said in a loud, sharp voice.

She immediately pushed herself back, only managing to successfully crack her head on the window. Her heart rate picked up as fear, worry, and sheer terror ripped throughout her. She was trying to tell herself she was dreaming. Her emotions were screaming at me as she screwed her eyes up and began to wish that this was a bad dream.

"Open your eyes, Bella," I mused. "No amount of wishing is going to take you back to your bed." She slowly opened her petrified brown eyes, and they began to fill with tears.

"Jasper?" she said, almost not fully believing it was me. I grinned at her, showing her my razor sharp teeth. "Wh..where am I?" She tried to hold her voice strong, but it was failing.

"The middle of nowhere for now," I answered as she looked around her, noticing nothing but miles of open road.

"Why?" The slight bit of courage she had was slowly starting to creep in. I didn't do anything to change her feelings; she could feel this momentary courage, but it certainly wouldn't last long.

"Isn't that obvious?" I asked. Bella shook her head, her emotions a scrambled mess of utter confusion. She just couldn't fathom why I would have her. "Alice?"

Realisation washed over her, making me grin wickedly at Edward's soon to be former love.

"Jasper...please, I know you're-"

My fist slammed against the dash board, creating a dent and making Bella gasp in shock.

"You know fucking nothing! You may think you do, but you don't," I spat at her. Her confusion continued to seep out of her, along with her fear. An element of wonder raced through her as she looked at me.

"Alice, would never -"

A loud growl ripped through my chest. In that spilt second, Bella seemed to realise just how much danger she was actually in.

"Do not speak her name!" I demanded. Rage crashed through me. The intensity of my anger was taking over and if I wasn't careful, I was going to lose control. Closing my eyes for a spilt second, I took an unnecessary deep breath to try and control myself.

Warm fingertips suddenly touched my arm. My eyes snapped open and I saw her hand on my arm. Casting my eyes up to her and then back down to my arm, I felt her fear for her life and also her determination. Placing my hand over hers, I gently squeezed her hand and smiled. Bella smiled back at me, sweet and warm, and took my action for gratitude. Squeezing her hand a little tighter, she gasped and tried to pull her hand away but I held on.

"You do understand that I could crush every bone in your fucking hand right now?" I smirked out. Crippled with fear, Bella nodded her head almost frantically at me. "Never place your fucking hand on me again, understand?" Again she nodded, but it wasn't enough for me. I wanted her to answer me. "Open your fucking mouth and answer the question."

"Yes," she breathed, fear making it almost impossible to speak. Letting go of her hand, she pulled it to her chest and cradled it. Looking at me, I saw her eyes fill with tears before slowly running down her cheeks. "Why are you doing this? You're not the same Jasper I used to know."

And the strength was back again. I had once heard Edward refer to her as a kitten trying to act strong. At the time, I had thought nothing of it. But now, seeing her trying to summon up all her courage, it was almost too funny.

"Correction. You never got to know me," I spat. "And why?" I laughed out as I projected my hurt, pain, and suffering on to her, pushing what I was feeling and holding nothing back into her fragile little body.

Bella screamed in pain and pulled herself into a ball. Her sobbing grew, coming out in hard rasps. "That is fucking why!" Her eyes screwed up, trying to block the pain out. I could feel her trying to tell herself it wasn't really there, but that was fucking bullshit. "Its fucking real, Bella. This isn't some mind trip. That's my pain you're feeling. Liking it?"

"Stop...please...stop," she pleaded with me.

Pulling my emotions back, Bella's sobs began to slow down until there was nothing more than an odd sniffle. Turning away from her, I started the engine and shot off again down the highway. The engine purred beautifully at me as the rev count went up. The car soon hit it's top speed. I could feel Bella become more and more anxious as she clocked the speed we were going. Out the corner of my eye, I saw her tug the seat belt, making sure it was secure.

"You'll kill us if you crash."

I chuckled at her statement and relaxed further back into the seat. "No, I'll kill you. I'll walk out of the wreckage perfectly fine. You, on the other hand, will be left to die a slow and painful death. That is, if you don't die on impact."

"That's how you're planning to kill me? By crashing the car?" Looking at her, I saw the blush creep up her face as she realised the dumbness in her questions. "That would be too easy, wouldn't it?"

"Bingo. What I have planned is far worse than some car crash. Though, its not a bad idea," I grinned at her.

"Jasper, please. I know you're upset and hurting. God, I wish Alice hadn't died, but she did," Bella pleaded out at me.

"She died because of you. She died protecting some weak fucking human who doesn't give a fucking rat's ass as long as she gets what she wants." That was a little low, I admit, but my statement was nearly true. I knew Bella cared for the family, well, everyone bar me and Rose. But that didn't mean she was only happy as long as she got what she wanted.

"That's not true or fair!" She screamed at me.

"Really? Why were the newborns here? Because of you. Why were they here because of you? Because of you, Victoria lost her mate and wanted revenge. Why did she lose her mate? Because you smelled too good to James. And why was James even interested in you? Because you couldn't stay away from Edward!" I growled back twice as loud. "It all comes back to you! The family was nearly fucking exposed because your dumb ass almost got fucking killed in the parking lot. You are the main and only fucking reason why the last fucking year has been fucked up!"

"Edward is as much to blame as I am," she defended.

"So you're admitting you're at fault?" I asked, glancing back at the road.

"Yes, but not all of it. Edward couldn't stay away from me either. I'm his singer; we're meant to be -" I didn't give her time to finish her sentence. This whole thing about singers and mates was a load of fucking shit.

"Wrong, sweetheart." Grinning like a cocky fucker, I felt her challenge, waiting for me to continue. "Edward couldn't stay away because your blood sings to him, that is the only right thing you said. Emmett killed his singer, and guess fucking what? It wasn't Rose! Are you that fucking stupid that you believed you were mates because your blood sang to him? Give me a fucking break!"

"He fell in love with me, that counts for a lot."

Unable to help myself, I laughed at her.

"Love? Do even understand the notion of love? Real love? You love chocolate, but that doesn't mean its meant for you. You are to Edward like the best fucking chocolate bar on the market. That isn't real love." Raising my eyebrow at her, I challenged her to come at me again.

"You don't know how I feel about him," she countered.

"Empath, remember? I know exactly how you feel about him, just as I do about him towards you. I also know that your methods of getting down and dirty haven't paid off, have they?" Her cheeks flushed bright red.

"That's personal," she said as she became almost mortified that I knew this.

"Personal? In a house full of vampires where we hear everything? Did you forget our hearing? Hell, we all know that there is no action between the sheets with you two." It almost seemed impossible, but Bella's face turned a deeper red than it already was.

"Why are you mentioning my sex life?" She asked, trying to change the direction.

"Lack of," I corrected. "Because that's my point. If you were his true mate, you wouldn't be able to keep your hands off each other once the realisation of love was noted."

"He said it was too dangerous and that he could kill me." Bella's attempt to counter me was laughable. I realise that humans couldn't recall everything we could, that sometimes it went a little fuzzy and things were forgotten, but really?

"And how many times have you asked him to turn you?" She looked down at her lap. "And how many times has he said no? He wouldn't have wasted time waiting, if you were his. He would have made it top priority to turn you so you two could be together forever. Fact is, Edward was more than willing to let you grow old next to him and then die." Countered, cornered, and defeated.

Looking over at her, I saw the tears begin to roll down her cheeks once more. She knew she had nothing else to battle back with, and the realisation that she had lost this battle was hitting her hard. Maybe somewhere, in her brain, she figured she could argue her way out of this. I proved her wrong there. My words would no doubt be turning in her head now, wondering if what I was saying was true. It didn't matter if he did actually love her. She couldn't deny I had a point, a very fucking valid point at that.

"Edward will kill you when he realises that..." she trailed off as she saw my expression. I had thought of this, and to be honest, I really didn't much of a rat's ass right now. Edward could come, and Edward could join her! Hell, I could wait it out and have a two for one sale!

"Let him come. Really, Bella. I figured you were aware of my back ground? Edward is a good fighter, but trust me when I say this. He wouldn't stand a chance against me." She wiped her eyes and shook her head at me.

"You're not this person, Jasper. I know you're not." And we're back to trying to talk our way out of this.

"This is who I am. You think because you saw a good Southern boy, I wasn't capable of this? I was made for war, Bella. Both in human life and vampire life. Never be fooled by how someone acts with a past like mine. Chances are, you have no idea what I am capable of."

"Jasper, please. So many people will get hurt by you doing this." She tried and failed to make me feel guilty. People would be hurt, but they would get over it. It's the way the world works.

"I lost everything because of you, so do not tell me how others will feel. Say hello to the end of the fucking road and embrace it. Everything you once knew is gone, and you are having a lovely date with death." Slowing the car down, I pulled into a nasty looking biker bar. "Hungry? Thirsty? Need to piss?"

"None of the above," she lied.

"Whatever. I can hear your stomach growling, and I reckon you need to piss. Isn't it a morning thing with humans to need to piss when waking up?" I smirked out as I pulled under the shaded side of the car park.

Cutting the engine, I went to open the door, figuring she would either leave the car on her own free will or I would drag her out. "Jasper? I can't go in there." Are you fucking kidding me?

"Why?"

She pointed down her body. I noticed the boy shorts and tee she had been sleeping in. "Fine," I snapped and jumped out of the car. Heading to the boot of the car, I popped it and rummaged through the bag I had packed. Pulling out a pair of jeans, I walked to the passenger side of the car and opened the door. "Here, put these on and get out the car." Slamming the door shut, I turned my back to the window to give her some privacy.

Leaning against the car, I pulled my fingers through my hair and took in the surroundings. It was the typical biker pit. Overweight men, underweight men, most unshaven and most certainly dirty. This was going to be hell for Bella, and while the thought did run through my mind to get back in the car and find somewhere else for her to do her human things, if I am honest, I didn't give a fuck. Bella could sit there all uncomfortable and moan about it, or she could shock me and actually find this place interesting and not let it bother her. Either way, we weren't stopping somewhere else. Hearing her move, I stepped away from the door as she opened it.

"I don't have shoes," she stated while looking at her feet.

"Flip flops, in the foot well of the car." Bella looked at me and then down at the foot well. "That's all I brought, so deal with it." I could feel her anger roll of her in waves which quickly followed with anticipation and nerves.

I could hear her feet hitting the dirt as she ran to catch me up. She was panicky and scared; the surroundings of this place weren't pleasing her that much.

"Jasper, please wait." Huffing, I stopped and looked over my shoulder as Bella tried unsuccessfully not to trip over herself. Rolling my eyes at her, I wondered how long it would take for her to attract the attention of the bikers in here.

Once she had caught up, I pushed the door open and entered the bar. Bella's heart rate picked up as she looked around, trying to stick close to me. Chuckling under my breath, I walked through and found us a table. Kicking back on the chair, I picked up the menu and began looking at it. Bella, on the other hand, continued to stand and look at me.

Without lifting my eyes off the menu, I clicked my fingers at her and pointed to the chair. "Sit." It came out a lot sterner than I had intended it to, but she did as she was told and pulled out the other chair.

"Jasper..I'm-"

"Scared, nervous, worried, to name but a few. I know." Casting my eyes over to her, I saw her biting her bottom lip as her eyes began to fill with tears. "Don't bother with the tears Bella, it's here or nothing."

"It's unsafe here." I could feel the truth she felt in her words, and while I had to agree that this wasn't the safest place for an eighteen year old girl to be, I still laughed at the statement.

"Right, so being in a house full of vampires is safer? Do you realise just how stupid you sound?" I asked, tossing the menu to her. "If you can survive a houseful of vampires, you can survive a biker pit."

Looking nervously around the room, Bella fidgeted in her seat uncomfortably. I could feel the question building up inside of her as she looked for the courage to ask me. I just hoped it wasn't going to be about me having her here and what I intended to do. The question would come up again at some point, but she had already pushed my buttons once today and I don't honestly believe I could maintain control if she pushed me again.

I wanted to wait it out before killing her. Miles had to be covered before we got there, and of course, Edward had to know she was missing and I had her. She had a few days of life still to live, and I fully intended to feed her and let her use restrooms. I may want to kill her, but the sound of a human stomach rumbling would drive me insane.

"Just ask, Bella," I said, growing tired of her contemplating the question.

"I need the toilet," she whispered while looking down, as if to hide her blush. "I don't know where it is." Or more so, she too scared to walk to it.

"Over there," I pointed with a amusing smirk, knowing how scared she was feeling.

"Right, okay." Giving her a boost of confidence, she stood quickly and almost raced to the toilet.

While she was away, I ordered her something to eat and drink, declining anything for myself. There was no fucking way I was going to play human in here and pretend to eat. Since we had been in here, I had noticed the curiosity and wonderment spike at different times. Bella's sudden run to the bathroom had caused a spike in curiosity and lust from the men in here, and wonderment as to why we were in here. None of them had the balls to come over and question, though a few had contemplated it. The joy of being a vampire was that humans naturally know that we're dangerous and they stay away.

By the time Bella came back, a coke and full English breakfast was sitting waiting for her. It looked greasy as hell and unappealing, but I figured it was the safest thing to order for her on the menu. Bella looked at the plate and then back to me. Smiling at her, I watched her sit and look around the room.

"Eat." She shook her head at me. _Stubborn bitch._ "If you don't eat here, it's gonna be a long drive until you see food again."

Carefully, she began to eat, with her eyes still looking around the room, taking in the men that stared at her and lusted after her. While she ate, I could the feel the battles she was having inside of her, trying to figure it all out. She couldn't decide who right now she was more afraid of... me, or the men in here. She couldn't figure out where the Jasper she knew had gone and where I had come from. I could feel her running though the days that lead up to the battle, the fear she felt, the love she held. She played though the battle, and the moment she found out about Alice, and while she understood my reasoning for wanting to strike revenge, it shocked her that I would hurt my brother this way.

Bella had no idea that by killing my mate she had awakened something in me and all rational thoughts had gone. She could sit and contemplate this all day, everyday, for the rest of her natural life. Yet, she would never fully understand why I was doing this. The poor little human girl sitting across from me had no idea the types of bonds we shared to our mates. And when a mate is killed and the person responsible for it is there for the taking, you're going to take it.

"Finished?" I asked, as she pushed the plate away from her.

"Yes," she answered before draining her Coke.

"Good, come on." Standing, I threw money on the table and left without so much as a second glance back at Bella.

Bella could have stayed behind and tried to call Edward or her dad. I had, after all, given her the perfect chance to alert someone that she had been kidnapped. But, I knew Bella wasn't that stupid. She wouldn't tell anyone in there; she was more afraid of them than she was of me. Right now, I was the safest option, but only just. Hearing her racing heartbeat following me, I couldn't help but smirk knowing she had done exactly what I thought she would do.

Getting into the car, I waited for her. Her tears trailed down her checks as she got in and buckled her seat belt. As I turned the engine, her emotions were all over the place, screaming and jumping around so much, completely and utterly erratic. Pulling back onto the highway, Bella's internal struggle continued. Guilt ran ripe throughout her, with something else lingering just underneath, almost like a burden she was carrying. Shaking my head at her, I snorted as I read her emotions. She had a lot to feel guilty about, and it wouldn't surprise me if she did feel Alice's death as a burden; she was the reason Alice was dead.

* * *

**So, Jasper was a little nice in this one. He fed her, albeit not in the best possible place, but you can't have it all. **

**Love it or hate it, I would love to know what you think. Thanks.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN/ Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. They do make me smile and keep me writing :)**

**Thanks to my girl for doing her beta magic. **

***This story does contian and will contian dark themes thoughout. If this is not your thing, hit the red X and find something else. **

**Enjoy!  
**

* * *

After what seemed like forever, Bella finally cried herself to sleep. I was determined not to cave and push her to sleep; the only thing I wanted to play with her emotions was to make her feel pain and nothing more. Yeah, I sent her a little boost of confidence at the biker bar. I'm not a complete selfless bastard. It was hardly fair to let her piss herself because not only would it have embarrassed the fuck out of her, but I would have had to have put up with the smell in the car. The smell of her blood was bad enough.

While she sat there crying, she was also mumbling words to Edward. Things that even he wouldn't hear. Our vampire hearing maybe good, but it isn't that fucking good. It did reach a point when she constantly chanted his name for about half an hour, where I seriously considered ripping her tongue out. _Jesus, was she always this god damn whiny? _

The sun was now going down, making it a lot safer for me, which was a good thing. The car was quickly running out of fuel and I wasn't willing to bet that sleeping whining bitch would actually get out and fill the tank up and pay.

Coming to a stop at the filling station, I climbed out and gently closed the door. Quickly filling up the tank, I went inside and picked up few things for Bella. Water, some snacks, shit that would keep her going until the morning. The morning would bring Edward on the phone. Oh, that was something I was really looking forward to. I almost wished I could be there to see his face when he realises that his love is long gone and my scent is lingering in the air. Charlie, no doubt, would now be out looking for his daughter. Thing is, he would be looking too close to home. Bella and home were miles apart. I had covered vast planes in the last twelve or so hours, and by the time tomorrow morning rolls round, I would be half way across the country. In reality, Edward didn't stand much of a chance in finding me before I killed Bella. His only hope would be to guess where I was and take a plane. But with no future seeing vampire in the family now, he was pretty fucking screwed there.

Getting back to the car, I purposely slammed the door shut, making Bella jump. For a few spilt seconds, she seemed to think she was back at home, until she looked around and saw my smiling gorgeous face.

"Nap well?" I asked, shoving the bag at her and starting the engine.

"No," she snapped out before huffing out her breath and folding her arms over her chest. "Jasper, please let me call my dad. Just let me..." Her words trailed off as she noticed my head shaking no at her.

"Your dad thinks you're either dead or you've run away. Either way, you won't be making a phone call." Bella began reeling out her pain at the thought of her dad thinking she was dead. A small, very small part of me felt slightly guilty. In affect, I was taking away her last chance to say goodbye to her family, the same thing that I had been through, but I couldn't risk it.

"Why, Jasper? Why are you doing this to me?" Oh, for the love of fucking god! Did we not go over this already?

"Alice. You killed my mate, and in turn, I am killing Edward's by killing you." Put that in your fucking pipe and smoke it!

"Killing me won't bring Alice back, Jasper," she half choked half sobbed out. "You're not the only one that lost her. The family lost her too... a daughter, a sister. I lost my best friend." Bella's weeping was grating at me already and she had only just woken up.

"Should I feel fucking sorry for you?" I seethed, making her flinch. "Should I? You lost your best friend. How fucking rude of me to not take into consideration your fucking feelings! Unfortunately, you're shit out of luck, because I honestly don't care how you feel or what you lost. It doesn't even compare to what I lost." By the time I had finished talking, it had come out as a growl. The sheer terror that was coming out of Bella was almost turning me on.

Was I taking pleasure in seeing her scared? Yes I fucking well was.

"Jasper...please."

"Please what? Don't kill you?" I snickered out. "Fat fucking chance. What's wrong Bella, is the idea of being around vampires no longer that appealing?"

"Edward would never treat me like this."

Laughing at the end of her statement, I could feel the rage slowly begin to stir inside her.

"No wonder Edward was always so weary to have you around me. You're unstable."

"Not unstable, Bella. I just have a harder time resisting my natural urges." Bella's disgust rolled off her in waves as she looked at me. "Be disgusted to your heart's content, Bella. Your perfect little Eddie isn't so clean cut has he likes to make out."

"He told me all about his period away from the family. He didn't take an innocent life, unlike you." Bella screamed out at me. Maybe she did have a backbone in her after all.

"Innocent lives? Yes, I did take them. But so did Eddie. Of course, he took out more the low life scum of the earth with his mind reading, but don't be fooled into thinking he never took an innocent life, Bella. Open your eyes. He's a vampire, animal drinking or not, and he craves blood. He gave into what he truly is. Put him on a fucking pedestal and tell yourself how great he is. You're only fooling yourself." Bella shook her head at me and began pulling her bottom lip between her fingers.

The sound of almost silence filled the car once more. Bella sniffled and wept besides me once more. Her emotions playing nothing short of a roller coaster. Fear, terror, sadness, grief, and trepidation. She was confused, hurt, and angry that this was happening to her. The feeling of someone lying to her was causing her almost as much pain as the grief she was feeling. That sparked my interest a little. Why would she be feeling betrayed? If she lived long enough, I may decide to go back and ask her why she felt so betrayed. I was pretty certain that it wasn't betrayal of her being in this car; at least it didn't feel that way.

Again the heavy burden was back, weighing in on her at a crushing force. She was well aware that she was the root cause of all this. Alice's death was her burden to carry for the rest of her days, which will be very short lived. What she was pushing out of her was becoming too much. I had to shut myself down and not feel her, which was no easy task to lock myself down. Blocking out her emotions only heightened my other senses. Her scent... the smell of her blood pushing and rushing throughout her body was making my throat burn. I needed to hunt, and soon. The events of the last almost twenty-four hours were wearing on me, and while I had hunted before I took her and I could go for a week or a little more before needing to feed again, my will power was not what the others had. Right now, Bella's pulsing vein was looking very appealing.

Pushing the electric button, the window dropped down, letting the night's cool air fill the car. The cool, fresh air washed over me, clearing my senses but not taking the full burn off my throat. Glancing at the clock on the dashboard, I figured that I only had another three or so hours until Edward will call and have a hissy fit that my scent was all over Bella's room and she was no where in sight. I knew the family wouldn't be back until the morning, but Edward would return before them, wanting to see his love that no doubt he had missed. I hope he enjoys the feeling of missing the person he loves. I gotta admit, it's a bitch to get used to. No amount of thinking, praying, or hoping will bring them back and take that missing, lonely feeling away.

What left her mouth in the following seconds hit me like a wrecking ball. "Alice told me." It came out in just a whisper but it was enough to cause my emotions to crush me. Slamming the breaks on, the car skidded slightly before coming to a stop.

Turning and looking at her with my eyes wide, I asked, "What did you just say?" Bella sniffled and wiped her eyes.

"I knew Alice was going to die. She told me." It came out in a choked sob, and I lost it.

Moving like lightening, I got out the car and moved around to the passenger door. Yanking it open with so much force that I was surprised it stayed on its hinges, I pulled Bella out by the arm. Slamming her hard against the side of the car, my face was inches from hers. A blaze of emotions crashed though me. I was unbelievably furious at her and disgusted all at the same time, yet I was trying to keep myself calm. I needed to be calm to feel if she was lying to me or not. If she was, she would be fucking dying in seconds.

"You knew?" I asked in a growl. Bella nodded her head. Time froze again for me. Everything seemed to crash and stop for just that spilt second before it kicked in again. Bella was telling the truth. She knew Alice was going to die. She knew my mate had just weeks or so left with me and she never said a fucking word.

"Jasper, I'm-"

"You never said a fucking word!" I screamed, making her tremble. "Why didn't you tell me, Bella? Why?"

"She made me swear not to tell you," she whispered out as her form shook both from the drop in temperature and fear.

"You still should have told me. I can't believe you knew and you never said a word to me." The thought suddenly dawned on me. Edward. "Did he know? Did he?" Bella was scared. She was revealing something that she knew she shouldn't have kept to herself and was worried about what the consequences of that lie was.

"No," she lied.

"Don't fucking lie!" I demanded as my hand squeezed her arm even more, making her wince.

"He didn't know until the last minute, I swear." I lost it. The fucking bastard who claimed to be my brother, claimed he was sorry for Alice's death, fucking knew and never said.

In a spilt second, I had thrown Bella off the car and sent her crashing across the ground. A popping sound followed my movements and I knew her shoulder had become dislocated. Bella crashed into a nearby tree and cut her head open. The wound wasn't big, but it was enough for her to bleed and bring the smell of blood my way. Launching myself through the air, I landed over Bella in a crouch. Teeth bared and growls ripping through my chest, I readied myself for human blood. Her human blood.

Yanking her head back, Bella screamed out as I saw the jugular vain pumping her blood quickly through her body. Her heart rate was fast and racing, knowing her death was coming as fear consumed her. Her eyes were wide and pleading with me as I moved in for the kill.

"She did it to protect you," she screamed at me, just as my teeth touched her skin. Jumping back from her, shock over took me.

"Protecting me how?" Still crouching down and ready to strike again, I watched Bella slowly pull herself up into a sitting position, wincing in pain.

"She said if you knew, you would protect her. And that you too would die," Bella sobbed out.

"No," I whispered out. "No, that wouldn't have happened," I growled out at Bella, making her flinch once again.

"She looked and she saw. She tried to think of a different way around it, but the all ended the same way, some worse than others. Wiping out half the family. She decided not to tell you and sacrifice herself for you." Bella's words floored me.

Within seconds of hearing her words, I was on my ass on the ground. The fight I had in me had suddenly gone. Knees bent and wrists resting on my knees, my head dropped down, looking at the ground underneath me. Tearless sobs left me as I mourned Alice once more. Growls, cries, and screams of pain filled the night sky while I tried to understand all this new information. My brain could think of multiple things at once, yet I couldn't wrap my head around Alice's protection of me. Yes, we would fight to the death to protect our mates, but I never thought Alice would go about it in this fashion. Somewhere, somehow, I assumed she would have told me. Surely, she owed me that much.

No, I would have still tried to stop her if I had known. I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from protecting her and therefore causing greater damage. While Alice's vision could always change, I knew she trusted what she saw. If she had looked over this more than once, and seen different outcomes, she would have done what she thought was right, and in the process hurt me. _Why couldn't she have told me this that last morning we had together? _The thought played over and over again in my mind. Images of that morning, our final time together, how she was. Love poured out of her; she was nervous and scared and I should have known. I should have seen it, read her emotions right. I placed it all down to her worrying over the fight, worrying over her family and me, that I never once considered that she was hiding something.

How could I have been so stupid and not noticed it? The extra closeness she gave off days before the fight, it was so out of character for her. Open displays of affection were limited with Alice and me; it was more private between the two of us compared to the likes of Emmett and Rose, who, given half the chance, wouldn't think much to screwing all over the house. Alice had become extra clingy with me, not that I minded the sudden change, but that should have been enough to make me see that something was wrong.

"Jasper?" Bella's pain filled voice cut through my thoughts. _Shit! _

What was I meant to do now? I had heard her shoulder pop when I threw her. There was no doubt it was now dislocated and causing her great pain. Her shoulder would have to be popped back into place before we could move. But how I was meant to do that? I could easily pop it back in, but Bella was also bleeding. I needed time to think and re-plan everything. I hadn't thought of the fact that Bella was hiding something like this, that she knew Alice was going to die. This new collection of information had sent everything into a spin. She knew things, things I wanted to know and I needed to get them out of her.

Bella's pain and discomfort bombarded me. I needed to do something about it without draining her. If I killed her now, I would never know the full extent of what Alice had told her. Slowly getting to my feet, I walked to the back of the car and pulled out the first aid kit that was in the boot. Bella's eyes were fixed on me as I slowly and cautiously walked towards her. Her heart was beating a mile a minute. The sweet smell of her blood was lacing the air and clouding my senses.

Stopping just a few steps away from her, I placed the first aid kit on the ground and took a deep breath. A growl ripped through my chest as my throat burned. My mouth began filling with venom at the thought of her blood filling my mouth. The beast within was rejoicing at what was sitting so close to me. Human blood was right there, rolling slowly down the side of her face, tempting me even more. Shaking my head, I tried to clear my head of these thoughts and focus on the task at hand. I could drain her later, once I had the information I wanted from her.

"Jasper," she whispered in a frantic voice, her brown eyes wide and full of fear as I moved closer to her.

As I took hold of her arm, Bella cried out in pain and put her other hand over her shoulder. Moving it, I looked at her, seeing the blood covering the side of her face. "This is going to hurt," I said though gritted teeth as I popped it back into place. Bella cried out in agony as I pushed it back. "Sorry. It's gonna be sore for a few days."

Moving away from her, I picked up the first aid kit and looked at it. My throat was on fire from the smell of her blood and I was finding it hard to keep focused on anything other than that throbbing vein in her neck. Bella could do this herself, but it would mean her going back into the car to use the mirror and light, which would mean the smell of her blood, fresh and pooling out of her, would be in there. That wouldn't help me in the slightest. She couldn't do it here as she couldn't see it, and I do remember Edward saying that the sight of blood made Bella feel ill and often would make her pass out. How the fuck was I meant to get around this? I wasn't Carlisle, who never fucking batted an eye at the sight of blood and could happily be around it all god damn day. All I wanted to do right now was drain the fucking bitch.

I could either do this and hope I don't drain her, or let her do it and fill the car with the smell of blood, which would make me want to drain her. Which of the two evils was worse? "You're gonna have to trust me here," I told her as I opened up the first aid kit. Everything but trust was running out of Bella, which I really couldn't blame her for.

"Trust you? Are you freaking kidding me?" She screamed and then winced when she moved her arm. "You kidnapped me, dragged me out of the car, and threw me into a tree, all because I knew about Alice's death. Why should I trust you when all you want to do is kill me?"

Nostrils flaring, I threw the first aid kit at her. "Do it your fucking self then, miss fucking perfect." My anger was getting the better of me as I stood up and began walking back to the car. Bella stayed still and unmoving, not completely sure what had just transpired between us.

Climbing on top of the car, I sat on the roof and looked at Bella. She continued to sob and not move from the spot I left her in. Staring at the first aid kit, Bella looked back up at me. Her emotions conflicted with one another. The good girl in her felt sorry for snapping at me and basically pushing away my help, which she knew she needed right now. The backbone part of her was busy telling her that she shouldn't feel sorry for it, and that I was the one that did this and brought her here. The good girl in her was winning the battle. She new she had to come to me and ask for my help or she would be dead by morning. The longer that cut went unsealed for, the greater the chance of my restraint breaking was. Bella didn't want to die, she wanted to go home to Edward. She may have been willing to die to protect others, but she wasn't about to willingly die over me kidnapping her.

"Jasper, please. I need your help," she pleaded at me.

"Why? I just want to kill you, so why should I help?" I asked as I looked around the night sky. "You should enjoy the night sky, Bella. Chances are, you won't be alive come sunrise." Chuckling, I laid down across the roof of the car and bent my knee. "Oh yeah, I forgot. You don't see the night sky the way I do, because Edward is too much of a pussy to change you."

"You don't really want to kill me, Jasper. I know you don't, not really." That statement had me laughing. Could she really think I didn't want to kill her? Especially after everything she had done?

"Wrong, Bella. I do want to kill you. Right now, I am thinking of how sweet your blood will taste, or how warm it will feel as it travels down my throat. Draining you is something I am really looking forward to, actually." Bella screamed and growled at the same time in frustration, somewhat shocking me.

"Will you please just help me, Jasper?" She screamed and kicked the first aid kit. "Please."

"Alright, stop the fucking whining! God damn, I'm shocked Edward hasn't fucking nailed you with this fucking whining." Jumping down off the roof of the car, I slowly walked back to Bella. The closer I got to her, the more my throat burned and venom pooled in my mouth.

"I'm sorry. I know this is going to be uncomfortable for you," Bella whispered out, her emotions matching the tone of her voice. She was sorry and concerned at just how uncomfortable this was going to make me.

"Uncomfortable? Understatement, Bella." She screwed her face slightly as I popped the lid of the peroxide. Dabbing it onto the cotton ball, I tried to push away the intense blood lust that was running though me.

Not breathing, I quickly cleaned up the cut with the peroxide. Bella winced and hissed slightly as it stung. I wanted to tell her to stop being a pussy and man up a little, but as the risk of opening my mouth would mean the blood filled air would touch my tongue and kick my blood lust into overdrive, I decided against it. Seeing her blood was bad enough. Even in the dark night's sky, I could see it perfectly clear. Quickly undoing the plaster and sticking it to the side of Bella's head, I moved away in a flash. In all fairness, the cut was nothing. It was one of those tiny little cuts that piss a shit load of blood and make it a lot worse than it was. Taking a couple of deep breaths away from Bella caused my throat to burn. The smell of her blood was still lingering in the air, mixed with the slightest hint of peroxide. It was enough to stop me from draining her, but only just.

Bella's concern slowly washed over me. Her concern was a mixture of concern over herself and concern over me. The whole thing was funny to me. I had kidnapped her, dragged her ass half way across the country, dislocated her shoulder and almost drained her, yet she was still concerned over me. Were all humans this fucking weird when in the face of danger? Surely not; she certainly had no thought over keeping herself safe. She was more than happy to be concerned for others, when others were the reason she was miles from home.

"Jasper," her voice was faint and slightly shaking as she called me, "Are you okay?"

"No!" I shot out at her. "I'm not fucking okay." Again, I shut my emotions down. It was bad enough feeling her emotions, let alone my own. It wasn't helping that I could almost see Alice's disappointed face in my head, frowning at me for hurting her best friend yet again.

Alice had handled the whole me trying to kill Bella pretty well. She understood better than anyone the struggles I faced over keeping my control. Even though she understood, she was still disappointed and hurt that I had done that. There was no doubt that if Alice was still around, she would be on my ass and killing me for this, and maybe even the threat of burning me might have passed her lips. Though, with that thought, if Alice was still here, none of this would have happened.

I missed Alice. I was being destroyed from the inside out and completely unable to stop it or to see when it would end. I knew it wouldn't end. Every day would be just as bad as the one before, and maybe over time, I would learn to handle it better, but my life was over. My life ended the day I saw Alice burning in that fire. She had been the one that saved me, brought me to this new life, and in turn left me here. _Was this me paying for my sins? _If it was, I couldn't argue with it. Over my life, I had done many things I wasn't that proud of, and I had caused pain to others that didn't deserve it. Maybe in some weird way, I deserved this.

Sighing, I began to walk back to the car. "Get your ass up off the ground, Bella, and get in the fucking car."

* * *

**Like it? Love it? Hate it? Hit the review button and tell me what you think**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN/ Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this fic so far. I am so pleased you guys are enjoying my little outting with them! Thanks to my girl for working her magic. **

**Enjoy!  
**

* * *

**JPOV**

"Can you behave?" My words came out through gritted teeth at Bella.

We were parked outside an all night chemist, at just turned one in the morning. Bella needed some pain relief to take the edge off the pain in her shoulder. In all fairness, I don't think I could handle her discomfort on top of the faint smell of her blood that was still lingering around her. I would be likely to kill her before I could get what I wanted out of her.

Tonight's little incident would put us behind slightly. We would have to stop at a motel somewhere so she could shower and get that blood off her. Considering what I had just put her through, I figured the least I could do is find her a bed for the night instead of sleeping in the car. This could work to my advantage. I needed to hunt, and soon. With Bella asleep in bed, I could hunt and plan my next step, without having to babysit her. The new found information she had given me changed everything. I understood why she felt she had a burden on her shoulders now, as she should. Bella knew that Alice was going to die and she never said a word. That thought alone angered me more than knowing she was the reason why Alice was dead.

"Yes." A one word answer that showed no emotion at all.

Pulling the key out of the ignition, I flashed a warning smile, making sure to show my razor sharp teeth. Quietly opening the door, I slipped out and closed it behind me gently. Somewhere inside of me, I felt a little guilty for hurting Bella. Just a tiny bit, but enough to make me be that extra bit careful with her right now. That, and I wanted her to willingly give me the information I wanted. A few minutes later, I opened the car door again, complete with a small bag for Bella. Inside contained painkillers mainly, but I did pick up a bottle of water, some chocolate, and some deodorant. The last thing I wanted was to be confined in a small space with a human smelling of BO.

Passing the bag to her, Bella took it and peeked inside. "Take the meds, Bella. We'll find a motel somewhere for you to shower and sleep. We'll hit the road again in the morning."

Bella looked calm and composed but her emotions were anything but. Somewhere inside her mind, she figured that this was some trap and that I was just going to kill her now. While killing her wasn't off the cards, I wasn't going to do it right now.

"Why?" she asked in a shy voice. "Why a motel?"

"I figured you could use a shower," I answered with a small shrug of my shoulders.

"That doesn't make sense, Jasper. You did this to me. You kidnapped me and, for all intents and purposes, you want to kill me. So why take me to a motel? I don't believe for one second that you want me to shower and sleep in a bed," Bella barked out.

"Believe what you want to believe, Bella," I snapped back, feeling the shock run out of her before it hit her face. Had she really not expected me to snap back? I would have thought that over the last day or so, Bella would have figured out that whatever she threw at me I could throw back, and twice as hard. "I am trying to do something nice for you, Bella."

Snorting, Bella shook her head. "Something nice? What a load of crap."

"Look, Bella. I am doing this as much for you as for me. Now quit fucking bitching about it and look forward to a fucking hot shower and a comfy bed. It could be your last one." Bella sighed and sat back in the seat, wincing slightly over her shoulder.

The faint smell of salt filled the car again as we drove in silence. Out the corner of my eye, I could see the clear almost crystal like droplets of salty water running down her cheeks. I had never been envious of a human since I was turned, but right now, at this moment in time, I was envious of her. She could cry and release her anguish, but I couldn't. Sure, we could go through the emotions of it, perform the act, but the tears would never fall. That in itself was something that made it that much harder. There was no release of tears from the act; everything remained completely pent up as it had been before.

In more ways than one, I was envious of the fact that not only she could cry and release some of her pain, but also because she still had her mate. Despite what I thought about them not actually being mates, she still had Edward waiting for her. If she got out of the ordeal alive, which I highly fucking doubt, she'll have his arms to run into. My mate was nothing more than a pile of ash sitting in an urn at the family home. I couldn't touch her again, hold her in my arms, or breathe in her scent. The rest of my days were to be spent alone.

Pulling into the motel car park, I cut the engine and looked at Bella. Her head was resting against the window as she continued to gently cry while nursing her shoulder. Sighing, I twisted in my seat to face her. "Bella? I'm sorry I hurt you tonight. That wasn't my intention. I know you know I plan on killing you, but I never planned to hurt you like this. That's the honest truth."

"Sure," she answered, almost not even caring about what I had said. I knew she didn't fully believe it but it was true. My plan on killing and hurting her was far more brutal than that.

Not giving it another thought, I got out the car and made my way to the reception. Bella could think what she wanted. It didn't matter to me if she thought I had intentionally hurt her tonight. Whatever she thought or felt wouldn't matter soon enough; I just needed to re-plan and get what I wanted out of her. When Bella told me she knew, I just lashed out. Rage, hurt, anger, and sadness consumed me, and in that spilt second, I lost control. She knew Alice was going to die, but she had kept this information to herself for however long and not told me. What sort of a person does that? Yes, there was a chance I would have tried to stop Alice, but there was also a chance I wouldn't have if all the outcomes were looked at and explained to me. She took that chance away from me. I could never forgive her for that, never.

Paying for a room for the night, I watched as the old dirty man looked over to the car and eyed Bella up. The slight lick of his lips as he clocked the female figure sparked his lust. His eyes flickered to me then back to Bella, and curiosity and wonder began to come out of him. The feelings alone had me smiling as I lent over the reception desk towards him.

"She's not with me, if that's what you're wondering," I mused out as he gasped slightly and became very excited. "She's a virgin, too. Just think about pounding that tight pussy," I added with a slight chuckle.

"She can come play with daddy any day she likes," he said with another lick of his lips.

"She's my brother's girlfriend," I said. Embarrassment and humiliation washed over him as I chuckled. "It's okay. I thought you might like a new mental image to jerk off to. Thanks for the room." Grabbing the key off the desk, I walked out the door, hearing the little bells chime as the top of the door caught it.

Walking past the car, I could feel Bella's eyes on me as I walked under the dimly lit lights that were dotted around the edges and just under the canopy. Unlocking the door to our room, I flicked the light on and looked around. Dull, cheap, and very nasty with its nineteen sixties wall paper still hanging on the walls. I almost expected it to have coloured lighting or some shit. It was clean though, well, just about. But, for how much it cost, lady muck can't exactly complain; she should be lucky and thankful that I have brought her here to rest for the night.

Heading back outside to the car, I popped the boot open and pulled out the bags. Slamming the boot shut, I walked around to the passenger door and yanked it open. Bella looked at me, half shocked and half surprised. Her eyes were wide and staring back at me like some moron who needed telling what to do next.

"Get out the car, Bella, before I drag you out!" Half demanding and half growling, I turned sharpish on my heel and headed back into the room. Leaning up against the wall inside the cheap room, I heard Bella close the door and walk slowly to the door of the room. Her feet were almost dragging over the rough gravel of the parking lot.

Apprehension, fear, disgust, and forgiveness ran off Bella as she stepped inside the room. She had every reason to be scared right now... to fear me. I wasn't the most self controlled vampire in the Cullen household. Bella knew she was in deep shit right now, and she was more than aware that I wanted answers. She's a smart enough girl to realise that me bringing her here had more to do with her telling me what Alice had said than anything else. Her own personal welfare was not my concern. I didn't care if she was sore, in pain, or hurting. Nor did I care how scared she felt. Bella had betrayed, plain and simple.

"Sit on the bed, Bella. Me and you are gonna have a little heart to heart." I watched as she walked, head down, towards the bed. I knew she was sorry, but her sorries weren't going to cut it now.

"Jasp-"

I cut her off before she had a chance to finish my name. There was no way I was allowing her to ask any fucking questions. I was the one asking and she will answer me, even if it means me forcing it out of her.

"Tell me what Alice said. Tell me how long you knew and tell me why you didn't tell me!" I demanded in a low, menacing growl.

"A while. She said she kept seeing the flight over and over again, and her death. She was scared half to death, Jasper. I told her to tell you and she wouldn't. I begged her to, I swear, but she said if you knew then it would make it worse. Alice wanted to keep the family safe. She knew you would interject if you knew and it would have badly damaged the family. I told her that it may not happen, that it could change...you said her visions were subject to change, right?" she asked. Bella knew the answer already, but I still gave her a swift sharp nod to continue. "Alice told me she had looked. Gone over different things and they all ended the same way."

"What else?" I asked, my eyes still fixed on the blubbering human that my brother just had to be with. _Bitch!_

"That's it. She said she had done all she could and that this was how it was meant to be. Fate." Snorting at her chosen word,I shook my head.

"Fate? You call it fate? My mate died because of you and you're sitting there calling it fate?"

"What else would you call it?" She demanded as once again as she found her courage. Under any other given time, I would have found this funny. Edward's little weak human acting all big to a vampire was an interesting take. While I knew and was all too aware that she had no means of preserving herself, I never really saw her grow a backbone and stand up for herself like this.

"Not fucking fate, little girl." Bella held my gaze for a second before retreating and lowering her head. "Tell me why you didn't tell me."

"Because Alice had already sa-" I was growing tired of this excuse over and over again. I wanted to know why she didn't tell me, despite what Alice had seen.

"Do not tell me about the god damn fucking vision again! Tell me why!" I all but growled out.

"Alice made me promise not to tell anyone. Do you know what it's like walking around with that sort of burden on your shoulders?" And again, her attitude was back.

"But you did tell someone, didn't you? You told Edward the morning of the fight." Bella choked a sob at her mate's name.

"I had to tell someone, Jasper."

"And you chose to tell him and not me? I was her fucking mate, not Edward. If you should have told anyone, it should have been me."

"I couldn't betray Alice's trust like that."

"Yet you could, because you told him. Why the fuck did you not tell me, Bella? Give me the real fucking reason."

"Because I didn't see the point in telling you when you have never done anything for me!" she screamed at me. "You never accepted me, never. When Edward first met me, you planned on killing me to avoid any exposure. Then you almost killed me on my birthday last year, which in turn, took Edward away from me for months on end. Do you know what that did to me? Do you? No, you fucking don't. So why should I tell you when you clearly don't give a fuck about me?"

A second, maybe two, of silence filled the room. It was the first time silence had filled the room since we started arguing, and for once I was lost for words. Stunned. That's what I was right now, stunned. Me and Bella had never been close, and while she held valid points, I did look at her as part of the family. I had no choice but to accept that Edward's chosen mate was a human who couldn't stay on her feet if her life depended on it. Again my world crashed as I slid down the wall I had been leaning against. She didn't tell me because I hadn't been accepting enough towards her.

She chose not to tell me. Bella made the choice not tell me because I hadn't welcomed her into the family with open arms. I had tried to get to know her a little more, tried to speak to her a few times and be a little more friendly than the polite hello and goodbye when she came and went from the house. But Edward was always so protective of her being anywhere near me, and rightly so. I'm not someone you really want to have your human in love with. But was that really a good enough reason not to tell me? To deny me that last chance to say goodbye to Alice? To tell her that I loved her, and that she meant everything to me? It wasn't, in my book.

I felt her regret before I heard her move off the bed. My head was down, staring at the nasty carpeted floor that had seen better days, while I tried to process this. Did she hate me that much back then? She had always claimed she didn't blame me for her birthday mishap, that it was okay, though clearly now it wasn't. She held that against me when she knew my mate was going to die, all for what? Her own personal vendetta?

"Jasper?" Her voice was weak and timid as she moved towards me. Feelings of sorrow and regret washed over me so deeply that it took me a moment or two to realise just how close she was getting.

Lifting my eyes off the ground, I saw Bella's flustered face just a few inches from mine. "You hated me that much that you wouldn't tell me that my mate was going to die," I stated. Tears began to fill her eyes once more as she bit her bottom lip again. "Bella, that's...that's just cruel. Despite what I thought of you or think of you, if it had been the other way around, I wouldn't have denied you that last chance."

"Jasper...I..." Her words trailed off as her hand touched my arm in what she thought was a comforting gesture. Comfort from her was the last thing I wanted now. Slapping her hand away, I bounced to my feet in one fluid motion.

"Never fucking touch me or try to comfort me! Not after this." Bella looked up at me as tears ran down her face. "Get off the fucking floor and go shower. I wanna be out of here by sunrise." With that, I opened the door and slammed it shut.

It had never been my plan to walk out of the door and go hunting with Bella still very much awake, but now, I just had to get away. I needed time to think and I needed it now. Bella was fully awake and the keys to the car were on the side. She could leave and try and head back to Edward, or call him and get him to meet her, thus putting an end to my kidnap and kill event. But in all honestly, right now, I didn't fucking care. Whatever Bella thinks of me now didn't matter. She hated me now, and rightly so, but what was doing me was what she thought of me before this, or the lack of thought she had. What I had said to Bella was true. If it had of been her on the other end of this and not me, I would have told her.

Taking off in a run, and away from human eyes, I raced towards the small town we were in. Everything that had transpired over the last twenty-four hours or so was at the forefront of my mind. It was on a permanent loop, repeating over and over again with crystal clarity. Her words continued to echo in my head and, no matter how much I tried to push them away, they remained there. She spoke with such conviction, so much hatred in her voice, and feelings, that it was hard to tell if she really meant it or not. Though I didn't bother to register her feelings, her words had reduced me to nothing. All I could do was focus on them and try and process everything.

Before I knew really what I was doing, I had cornered a couple. The woman in my arms was letting out a deathly scream of sheer terror as her boyfriend looked on in utter shock. With one hand pulling her head back and exposing her neck as the other held her firm to me, and without so much as a second thought, my teeth sunk into her neck, piercing right through the jugular. Warm, sweet blood filled my mouth as I began to pull. The monster within rejoiced at finally being me again and not pretending to be happy with animal blood.

She trashed in my arms, screaming in pain, as I continued to drain her dry. The woman's boyfriend had grown a set, had tried to intervene, and was currently on my back, trying to get me off her. A low, rumbling growl seeped out from my chest as I dropped the woman's body to the ground. Throwing him off my back, his eyes grew wide with terror as he saw his girlfriend's lifeless body on the ground. Within seconds, I had hold of him in the same position I had held his girlfriend and sunk my teeth into his neck. He never even got chance to say a word, though from the emotions he was giving off, I don't think he would have made a coherent sentence.

Once drained and on the ground with his girlfriend, I felt full and for the first time in a long time, I felt sustained. There wasn't that underlying need for more; no longer did I feel thirsty. I was fully satisfied.

Deep in the back of my mind, I felt guilty for giving in to who I truly was. The couple, now lying dead on the ground, didn't deserve to die. They were truly innocent and just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. If I had thought more, I could have found a more suitable human or humans to feed from if I was truly just going to be me again. Yet, I didn't. I made an error by giving in and killing the first people I came across. There was no point in dwelling on the innocent lives I had just taken. It wouldn't bring them back. I would just have to be more careful next time.

Disposing of the bodies and covering my tracks, I made my way back to the motel, slightly surprised that my phone hadn't gone off yet. I would have assumed Edward would have left the family's hunting trip slightly earlier to get back to Bella. Maybe he actually felt that Bella was now truly safe and could afford to stay with the family for the full hunting trip. How wrong was he?

Rounding the corner to the motel, I noticed Carlisle's back Mercedes still parked in the same spot I parked it in last night. Slightly shocked by the sight of the car, I was not prepared to open the door to the room and find Bella curled into a ball on the bed and fast asleep. She had the perfect chance to leave. The car had almost a tank full of gas, the keys were on display to her, yet she hadn't left. Instead, she stayed. She had showered and changed clothes, replacing her top with one of my hoodies before falling asleep. I was unsure how I felt about Bella currently sleeping in one of my hoodies, and not her own. Though, I knew for a fact that the only items of clothing Bella had with her were a pair of jeans and her sleeping clothes that I had taken her in.

Brushing off the slightly uncomfortable feeling at seeing her in one of my hoodies, I picked up my bag and headed into the bathroom to shower. Pausing at the reflection in the mirror, I noticed my now deep crimson eyes looking back at me. It seemed strange seeing them again after all this time. I had grown so used to them being gold that the red shocked me slightly. This would take some time to get used to seeing again, and no doubt the whining fucking human would have a thing or two to say about my new eating habits.

Deciding that I really didn't care and that I was secretly looking forward to her reaction, I stripped and got in the shower. Standing underneath the scalding shower spray, I could still hear Bella 's heartbeat and shallow breaths in the room next door. I needed to decide what I was going to do with her. My plan had been so simple... kidnap her and get as far away from Forks as possible and then kill her. Simple. But now, everything seemed so much more complicated. Of course it had to be more complicated, it was her! Anything that involved her wasn't simple.

I hated her, that was the bottom line. She was the reason my life had suddenly been turned upside down and the reason why my mate was no longer around and walking this earth with me.

Hearing her breathing pattern change, I cut the shower off and got out. Drying off and dressing, I feel Bella's nerves begin to seep towards me. It's slowly moving, but gaining it's intensity as she considers her future. Reading through her emotions, it's easy to pinpoint what she is thinking about and trying not to. I would have assumed that she would be trying not to think about the next few days and how the end of her life is almost here. It's what most normal people would do, but not Bella. She's more concerned with how I may react to seeing her this morning still here and in my hoodie that she is trying to think of other things to block it out.

Opening the bathroom door, I saw Bella sitting on the bed. Her knees were pulled up to her chest with her arms wrapped tightly around them. Slowly, her eyes lifted up and looked at me, and a small gasp left her lips as she saw my eyes. Her emotions let rip. It was an assault of emotions hitting me, jumping from one thing to another, all as intense as the one before. She seemed to have forgotten about the fact that she was wearing my hoodie and the fact she was still here, and was concentrating on the fact I had killed innocent people on my hunt.

Slightly amused by her reaction, I began to walk across the room when I heard her whispering voice of "why?" Stopping in my tracks, I turned to look at her and raised on eyebrow, challenging her to continue. "Why, Jasper?"

"Why not?" I asked back as I leant against the wall, twirling the car keys in my hand.

"You're eating people, Jasper. What about animals? Having a different way to live?" A small chuckle left my lips which only angered her. "These humans were people, Jasper. They could have had families. Been a wife or husband, a mother or a father and you just killed them!"

"You're giving me the human rights speech?" I snickered. "Thing is, Bella, is that even if I hunt animals, I am killing something. The same circle of relationships runs among the animal kingdom. Are you gonna give Eddie boy the animal rights speech?" Bella's head dropped down slightly, signalling her giving up the argument. "Not got anything else to say on the matter? Did you forget the animal rights act?"

"They were people, Jasper," she mumbled out as her tears began to fall once more.

"Pack that fucking shit in. Dear god! We should take you a third world country where they don't have any water. The way you cry, you could flood a fucking nation!" I spat. "And another thing. Why are you in my hoodie?"

Bella looked down at the hoodie and began to pull at the hem. "I didn't have anything to wear. Sorry."

"Whatever, considering you're the only person who would stay when being kidnapped and given a perfect chance of escape. Get off the bed and get in the car. We need to make tracks because Eddie boy will be on the phone soon." I smirked as she suddenly felt her guilt and worry for Edward. "Enough dwelling! Car, now!"

* * *

**Please reveiw, thanks**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN/ Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. WOW, 100 reviews. Made me a happy camper :D**

**Thanks to my girl for working her magic for me**

**hope you guys enjoy this one.  
**

* * *

Out the corner of my eye, I could see Bella looking at the phone that was vibrating on the dash board. Her eyes kept darting between me and the phone. Her fingers twitched, wanting to pick it up and speak to Edward. We both knew who was on the end of the phone, yet I had failed to pick it up. Right now, I was happy and contented in letting little Eddie boy panic and get his panties in a twist. It was a little sick and twisted that I was currently letting my brother be sick with worry over his love. All I had to do was answer and tell him that she was here and alive for now, yet I was having too much fun picturing him right now. I had seen Edward get his panties in many twists and knew exactly what he would be doing. Pacing the floor, phone pressed to his ear, tugging his hair over and over again while he tried to figure things out. I still wished I had his reaction on camera.

Reaching for the phone, I heard Bella take a sharp breath as I picked it up. Smirking at her, I held it in my hand and turned my attention back to the road. The phone stopped vibrating and I sighed as Bella's anger and irritation picked up. Winking at her, I couldn't help but chuckle at her emotional protests over me not answering the phone. What did she think she could achieve if I answered the phone? Take it off me? Ha, I would love to see her try that one. Or maybe she would try and scream out where we were. Now that could be funny. What's she gonna shout out? 'We're on a road somewhere'? Hardly gives Eddie boy the best direction of where we are.

The phone once again started to vibrate and I had to admire his determination to get me to answer. Looking over at Bella, I saw her eyes filled with tears once again. Smiling, I asked, "Wanna answer it?"

"Please," she replied, making me smirk.

Flipping the phone open, Edward's voice screamed down the phone. "I know you have her! You hurt one hair on her head and I'll kill you."

"Well, hello Eddie! So nice of you to finally call. I was expecting this phone call a few hours ago, though it seems you didn't leave the hunting trip early. Shame, really," I smirked as my eyes flickered over to Bella.

"Where the hell are you?" Edward demanded down the phone.

"On a road, in a car," I chuckled, hearing Edward's growl down the phone. "What, Eddie? You didn't really think I would tell you where I am. What next? You gonna ask why?" I continued, snorting down the phone.

"I will find you, Jasper. You better not hurt her. Don't you think she has been through enough? James, Victoria, the new born army? I could throw your name into the mix as well!"he growled out at me, making me roll my eyes.

"Really? Does Bella know everything?" I looked over at Bella who seemed a little confused. "Did I not tell you to take care of Victoria? I seem to remember having this chat with you about it. I don't know, maybe I dreamt it up, but I am sure you said something along the lines of 'Bella will be safe. Victoria will have ran off scared somewhere, not wanting to attack a coven of our size'. Well she didn't, did she? Nope. I told you she would be back. I told you to deal with her before it got out of hand, and you didn't listen."

"That's not tr-" I cut him off before he went into his rant, clicking the phone on loud speaker.

"Eddie boy, slow yourself down. I think Bella should hear this too." Holding the phone in one hand and continuing to drive down the highway, Bella's heart rate began to pick up, beating fast and faster as she processed what I had just said.

"Bella?" Edward's voice sounded, a whisper of relief. "Has he hurt you?" Bella looked at me as her emotions flickered between lying and telling the truth. That was interesting. She was actually considering lying to Edward that she hadn't been hurt. Why?

"I'm okay. I'm not hurt. A little scared, but I'm okay," she choked out in a sob as her eyes stayed fixed on me. "Jasper's been feeding me and such." Well, that shocked me. Its seems like Bella is just full of these little surprises.

"Cut the chit chat. So come on, Eddie, tell Bella what you said about taking care of Victoria. I'm sure she wants to know." Bella took a few deep breaths awaiting Edward's answer.

"Whatever he tells you, its not true, Bella. Your safety is the most important thing in the world to me." Unable to stop the snort, I sent Bella a little dash of courage, wanting her to push this more.

"What did you say, Edward?" she croaked out.

"I was keeping an eye on it. I tracked Victoria when we were apart to make sure she wasn't anywhere near you, and when I came back, Alice was keeping a look out." Edward sighed down the phone, making me smile at the small rage that was building up in Bella.

"So you chose not to take care of Victoria?" Bella demanded.

"Bella, please calm down. This is just what Jasper wants. Let's not give him what he wants," Edward pleaded to Bella.

"Give him what he wants? He wants me dead, Edward. Did Jasper tell you to take care of Victoria and you just brushed it aside?" Her tears were flowing freely now, but her determination was unmoving. "Did you?"

"Yes," he sighed, and I could almost see him raking his hand through his hair as he realised that she was seeing his bad move. "Bella, I will find you."

"I doubt that very much, Edward. You have no idea where I am or where I am headed. Have fun looking, though." With that, I clicked the phone shut and turned it off.

Throwing the phone on the dash board, I listened to the sound of Bella crying and whimpering in pain as she moved her shoulder. Strangely, I didn't feel as good as I thought I would after Edward's phone call. Somehow, I was actually starting to feel a little sorry for Bella. Seeing her crying over Edward's deceit struck a cord in me. Despite what I thought about her or how much I blamed her for everything, I could relate to the betrayal she felt from Edward's move. Her emotions were all over the place, flickering around while she processed her information from Edward. She tried to be determined, to believe what Edward had said about giving me what I want, but she couldn't shake off the feeling of deceit that everything that had just transpired was true.

She was angry with herself for never pushing it, for not talking to Alice about it more. She was broken hearted over Edward's dis-mission of Victoria over her safety; she felt more than betrayed by him on that note. Somewhere or somehow, she felt a tiny bit of gratitude towards me for bringing this to her attention. That tiny emotion seemed a little strange and left me feeling a little confused. Yes, I had pointed out some key facts to her, but why should she feel this gratitude towards me, the now human drinking vampire that has kidnapped her, dislocated her shoulder, and dragged her half way across the country. I could understand Edward's frustration more now over not being able to read her mind.

While I had a far better idea of what she was thinking due to her emotions, I was still completely in the dark as to how she came to that emotion. Questions still lingered in my head, and it seemed with each passing day, the list was growing. Why did she stay last night when she had the chance to go? Why did she take it upon herself to wear my clothing? I'll never be able to wear that now. Why did she lie to Edward and tell her she was fine and hadn't been hurt when that wasn't true? And now, the latest one. Why was she feeling this gratitude towards me?

"Can we stop and get something to eat, please?" Turning my head to look her, I saw the deep red colouring under her eyes from the tears she had shed. She seemed to hold nothing but an understanding in her eyes, which unnerved me slightly. "We can keep moving, just go through a drive thru or something."

"Sure."

Twenty minutes later, we were parked up in a car park while Bella consumed her nasty smelling meal. A small giggle rang its way through the car as I looked out of the window. Ignoring her noises, I continued to stare at the sky, noticing the clouds begin to part.

"Does it smell that bad to you?" Bella asked.

Turning my head slightly, I snorted before adding, "You wouldn't believe how bad that smells to me."

"Would it be a bit like how dog shit smells to humans?" Her comment shocked me slightly and made me chuckle.

"Yeah, I guess that could be a fair way to describe it." Her curiosity spiked as I answered. Rolling my eyes at her, I continued. "You think dog shit smells bad to you, you should try smelling it as a vampire. Great sense of smell has its down side, you know."

"Is that why you bought me deodorant and made me shower, so you don't have to smell BO?" she chuckled out.

"Bingo. No one wants to smell that, especially not me." Bella grinned at me and sighed while wiping her hands on a napkin. "Enjoy that?"

"Yeah, it was good. Is there anything you miss about human food, Jasper?" she asked while taking a sip of her coffee.

"It was too long ago to actually remember much of what human food tasted like," I answered. Taking the note that she was open to questions, I figured now was a good time to try and gain some answers over her actions. "Why did you lie to Edward, Bella?"

"Because I wanted to know his answer to Victoria," she sighed and turned her body in the chair, resting her back against the window. "Did you really tell Edward to take care of Victoria before it got out of hand?"

"I'm asking the questions, Bella." Surprisingly, she smirked at me.

"I figured if you're asking questions for answers, it's only fair you answer some of mine."

"Fine. Yes, I did. More than once as well." Bella looked at me, a little shocked, and chewed her bottom lip.

"Why?" she asked, confused as to why I would have done that.

"I didn't do it for you, well, not really," I answered as I turned my face away from her and looked up at the sky clearing away the clouds. "I did it to protect my family, Bella. I knew Victoria wouldn't give up that easily, or the fact that the size of the family would stop her. There are always ways of attacking a coven of this size as you saw. She created an army; she could have gathered up other vampires. Its not uncommon to know a handful of vampires, even if you're a nomad. But Edward was sure that Alice would see if anything was going to come our way and refused to take matters into his own hands and deal with her right away."

"Why would he do that? That...That doesn't make any sense to leave her to regroup and plan an attack." Smirking at her answer, I couldn't help but think maybe she wasn't as dumb as I had written her off to be.

"Its Edward, Bella. The self-righteous bastard thinks he knows best, and of course he made it a known fact in the house that it was his problem and he would deal with it as he saw fit."

"Thank you, Jasper. I know you hate me, but I am thankful you showed me this." Well, that explains the gratitude then.

"Why are you wearing my hoodie?" I asked, wanting to turn the conversation away from me.

"I was cold. The heating wasn't great in that motel. Sorry, I should have asked." The sincerity in her voice made me shrug and brush it off. "You didn't exactly pack me any clothes other than a pair of jeans and flip flops."

"I didn't exactly plan on keeping you alive this long, Bella." Her face fell slightly as disappointment ran through her.

"Are you still planing on killing me?" she asked in a pitiful voice.

I didn't answer. In truth, I didn't know what I was going to do with her now. My plan had all but crumbled and now I had to make new decisions. Somehow this stupid, danger fucking magnet of a human had left me completely fucking confused about my plans. That pissed me off. I wasn't used to being thrown off balance and not knowing what to do. I liked to be in control and to know what I was doing.

Bella's eyes were fixed firmly on me in a now uncomfortable silence. Out the corner of my eye, I could see her waiting with some patience for my answer, yet as the time ticked by, she grew more and more irritated that I had to answer her. What did she expect me to say? 'I have no fucking idea, I'm hoping that you'll fall off the face of the earth and get out my life once and for all?' Maybe the fact that I had lost all fight in me would be a justified answer, though knowing Bella, she would ask questions. Edward had stated that she wasn't nosy, she just liked to know stuff and besides, she had a way of figuring things out for herself. If he was right in that little statement, it wouldn't take her long to figure out that my fight had gone and I was completely lost on what I was going to do next.

A sharp intake of breath from Bella, followed a sharp burst of sincerity, made me turn my head to look at her. "I'm sorry, Jasper. For what I said yesterday...about not telling you because of the past history between us. It wasn't true, but I was angry and hurt, among other things, and I just wanted you to hurt." I stared at her as she spoke, feeling her emotions of truth come through. She was sorry, and hadn't meant it, but it didn't take it back. You can't undo what say or do that easily, if at all.

"You didn't deserve that, no matter what has happened between us in the last few days. I know firsthand just how much one person's lie can hurt so bad. I want to try and make peace with you, Jasper, and to try and talk to you. I guess that's why I stayed last night," she said thoughtfully. "I saw the keys, and to be honest, I did think about leaving and running back home, or at least calling Edward, but I didn't. I needed to, no, wanted to, tell you I didn't mean it and that I was sorry. Maybe...well, I don't know, but maybe we could talk about it? You know, Alice and everything...if you want to."

"And why would I want to talk to you about it?" I asked in rather a defeated tone.

"Because you're not much different than I am. Yeah you're a vampire, but you still feel things, you more so than anyone. And if it helps us heal when we talk about it and release some of those feelings, then surely the same has to apply for you." Carefully and cautiously, Bella moved her arm slowly towards me until her hand was was resting on my arm again. Even through the texture of my clothing, I could feel the heat off her skin on my my arm. She gently squeezed my arm and pulled her hand back, for which I was grateful for. "whenever you're ready, Jasper, I'm here."

"Are you clinically insane?" My harsh tone and words took Bella by surprise. Her eyes grew wide as she looked at me. "Well? Here you are, sitting in a car with a vampire. A vampire who, a few days ago, kidnapped you and planned to kill you, I might add, and you sit there trying to get me to talk! Are you completely and utterly retarded or did it happen over time?"

"I just...you know what, Jasper? Fuck you." Her voice held so much conviction that I was actually surprised by it. "Why do you do this? You talk and you actually seem like we could get through this without it ending my life. You are able to laugh and joke with me, but then you switch and act like you're some bad ass vampire!" Bella screamed at me in frustration, rocking my own anger. "I'm not saying you're not. Hell, I remember the story you told me, your life before Alice. There's no doubt in my mind that you're not as deadly as you look, because I know you are. But, I also know that the caring vampire that sits on the sidelines in the family, never fully in the group. You're choosing to act like nothing short of an asshole!" Stunned into silence for a minute, my mouth opened and closed like a goldfish.

"You know nothing about me, Bella!" I seethed at her, making her flinch, but she didn't back down.

"Well, enlighten me then," she demanded. Even though I could feel her fear in this, provoking a vampire wasn't the smartest of moves and even though she knew this, I could also sense her determination on it.

"How the hell did Edward actually not cave on the whole sex subject? You just keep pushing and pushing!" I growled out, mostly to myself but loud enough for her to hear. The trickle of smugness seeped into her emotions. Not a lot, but enough that she felt as though she was winning this battle.

"What does that have to do with what we are talking about now?" she asked, before adding quietly, "Maybe it's because you're not getting any." My vampire hearing heard her perfectly clear.

Smiling, I cocked an eyebrow at her. "Well that makes two of us then, doesn't it?" I pointed out. "At least I ain't dying a virgin." Bella's mouth dropped open as shock ripped out of her. Smirking at her sudden display of innocence, I watched as she slowly pulled herself back together.

"Edward always said it was too dangerous," she mumbled, letting out her pain of rejection.

I could understand her feeling of rejection by someone you love. Though, I couldn't understand why Edward had made her feel that way. Sure, having sex with a vampire was a little dangerous, but not completely uncommon. It certainly wasn't impossible for it to happen, and clearly Bella had thrown herself at Edward on more than one occasion in the bedroom, only to be shot down by him. Was he insane too? Maybe I had it all wrong and they were suited for each other... both insane! What man, albeit human or vampire, continually rejects their partner over sex? Bella was pretty, beautiful even, and there didn't seem anything wrong with her. Sure, she wasn't going to win an award for being drop dead gorgeous, but she was still pretty. From what I could tell, she didn't seem to be horribly scarred in anyway, not like me.

"I understand his reasons, though. He's right. He could kill me if we became...like that." She flushed with embarrassment, turning her face bright red.

Turning more to face her, I leaned my back against the window in the car and sighed. "Did you get any sort of release?"

Bella looked down at her lap. "I'm not shy to explore my body on my own."

"That's not what I meant, Bella." The thought suddenly struck me that somehow she had won this battle, and instead of me planning to kill her, I was sitting here talking to her. _Fucking bitch!_

__"As in touch me or something? No, Edward won't even open his mouth to kiss me." Damn, was Edward gay?

"Not once? Are you seriously telling me that the only sort of session you two ever had was a closed mouthed kiss?" We all know that Eddie wasn't willing to put out, but we had assumed that he was at least doing something a little more than five year old kisses in the play ground.

"Teeth too sharp," she again mumbled.

"They are. But still, you don't go running your tongue over teeth. Did he have an excuse for everything?" I asked. "No, wait, I already know the answer to that."

"It was one the things I wanted before being turned, and his answer was we would try. And yeah, I got a few buttons undone on his shirt before he stopped playing." Bella's embarrassment was up ten fold, yet she didn't let off the feeling of wanting to stop her ramblings. And to be honest, I didn't want her to. There were hours of endless material to take the piss out of Edward, and Emmett would have countless hours of fun with him over this. "Jasper? Can I ask you something, and despite your hatred for me, could you answer me honestly?"

"I can try," I answered as she nodded her head.

Taking a few deep breaths, she looked at her lap while focusing hard on how she was going to say whatever it was she wanted to say. "Am I just not desirable enough for him to want to have sex with me? Not sexy enough or something?"

Well I wasn't expecting that question, though I guess I should have been expecting it, giving the nature of the topic we were on. Bella finally looked up and me, her brown eyes pleading with me to give her an honest answer, yet I wasn't sure how I should answer it. I had never once thought about fucking Bella, though that wasn't really what she was asking, was it? "There's nothing wrong with you, Bella." Bella continued to stare at me, waiting for more. I guess I didn't exactly answer her question, did it?

"But there must be!" Bella screamed in frustration. "You said it yourself! I push things, and I do. I went on and on at Edward over it, but he never backed down or gave in or anything. Hell, the only reason he agreed to change me was if I got married to him."

"And that's not what you want?"

"NO! I'm eighteen, and while I love him, I don't see why I should have to marry him in order to prove something. Surely asking to be turned into a vampire is more than enough commitment! Jesus, it's past what most people would do." She had a point there. It struck me funny that Edward had laid down this rule before changing her.

Sure, I had made claim of the fact that if they weren't real mates, Edward wouldn't have waited over it or dragged his heels if they were, and I still believe that. Yet, what shocked me more was finding out that Edward was almost pushing her into something she clearly didn't want before he changed her. Maybe I was too old to understand this, but was marriage meant to be done by two people who wanted the same thing? Bella was right in what she was saying. Here she was, willing to change into the living dead, pass up any chance of becoming a mother and living a natural life, just so she could be with Edward forever. That was a big enough commitment; marriage could have waited. Sure, she would be frozen in time, always looking eighteen and never looking older, and while she would always carry that eighteen year old mentality, she would become wise in time and her mind would grow. In ten years time, Bella could easily be ready for marriage and have no hold backs on actually doing it. Really, what was Edward's driving reason to want her to do it now, before he changes her?

Bella began to cry almost painfully next to me. Her emotions had become nothing more than almost crippling to me, and I felt sorry for her. While I hated her for what she had done and the damage she had caused me and my family, I couldn't help but feel as though Edward had been manipulating her and controlling her more so than I had once thought. The family had picked up on it, his almost demanding of what she should do, or go, and see, and who not to see. Sure, we were protective of our mates and didn't like it when they went somewhere we didn't want them to go, but to actually demand that she stay put just to appease him was wrong. Was Bella that blind that she didn't see his controlling ways? Maybe not blind, just a little dumb and naive. She was only eighteen, and while she could take care of herself and her father, and surpass a lot of others her own age, she was still a little girl, really.

Then again, Edward's experience with love was just the same as hers, which was nothing. It could easily be said that he was just as blind as she was and therefore didn't really know what he was doing, but at 109, you would have thought that somewhere, somehow, in all that time, he would have picked up how relationships work. Fuck, he lived in a house with three mated couples. He could read all our minds, so how the hell could he have got it all wrong? The era in which he was born, maybe that played a part in it. The idea that a woman is controlled and told what to do by her husband rather than having an equal relationship. Yet, I was from an older era than he was, and it wasn't the case for me. Then again, me and Edward had very different lives as humans.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN/ Sorry it took so long to get an update out. What with Christmas and everything, I lost complete track of time. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I am in the middle of writing the next chapter. So all being well, it shouldn't be long until I update again. **

**Thanks to my girls for holding my hand and telling me it didn't complete suck. I owe you girls!**

* * *

Silence had once again fallen between us as we cruised down the highway. I knew Bella wanted to talk; she wanted to ask things and gain answers, yet she needed to process everything that had just transpired between us. Being perfectly honest, I didn't think I could handle anymore of Bella's questioning just yet, or any heavy questions. I needed to sort through my own shit, work it all out and try and figure out what I was going to do now. All I had wanted to do since Alice's death was kill Bella, take my revenge, and deal with whatever the aftermath may bring. But now? Now, I wasn't so sure. In fact, I didn't think I could kill her and not be racked with guilt for it.

_So, just what are you going to do with the human now?_

The same question had gone round and round my head. I could think of more than one thing at once, process things faster than a normal human brain, hell, I could even organise an army for battle. Yet, I couldn't get past this one question. I could send her back home, back to Edward and the family. But, I didn't want Edward to have his mate back. He was to blame in this too. I knew this. Deep down, the voice of reason was slowly making itself known that Edward was just as much, if not more, to blame for this mess than Bella. The major, the god of fucking war, took the coward's way to extract his revenge; he went for the human.

Edward should really have been the one I focused my energy on. My anger and hatred should have gone towards him and not the helpless fucking human. At least it would have been level footing. Frustration began to creep its way through me at a record pace. _Alice. _Alice would be destroyed if she knew what I was doing, thinking, or even planing. I did all of this extract revenge for her, yet Alice wouldn't hold Bella to blame. Hell, she wouldn't even hold Eddie boy to blame.

_Why didn't she tell me?_

Everything was so confusing! I should have just killed Bella that night in her bedroom. Dragging her off was a bad move; the longer she was here, the more she talked and the more I seemed to calm down. Calming down was the last thing I wanted to do. Letting go of my anger at Bella would only force me to deal with the loss I had suffered, which was something I wasn't ready for or even sure I could handle. Alice was everything to me. She was my life. My tiny ball of uncontrollable energy was my all. Without her in my life now, what else was there? She knew me inside and out, she always stood by me, through every slip up, every fuck up and every time we had to move because of me. She was always beside me. When the family hated me, became disappointed in me through my problem of controlling my hunger, she was the only one that never showed anything but love and support towards me. How could I continue on this life, this long life, on my own?

"Jasper? Maybe we should sit and talk," her words cut through my thoughts.

"About what?"_ Please don't start on the questions about your life!_ I pleaded inwardly. That was still being worked out, well, more so I couldn't decide what to do with her.

"Your gift." Looking at her for a minute, I wondered if she was serious. Her eyes were pleading with me, wanting to talk about something other than what had transpired.

"What about it?" I asked in a stern voice, wanting to get this over and done with as quickly as possible so she would go back to mulling everything over again. "You know how it works. I'm pretty sure that Alice or at the very least Edward, has told you about it."

"Yeah, Alice told me more than Edward." Bella looked out of the window at the blurred scenery that flew past the window. "You can feel and control all emotions, right?"

"Yep," I answered. "What about it?"

"So...I was wondering two things," Bella admitted, slightly embarrassed. I already knew what one question was gonna be. It was the same question that most people asked once they learned about my gift. "Can you make...um..you know...just with emotion alone?" By the time she had finished stuttering her way throughout the question, she was bright red.

Unable to stop myself, I chuckled and smirked as I said, "Make a girl cum without touching them, you mean?" Bella's face burned bright red with embarrassment as she nodded.

"Of course I can."

Bella's head snapped up and turned to look at me, a mixture of awe, excitement, bewilderment, and shock ran off her. "Really? You don't even need to touch them? At all?" Rolling my eyes at her, I once again wondered why this little piece of information was so exciting to people. Where was the fun for me if I wasn't actually taking part in the woman getting off?

"Not even a finger," I answered, rather bored.

"Jasper? Did you ever get sexually frustrated when me and Edward were in the house? I take it you could feel what was coming from the room?" The sudden boldness of her question took her by surprise and she blushed again.

"Yes, more than once." Bella's eyes grew wide, and I asked, "Was there a point to that question or not?"

"Didn't you ever think to help him? You know, send him a boost of lust or something?"

"You really think that would have helped?" I asked, looking at her as she nodded. "Well, it didn't. More than once he got a boost of it, plus a load of images and he still never sealed the deal. Bella, he lived with Emmett! Do you know how often sex is on his mind?"

"So he never wanted me, then," Bella mumbled to herself.

"You're a human and he's a vampire. What did you really expect? Rainbows, little white fluffy bunnies? Chocolates in red, heart shaped boxes? Roses sent daily? He's at the top of the food chain, and you," my hand gestured towards her as the tears filled her eyes once more, "You're somewhere near the bottom. Sorry to break it to ya."

"Why? Why did he do these things, Jasper?" She looked at me, expecting me to have all the answers - answers I didn't have. I wasn't Edward and didn't know what went on in that weird twisted head of his.

"Beats me." The tears spilled, rolling over her lids and down her cheeks. "Look, I am sorry that you found out that Edward was just a complete ass, and while I don't agree with how he treated you, I can't help but think you had it coming. You went out of your own species to find love. Love with a vampire. Come on, Bella! Do you not know the basic rules of vampires?"

"Well, sorry Mr. Know It All! I lost the book on Vampires 101!" she screamed at me, making me chuckle.

"Basic shit, Bella. Fucking basic shit, like vampires feed on blood. They just want blood and they normally look at humans to get it. Humans tend to run a mile when they realise what we are, but you? You ran towards us. Do you not have the basic instinct of survival?" The waves of pain and desperation coming off Bella were intense. I was hitting raw nerves and basking in the emotions she was sending.

"He said he wouldn't hurt me. He said he would protect me and keep me safe. He said -" I couldn't take another 'he said' line and cut in.

"Yeah, well, he did hurt you, didn't he? Just what did he say to you when he left?" I cocked an eyebrow at her, unable to remove the slightly smug smirk off my face. "What's the matter, Bella? Not gonna tell the bad vampire what he said? You don't need to. I have a pretty good idea what he said."

"You have no idea what he said. I never said anything, not even to Alice, so shut up!" The courage was back again, in a short sharp burst before going again.

"See, that's where you're wrong. It's pretty easy to figure out. I read your emotions when we picked you up from the airport on your return, and for a good few weeks after the event itself, your emotions were pretty much the same. You waiting for him to leave, waiting for him to hit you again with rejection, worthlessness, and and just plain not good enough. Take that into account and how he acted, along with his feelings, and the blanks become clear." Bella looked at me for a few seconds before screwing her eyes up and shaking her head.

"No one took it upon themselves to sort it out, then?" It was more mumbled to herself then to me, but I couldn't help the smug grin that spread across my lips.

Pulling over onto the hard shoulder, I turned myself to look at a rather distraught looking Bella. "See, this is my point at the whole mates thing. Bella, do you know anything about mated vampires?" I looked at her, awaiting her answer, again silently cursing the little fucking bitch for making me talk...again. She shook her head at me, and displeasure ran through me. How the fuck was he actually going to do this again? He had the perfect chance to explain everything, our laws, how we are, everything to her and yet he didn't inform her of what it's like to mate.

"Okay, a mated vampire will do anything to protect his or her mate. If they, for one second, felt that their mate was in danger by another vampire, they would remove the problem before it could grow. Bella, we will kill, hunt, destroy, and damn well cause complete fucking mayhem to protect our mates. If it had been Alice that Victoria had her eyes on, she wouldn't have lived to see the next sunrise. Mating is an instinct, built inside of us. It makes us animalistic; it's there form day one of finding our mates. For any other mated vampire male in the world, their beasts would have come out to play and they would have made sure that their mate was safe and sound before they could even begin to worry about it. Again, another reason why I highly doubt you two were mates."

"But...I mean...why?" She stumbled and mumbled with her emotions running wild throughout her.

"Because we just do. Victoria wasn't coming for Alice, or Rose, or even Esme. She was coming for you and you alone." _Is it possible for a vampire to get tired? _Fuck, how many more times would I have to point everything out to her?

"So, it was up to Edward to take of the problem as he was my mate?"

"Bingo! Give the girl a prize for getting some of it right," I smirked out. "But, you weren't mates, so that thought never entered his head. Now, have we finished this little chit chat?"

"None of it makes sense, Jasper. I don't..." She trailed off and looked at me as if I would help her out here.

"You don't what? Understand?" I asked.

"Yes!" She cried out. "I understand what you're saying, but I don't understand how it fits with Edward and me. I mean, you didn't see what it did to me, to us, to be apart. Surely that..."she never finished the end of her sentence as she saw me shaking my head.

"Think about it, really think about. Use that little brain in there. You were a toy for the boy; he missed the china doll effect you had. And as for you? Well, you're just plain fucked in the head." Bella's mouth dropped open at my choice of words. "Bella, you were in love with the idea of being different in your plain, old boring little life. Suddenly no longer having a vampire as your boyfriend made you normal and once again, boring."

I couldn't help but smile as Bella crashed me hard with her emotions. Her pain and suffering over her poor heart. The realisation that maybe I was right in what I was saying was crushing her emotional walls hard. I was basking in it. One of the things I had always liked about Bella was how she felt. It was never half hearted, it was always full on and intense. Every part of her felt that feeling and she believed her feelings to her very core. For me? It was heaven.

Time passed on as we continued to place as much distance between us and Edward. Bella didn't fail in her emotions with me. Though she had long since stopped talking to me, she went through a wide range of feelings. Feelings for Edward, feelings for herself, and feelings for me. The ones surrounding me, whenever she turned to blame for everything, were slowly shifting. Yes, the hatred was there, but now we were having the odd bit of truthfulness running through that hate. She knew I was right. Realising that I was right brought on a fresh wave of tears while her little heart broke just that fraction more. Of course, it would help a hell of a lot more if she could actually see that she didn't want Edward the way she had thought, and that what she felt wasn't actually the love she had claimed it to be.

My phone had vibrated countless times, no doubt Edward calling, or one of the family, but it went unanswered. Bella had even stopped looking at it and me when it rang; she clearly didn't want to talk to him, or had nothing to say yet. Either way, it made me happy not to have to deal with the little child on that subject. With any luck, we could continue to drive through the night and it be rather pleasant. Well, as pleasant as it possibly could get. Unfortunately for me, I grew bored and decided to play nice for a while.

"So, human experiences?" I asked her as the sun began to set.

"What?" Shock rolled off her in waves. She hadn't be expecting me to ask her a direct question.

"Human experiences. What are they?" I asked while turning my head to the side slightly and looking at her. "I know you'll die a virgin, but what else will be missing off that list?"

"What's it to you?" She snapped, making me chuckle.

"Where is the nice little Bella gone? The one that follows Edward around like a little lost puppy and does everything he says?" I smirked out at her. "It's almost like since you've been with me, you've turned into this snappy little bitch that has a small backbone."

"You piss me off." An honest answer from her. There was no lie through her words, I truly did piss her off. _Good! _

"See, this Bella I actually like. You and Rose might have even got along if you had been more like this and not the 'yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir' crap you pull." I stated honestly at her. Bella seemed to chew it over for a few seconds, trying to understand my words.

It is true, I would have liked her more like this than the silly little girl Edward brought home. Sure, I would have never been her biggest fan, I still would find her annoying, but at least she would show more about her than nothingness. Same goes for Rose. Stand your ground with her and she is likely to accept you if you don't back away from her. Coming back time and time again with the nice hello and goodbyes wouldn't win you any prizes with her. Bitched her out and you stood a chance of some form of friendship.

"You would have actually liked me? Why? What's wrong with how I normally am?"

"Because its boring and so sheep like. You are not making your mind up on anything," I stated. "You know, men actually enjoy a challenging woman, not someone who will conpletely submit to their whims and demands all the time. Yes, it's nice, but so is a challenge. A woman who knows her mind is a turn on to a lot of men, Bella." Bella glared at me intensely. Her emotions were swimming around and jumping for one thing to the next, before settling on confusion.

The poor little human girl was confused. _Well shit. _

"What the hell does that have to do with me and Edward being mates?" She questioned at me with fear slowly starting to seep out of her.

"Everything and nothing all in one perfectly placed little package." Her confusion went tenfold at my comment. _Did that really only make sense to me? _"Let's go to a bar tonight. You can sleep while I drive later. How's that sound?"

"What? You...You...Argh!" She screamed at me, making me chuckle at her antics and her mixture of emotions. "I'm not old enough."

"Look around, we are in the back end of beyonder and I can pretty much say that they won't give a fuck," I grinned. "Besides, I am."

"No, you're not."

"Am too, my ID says so."

"Edward would never allow it." Oh please! We can't seriously be pulling this card.

"Dickward isn't here, Bella. It's just you and me." Bella let out a frustrated groan at my words. "Fucking awesome, isn't it?"

"I don't want to go!" She demanded at me.

"You don't have a choice in the matter, Bella." And she didn't. She could kick and scream like a child being dragged to their grandparents' when they would sooner be playing on their Xbox, or she could suck it up and be a grown up. Either way, she was going.

"I hate you!" She snapped at me, making me laugh.

"You're not my favourite person either, bitch." Shock flooded her and then hit me full force. Her mouth dropped open and hung there, catching flies. "What? Did you think I would have another name for the woman who killed my mate?"

"Go to fucking hell!"

"I sure as hell hope they do fuck there," I grinned at her, purposely winding her up even more. "Bella, lighten up! Look at it this way, you are getting all those human experiences Edward wanted you to get before you died. Only, you won't be joining the vampire race with your death. Instead, you'll be six feet under."

XXXXX

An hour and some bitching later, we pulled into the parking lot of a bar. It was rough looking, and certainly somewhere that Chief Swan wouldn't want his daughter; it was perfect. Cutting the engine, I looked around at the battered trucks and cars in the lot, noticing some slightly scary looking inbreeds that were lingering around the rolled off Bella as she looked around the lot and then saw the bar. I could feel her trying to think of something, anything, to get out of going in there. Hard luck she was having, because we were going in and Bella was going to get drunk. I had the perfect idea to wind Dickward up and I was not passing up this chance to have fun.

"Your car will get nicked," Bella whispered while looking at me with tears in her eyes.

Shrugging, I opened the car door and walked slowly around the front of the car, all the while smiling. Opening her door, I offered my hand to help her out. If anything, I was still a gentleman underneath. Bella looked at my hand and then back at me, before shaking her head.

"Two choices. Get out the fucking car of your own free will? Or, I will drag you out. Which is it?" I kept my voice low and hard, letting her know that I wasn't playing around. We were going in, regardless.

"Fuck you, Jasper Hale!"

"If you're offering, sugar," I smirked out. "It's Whitlock, by the way."

"I don't give a shit!" She screamed in my face. Her warm breath fanned my face as she screamed; she had gotten a little too close and she was suddenly releasing it. My face stayed hard, staring back at her as her eyes swept around. She could stand her ground with me, or return to the sheep following Bella that Edward loved. Either way, she was shitting herself being this close to me.

"You're scared, unsure if you should pull back or stand your ground with me. Edward wouldn't like you being this close to the nasty vampire." By then, I had moved my face closer to the point where the tip of my nose was touching hers. I was baiting her, wanting her to stand her ground with me, yet she couldn't make her mind up.

"Edward would never..." She began, her voice wavering as she spoke, but nonetheless, she stayed still. "Treat me the way you are treating me!"

"Oh no! Really? You mean he won't let you do anything for yourself in case you fall down and cut your knee?" I chuckled out. "News flash, fucking fall down, cut your knee and you'll be dead within seconds. Now, get out the fucking car!"

Her fear won out. Huffing at me, she sat back in the chair and closed her eyes. Looking around, I checked to see if we were being watched. Noticing that all was clear, I grabbed her wrist and pulled her out the car before she could blink.

"Walk," I instructed while pulling her arm, more or less dragging her along with me. The closer we got to the door, the closer Bella got to me. By the time we reached the door, Bella had wrapped her arms around my arm, figuring I was the safest bet then walking it alone. She was right, I was.

"Jasper...please..." She whispered in my ear.

Ignoring her, I pushed the door open and walked into the bar. I paid no attention to the looks we received; the chances were I screamed 'don't fucking mess with me'. Standing at the bar, I noticed the men take a good long look at Bella. Unfortunately, so did she. The grip on my arm got tighter, and if I had of been human, there would be marks come the morning. She was gripping that tight. The levels of lust had spiked since we walked in, and it was surprising. Half the women in here looked more butch then the men did. Seeing a seventeen year old, who was pretty, but stunning compared to the women in here, was enough to make any guy want to fuck it.

Ordering two beers and two rum and cokes, Bella gulped, making me chuckle. "You will drink and you will let your hair down, understand?" I whispered in her ear. She nodded in response, too scared to do anything else. "Good. Follow me."

Walking my way through the bar, I found us somewhere to sit. Bella quickly sat and tried to hide herself, almost blend into the walls here, while I kicked back and enjoyed the different emotions and the atmosphere of the bar. It had been too long since I last went into last time I went into one was to pick up my next meal. _Hmm, now there's a thought. _

"Drink it, Bella."

"Edward..." I never gave her chance to finish whatever gibberish she was going to spew about Edward.

"Is Edward here?" I asked. She shook her head at me. "So, drink. I promise not to tell a living a soul." I was half truthful in my statement; they wouldn't actually be living, who I was going to tell.

I watched as Bella knocked back the first rum and coke in one gulp, coughing slightly as the liquid burned her throat on the way down. Smirking, I pushed the other rum and coke in front of her, urging her to drink. There was no need to pretend or take it slow. I wasn't gonna drink it and I didn't care how quickly she got drunk, just as long as it had the desired effect. Again, she knocked it back, making me chuckle as she coughed again.

"Like it?" I asked, not that I could actually remember what Rum tasted like. I do, however, remember liking it myself as a human. The actual taste was completely lost to me now.

"Yeah, it's not bad. It burns going down, though," she answered with her cheeks flushing slightly.

"Yep, I remember. Beer?" I pushed one bottle to her and began playing with the second. "Don't knock it completely back, okay?" I watched as she took a sip of it and screwed up her face.

"That tastes nasty."

"Just drink it," I shot back, giving her no room to argue.

Soon enough, Bella's emotions started to shift out of focus. Her body had relaxed and was no longer on edge, her cheeks were flushed pink, with a silly grin on her face. Bella Swan was well on her way to being shitfaced. Of course, the sensible thing for me to do would be to take her out of the bar and let her sleep it off. What I did do was continue to supply her with more rum and coke. My plan to piss Dickward off was working nicely. I just needed Bella to do something for me first to make it complete.

Heading to the bar again, I kept an eye on Bella as she smiled and waved at the inbreeds, telling them they looked funny to her and would be well suited in a freak show. Her remarks where gaining her a few angry stares from the so called inbreeds, but thankfully for her, no one dared step too close with me around. They maybe inbred, but they had the intelligence to realise that I was deadly and at the top of the food chain, unlike Bella. Making my way over to the juke box, I looked over the selection of songs they had to offer, before picking a handful and walking back to Bella.

The music soon began to fill the bar, making Bella begin to dance in her seat. When I chuckled at her actions, Bella poked her tongue out at me and knocked back her rum and coke. Pushing a boost of confidence her way, I lent forward and rested my elbows on the table. "Why don't you go dance, Bella?"

"Here? Now? Where?" Excitement ran its way throughout her as her eyes lit up.

"On the table, Bella." Bella went to get on the table, but I stopped her. "Wait, just let the next song come on," I smirked and pushed a bit of trust her way. She nodded like a happy puppy getting excited over her dinner bowl being picked up. Unfortunately for Bella, I had picked out something that Edward certainly wouldn't approve of, but the men in here sure will. Notorious B.I.G's Nasty Girl, filled the bar. "Up then."

Like a flash Bella was up on the table. Surprisingly, drunk Bella actually meant she could stand up and not fall over. Losing herself to the music, Bella began to dance along to the song, winding herself up and down on the table. Pretty soon, Bella started to think she was giving some kind of lap dance and had completely forgotten that we were in a bar and I was planning on killing her. She seemed to have set her sights solely on me, and was hitting me with enough lust to almost make me want to fuck her. Taking out my phone, I began to video Bella as she pulled her Tee off her head and beagn dancing with just her bra and jeans.

"Look at me, Bella," I purred to her seductively. Bella looked down at me, her eyes hooded with alcohol and lust. "That's it, show me what you got." Sucking her finger into her mouth to wet it, she ran it down the middle of her breasts. As she reached the top of her jeans, she suddenly dropped to her knees with her legs wide apart. The scent of her arousal hit my nose hard. I would be lying if I said it didn't effect me. I was a man after all.

"I'm horny," she slurred in a husky voice.

"I know," I replied while the scanning the room out the corner of my eyes.

"I need release, Jazz, badly." Bella moved on to her hands and knees and crawled slightly towards me. Her hair hanging all over her face with a perfect view of her tits. "Give me release, Jazz."

"Shouldn't you be asking Edward for that?" She was completely unaware of my phone filming her, or if she was, she wasn't paying it any attention.

"Edward has never made me cum, not once. I need to cum. I have needs that he could never fulfill. Make me cum." _Oh, this was good! _I wished I was there to see the look on Edwards face when he got this video.

"Get off the table and follow me."

"I'm a virgin," Bella suddenly told me. _Did she really think I was gonna fuck her? Horny I may be after that, but I was not desperate. _

"I know," I smirked and took her hand while picking up her Tee. "I'm not planning on fucking you."

Leading her to the car, I opened the back door and told her to get in and lie down. Closing the door, I walked around to the front of the car while bringing up Edward's cell number. Attaching the video of his perfect Bella never enough lap dancing for me, I entered a quick text of "enjoy" before sending it.

Chuckling to myself, I got in the car and turned to look at Bella. "No touching, Bella," I smirked as I hit her with a hard dose of lust and sexual desire. "Remember your question? You're about to find out if I was telling the truth."

Cranking up the volume, I hit her with every sexual feeling I could find. Images of my nights of raw passion with Alice filled my mind as I hit her again and again with the emotions. Bella was moaning loudly in the back on the car, her breath coming out in hard pants as she rubbed her thighs together to create some much needed friction. Beginning to feed off her own lust, I rolled it back to her stronger and stronger, pushing everything from want and need to love and desire.

"Fuck...please..." Bella cried out as her back arched off the seats.

I knew she was close to release; her body was hanging on the edge of the cliff waiting to go over. Her arousal filled the car as she became wetter and wetter. It attacked my nose, my senses began to scramble, and I couldn't work out if I wanted to fuck or feed right now. _Blood and sex mixed together. It's been a while._ I thought to myself, and it had. The Cullen's 'No feeding on humans' had sealed my games for the time being.

Knowing that I had to make her cum now or I was likely to give into my nature, I slammed her with everything I had, sending her flying over the edge. Bella's back arched as she screamed in delight. The vein in her neck pumped harder and faster as he body shook with her orgasm.

_'Thud, thud, thud. Blood, blood, blood. Sex, sex, sex.' _

It was all I could think about as she came down from her high. Her blood was rushing, making it even sweeter, and I knew if I was to drain her now, it would be fucking heaven. Fuck her and drain her at the same time? Now there is an idea. _Hmm, virgin tight. _Edward would have a mental break down over it, it could cause him to go insane and go on a rampage worse then what he was planning for doing that to his love.

I could feel the growl in my chest as my instincts kicked in. My eyes would be black now, focused on my prey, on that pumping vein in her neck. Bella wouldn't be any wiser, she would gladly welcome it. Her body was already worked up and would happily accept a good fucking while I drained her dry and put an end to my game.

"Jasper?" I heard Bella's voice, but didn't acknowledge it. I couldn't even if I wanted too. My eyes stayed trained on her, watching her move, all the while keeping an eye on me. "Jasper? Does your cock sparkle in the sun?" Bella asked as she brought the window down. "It's hot in here."

The cold night air attacked the inside of the car and with it brought a clearing in my mind. Shaking my head and snapping out of my thoughts, Bella stumbled around and rolled the rest of the windows down, complaining about being hot and wet. She didn't realise she had just saved her own life by opening the windows and clearing the car of her scent of both her blood and her arousal.

"What?" I asked after I regained control of myself.

"You sparkle in the sun. Does that mean your cock sparkles too?" I couldn't help but laugh as I took in her question as well as the look on her face. She looked so innocent with it, like she was asking the world's most natural question. Bella drunk certainly had no filter or limits.

"Did you enjoy that?" I asked, avoiding her question completely.

"Fuck yes!" She beamed as she picked up my hoodie and pulled it on. "I'm tired, though."

"I'm glad you enjoyed, at least you won't die having never experienced an orgasm that wasn't brought on by yourself." Bella laid back down and closed her eyes with a smile on her face.

"You never answered my question," she mumbled out half asleep.

"Maybe I don't want to."

"I promise I won't call it a disco stick," she giggled out.

"Nightie night, Bella." Sending a dose of lethargy to her, Bella feel asleep within seconds.

* * *

**Was it worth the wait? Still interested? **

**Reviews are always welcome :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN/ As promised, an update real quick. I am ahead of myself at the moment, so updates shouldn't be few and far between. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter.**

**Thank you to my beta for working her magic.**

* * *

"You really went and pushed all his buttons, Jazz," Rose chuckled out. "He's gonna fucking kill you." This time it was my turn to laugh.

"Kill me? Would love to see the boy try his luck there," I mocked. "What is he doing? Still with the family?"

Rose had called me within the hour of me and Bella being back on the road. Bella was flat out and snoring as we cruised down the highway towards a destination she didn't know of, and wouldn't know until we reached there. Edward had called me a handful of times since he received that video. All the times I answered, I laughed down the phone at him and his carry on. It wasn't my fault his girlfriend didn't want to ask him for release, now was it?

"Carlisle is keeping him at bay for now, but it's only by a thread. Edward wants to go running in all guns blazing, and Carlisle wants him to take time to think carefully about this," she sighed. "He's trying to protect his first born, if you will." Snorting at those words, I was filled with excitement at the thought of Edward just coming running at me.

Carlisle knew more about me than Edward did, even if he hadn't read my thoughts. Edward was not a fighter, he was unable to think and plan. If in a battle, he wouldn't last long. Sure, him being able to read minds helped him in battles, but that's about where it ended. I could plan my attack, knew when to hold in my instincts and wait, and when to run solely off them. Edward didn't. He ran solely off instincts that to anyone else, he might stand a chance. But against me? He was signing his death warrant.

"Carlisle won't be able to hold him back much longer; none of them know what they are doing, Rose. Carlisle doesn't do battle. All he does sit and talk and be civil. Let him send Edward. Let Edward try and find me." I couldn't help but grin. I was pretty sure that Rose knew where I was heading and I was also sure that she would protect my secret.

"It's hell, Jasper. The family is spitting down the middle." _Perfect._ "Its all so divided. Edward wants to get others involved. He wants to call Tanya and get Eleazar in on this. Jasper, this could turn nasty."

"Yeah it could, and while the risk of having Eleazar involved is slightly concerning with his attachment to the Volturi, Edward won't want to go that far. He is already under their eye with Bella." My eyes flickered to the rear-view mirror and took in Bella's sleeping form. "Where do you and Emmett lie in this, Rose?" There was no point in wasting time here, I may as well learn who stood where.

She sighed long and hard down the phone. "I am on your side. You know I don't care for the human, but Emmett..."she trailed off.

"... Is on Edward's side," I finished for her.

"You know how Emmett viewed the human. He wants her safe, and doesn't completely trust you with her. But," she sighed as though she was torn in this. I couldn't blame her, If she and Emmett were locking horns over this, it wasn't a fun place to be in. "He is sitting with me on this. His loyalty to me is winning out."

"Are you leaving the family?" I asked, wanting to know what everyone was planning on doing. It would serve me well to know what my family was planning, if it came down to a fight...which I was sure it would do.

"I don't know, Jasper," she sighed. I could hear the battle in her voice. "It's not our battle and we have talked about it, but...I just don't know."

"Don't place yourself where you don't wanna be, Rose. This will turn ugly whichever way I go," I replied as I came to a stop at the next gas station.

"Are you going to kill her?" She asked the same question that went around my head. I just didn't know anymore and that was the truth of it.

"I don't know. It was the plan."

"But plans change, huh?"

"They do. Besides, bitchy Bella is fun Bella." I couldn't help but grin and look back at her. "You two might even get on."

"Ha, fat chance of that ever happening." She snorted down the phone. "I have a good idea where you are heading, Jazz. It's safe."

"Thanks, Rose. I'll be in touch." Disconnecting the phone, I jumped out and filled the car up.

Heading into the store, I picked up some water and pain meds for Bella. I may not care for her life, but I certainly didn't want to hear her groaning with a hangover. In five minutes flat, I was back in the car and moving down the highroad.

XXXX

The sun was just starting to creep up over the horizon as I pulled off the main highway and onto a dirt road. Bella had been groaning for the last hour or so, tossing and turning on the back seat. I was anxious for her to wake up and see if she could remember anything from last night. If not, I had some nice video footage to jog her memory.

"Tell me you have water and something for the pain." She groaned out behind me.

"Well, good morning Bella." I grinned at her in the rear view mirror as she covered her eyes. "I have water and meds for your head. How you feeling?"

"Like fucking shit." She sat up and climbed over to the passenger seat. "What happened?"

"Water is in the bag in the foot well. And you don't remember?" I looked over at her as she dug out the water and meds from the bag and knocked two back.

"I do, but I want you to tell me it was a bad dream and it never happened."

"Oh no, it wasn't a dream. You got drunk, danced on the table with your tee shirt off and begged me for release. Which, you're welcome for by the way." Bella looked at me and blinked a few times before embarrassment shot through her. "No need to be embarrassed by it, I know I am good looking." I couldn't help but wiggle my eyebrows at her.

"Ass."

"I am that and a whole lot more, sugar," I chuckled as her cheeks turned pink. "Edward loved the video by the way. I never knew you had it in you! Such a dark horse. We should get you drunk more often."

"Bite me, Whitlock." She snapped back, making me chuckle.

"It's nice to see the bitch is still in play today. I wonder how long for?" I mused more to myself than to her. I knew that this hard act would all but disappear once we reached Peter and Charlotte's.

I could feel Bella's eyes on me, looking me up and down, filled with suspicion and interest. "Just ask, Bella."

"You changed? And your eyes...they're really red." I grinned and winked at her.

"I hunted when you were passed out." _And boy, was it good! _"I needed to change after it. I didn't fancy driving around in blood stained clothes that had been ripped from the girl."

"You fucked her and fed from her." It wasn't a question, more a statement that was mixed with the slightest feeling of jealously. "You wouldn't fuck me last night, but picked up some random girl. Thanks." Her words dripped with sarcasm and I couldn't fully understand where this was coming from.

Slamming the breaks on, the car skidded to a stop. Turning and looking at her, I saw the confusion written all over her face. "Do you realise just how close you came to that fate, Bella? Do you?" I screamed in her face. "I could have fucked you and had you scream my name in the back of the car, just before I sank my teeth into your neck! Is that what you wanted?"

"No...I just..."

"You just what? Last night, you were my prey. I was focused on what I wanted and what I was going to have, but you opened the windows. You cleared my mind long enough for me to regain control, so don't sit there and act like you were fucking rejected when you had your life god damn saved!" Not even giving her chance to respond, I threw the car into drive and took off down the road.

_Fucking bitch! She should be fucking thankful she is still alive!_

"Jasper...I...fuck. I didn't realise," Bella pleaded at me. I didn't even acknowledge her. As far as I was concerned, it was done with.

If this is how badly she felt, maybe I should have just thought _fuck it_ and fucked her to death. It would have solved the problem of what to do with her, fed me, and taken care of an itch, all at once. Now that I really thought about it, I should have just done it. Had she forgotten what this was all about? It wasn't some lover's road trip. I had brought her with me to kill her, nothing else.

No matter what transpired and how much my will to kill her was falling, she was still to blame for my mate's death and I would forever hate her for it.

How could she actually sit there and feel jealous? It made no sense. Bella held no feelings towards me what so ever, so why would she be jealous? Was it more to the fact that she had all but offered it to me on a plate and I had turned it down? Edward had done the same thing over and over again. Was she looking at this as more 'I'm just not sexy enough' rather than what it actually was?

"Where are we?" Bella asked, cutting through my thoughts.

"Middle of no where, miles away from humans, and no Edward in sight," I barked back at her, seeing her flinch out the corner of my eye.

"There's no need to snap at me. I was only asking."

"Shut up, Bella."

I sat and brooded for the rest of the drive, trying to work out if I was more pissed off or offended by her words. Personally, I thought she owed me a big fucking thanks for being able to wake up this morning; there was a pretty brown haired girl who wouldn't be waking again. Okay, so it wasn't something I had actually done, and she had saved her own skin last night, even though she was completely unaware of it, but surely a thanks was in order. Not this jealous rage of her finding out I fucked and then drained some poor girl.

Somehow Bella seemed to think her life just wasn't as important than being fucked. I hated brooding at the best of times. It was something that I had suffered time and time again with the little boy she was dating. Nothing ever made him happy and he would continually brood over something or other.

_How the hell did she actually manage to get under my fucking skin? _

This one tiny fucking human had actually managed to push my fucking buttons again! There was no way I was letting this happen again. No matter what happens, I will not allow her to push my buttons anymore. This was just unacceptable. Hopefully, Peter can come up with a good idea of what to actually do with her, because I was shit out of ideas.

Pulling up outside their house, I saw Peter standing on the porch smiling at me. The sun was hitting his marble hard skin and making it sparkle. Their house was miles from the nearest town and any passers by would not think to drive down the road. It wasn't used that much and looked more unused and leading to nothing than of anything interesting.

If, by some chance, some kids decided to take a trip down this road and find the house, they would never make it out alive. It was like walking into the dragon's den,which was something that you don't do unless you are stupid and want to die.

Bella's fear picked up as she noticed Peter sparkling in the sun with deep crimson eyes. She turned to look at me, making me smirk, and I cut the engine. To be honest, I didn't care if she was scared to be here, or if Peter or Charlotte wanted her for dinner. They were more than welcome.

"Well, well, well. I wondered how long it would take for you to show up here, " Peter smirked out as I climbed out the car.

"Fuck you, fucker," I spat, walking across the dirt towards him.

"Now brother of mine, there is no need for that," he grinned and looked past me to Bella in the car. "The problem?"

"You guessed it." Peter had this wonderful sense of just knowing. He never said it was a gift as such as he didn't see the future or feel emotions or read minds. He just knew stuff, random things, and they were never wrong.

"So you kidnapped her, planned to kill her, bottled it, and brought her here because?" The amusement in his voice only managed to piss me off more.

"I didn't bottle shit, and I've never bottled anything in my fucking life, Peter. Watch that fucking mouth before I shut it for you." Peter chuckled and walked past me to the car.

Out of anyone I knew, Peter was the only person who could say shit to me and get away with it. He would push my buttons, over and over again, never letting up while he had his fun. And it always ended in me kicking his backside all over the place. Yet, he never stopped. I guess, having gone through everything with him and him always serving under my control, I trusted him with my life.

He really was my brother and always had my back. Maybe, in a way, he enjoyed the fight that would break out between the two of us at some point.

"Well hello, pretty lady!" Peter squealed with his face pressed to the glass, scaring the shit out of Bella. "What's it's name?"

"I'm not a dog!" Bella snapped at him, making him chuckle.

"Oh, feisty. I like it even more. Can we keep it?" Peter bounced up and down on the spot, acting overly happy, even when he was anything but happy.

"Tell me what to do with it, Peter?" I moaned out as I saw Bella hit the locks on the car to lock herself in. "Bella, the locked door won't stop him from getting in if he wants to."

"This is Edward's Bella, right?" Peter asked. He turned himself around and rested his back against the car door. "The same Bella that brought that fucking army of newborns? The same Bella that cost your mate her life?"

"The very same."

Peter smirked and threw his fist back, smashing the window into tiny pieces. Bella screamed and covered her face. "Oops," slipped from his lips as though it was an actual accident. "Come on Bella, I've heard such...how do I put this..._marvellous_ things about you." Peter poked his head through the now shattered window. "It smells of sex in here. Did you fuck it last night?"

Snorting, I propped my back side on the porch step and stared at Peter. "Would she be alive if I had? And what about Alice? That is Alice's best friend."

"Shall we leave it in the car for now? And does it always smell like that?" Peter asked, wrinkling his nose.

"Its a human, Pete. They smell after a while," I chuckled out. "Leave her there. It's not as though she can outrun us or we won't hear her trying to escape." Getting off the porch, I turned and walked into Peter's house.

Looking around, I noticed Charlotte was nowhere to be found. It was unlike them to be apart. I wondered why she wasn't here and where she had gone to. Peter closed the door behind him and stood there, waiting. I could feel him filling himself up with sorrow and remorse, waiting for me to break apart.

My eyes cast across their living room before settling on a picture. Everything crashed to me. A million emotions soared though me as I took in the display in front of me. The picture itself was about three years old, and was the four of us together. My arm was wrapped around Alice's chest, holding her shoulder. Her gold eyes were shining and she was smiling at the camera with Peter by her side and his arm flung over Charlotte's shoulder. We looked happy; we looked in love. And the realisation hit home, hard.

"She's never coming back," I whispered out, "No matter what I do, where I run to, she won't be there."

"Jasper...I'm so sorry." My eyes closed as I felt the air around me shift.

I wanted to cry. So badly did I want to cry and release this, to let go of it and just fall apart. Since her death, I had locked myself down. I hadn't actually fallen apart. Even when Rose tried to comfort me, my mind was plotting and planning, coming up with a million different ways to extract my revenge. Not once had I just stopped everything and caved.

In truth, I wasn't sure I knew how to. My life had always been about surviving, looking out for myself and making sure I made it out of everything alive. Even with Alice by my side, it didn't stop. All that changed was that I was looking out for her first, making sure that she was safe and that she would be okay. I came second.

"Tell me what to do, Peter. Please." I felt his hand on my shoulder, waiting for me to continue. "I...I don't have it in me. It won't change; nothing will change my fate now."

"You need to decide what you are going to do with the girl, Jasper." Opening my eyes, I saw conflict sitting in his eyes. He wasn't sure what I should do either. "Personally, I would extract my revenge, but it won't bring Alice back. It would make Edward suffer, but then he would come for you."

"Then let the boy come!" I growled out.

"Major, no disrespect, but if it's a fight with Edward you want, then why is his toy in the car? Or do you wish to kill her and let him kill you and end your pain?"

"He couldn't kill me on my worst day, with an arm missing," I replied as Peter smirked.

"So why is she in the car?"

"It seemed like a good idea. I wanted him to suffer and feel pain, to be lost in this world and feel just the tip of what I am feeling." Moving out of his way, I sat down on the sofa and looked at the photo. "Alice would roast my fucking balls if she was here."

"Then she'd feed them to you," Peter chuckled. "Your pain and suffering you want him to feel wouldn't last, you know?" Tilting my head to the side, I waited for him to continue. "You know exactly what I am talking about."

"They're not mates." It was something I believed, fully, but not something I had shared with anyone, not even Peter.

"Yep," the smug fucker grinned at me, "I don't need to see them together to know they're not."

"So?" Was my great reply to my oldest friend's comment.

"So, Major, Killing her wouldn't achieve what you want. Edward would high tail it to Tanya or something, if he couldn't grow the balls to face you." Peter tapped his fingers on the chair arm. "You're gonna have to face him if you keep her alive, that is for certain. How many of the family are on your side?"

"Carlisle will not engage on a battle with me. If he can't get Edward to be civil then he will tell him to fight alone. The family has already been in battle and lost one member, two if include me. He won't do it again, not unless he is faced with numbers." Peter grinned at me. "What?"

"So keep her alive. Torment him. Put her in reach and snap her back again." I could see where he was heading, but the fight in me just wasn't there.

"But Alice won't be alive after my games. She will still be ashes, Peter. How do I move forward?" _When you've lost the one thing that kept you moving, how do you continue to move?_

"Jasper...It's not impossible to find love again. It may not ever be mind altering and body consuming love, but you can find someone to share this life with." Again, Peter was the only one who could say something like this to me so soon after my mate's death and not be torn apart.

He could speak this and make me see that when I was ready, there could be more to this life than just grieving for my mate and living a lonely life. But right now, those thoughts were not in my mind. I needed to decide what I was going to do with that little girl in the car, and Edward. Sure, he would continue to try and follow me, maybe even find me if I allowed him, but that would only happen while she was alive. Did I really want to kill her still?

"Do you boys want to explain why the fuck there is a human, in a car, crying her eyes out? Hmm?" Charlotte's angry tone cut through the calm silence that had settled in the room. "Whitlock! I want answers now, boy."

"Shut your damn mouth, woman. Can you not see us men are talking?" Peter barked back only to receive a hard clip around his head.

"It's crying and begging for Edward. I take it this has something to do with you, Jasper?" She spat at me.

"That's Bella, and yes, it has something to do with me. And it's why I am here."

"To leave her crying in my front yard? Get out of here right now and bring her inside," Charlotte ordered.

"Char-"

"Now, Jasper. It's bad fucking manners, and I know your mother raised you better than this." A low warning growl ripped through my chest at Charlotte. I was in no mood for another bossy female right now.

"And what exactly do you want me to do with her in here?" I growled out through gritted teeth. "Oh, and thanks for your fucking concern, Char."

WIthout another word, I left the house and went outside to find Bella crying her eyes out. Her head was resting on the wheel as she sobbed painfully. The whole car was a whirlwind of emotions and one I wasn't ready to face without causing some serious damage. I growled loudly; Bella gasped and shot her head up.

Bella's wide, terrified eyes locked onto mine. She had blotchy red skin, with tears still rolling down her cheeks as she shook in the car. I really didn't have the patience for this shit today. A mixture of feelings attacked me, with the slightest hint of hope. Was she actually thinking she was safer with me around? Stupid little girl.

"Get out the fucking car, Bella," I growled out at her. Bella shook her head like a prudent child. "I said get out the fucking car!" I roared out, making her flinch. Still she didn't move.

Growling, I began to stalk my way to the car, muttering to myself how having my buttons pushed right now was not the best or the smartest idea in the world. Reaching the passenger side door, I looked at Bella, who had all but curled herself into a ball in the driver's seat.

"Get out the car, Bella." Bella turned her head away and buried it in her lap. "I am not in the fucking mood, child! Get out of the fucking car before I drag your fucking ass out of it!"

"No!"

Anger flooded me at her word. Screaming out my frustration, I ripped the door off the car and threw it across the yard. "Do not defy me, little girl. Get out the god damn fucking car, right fucking now!"

"Jasper Whitlock!" Charlotte's voice rang in my ears. "Treat her with some respect. You know better than to treat a lady like that, regardless if it's your food or not."

"Do not push me, Charlotte," I warned as she strolled across the yard to me.

"Or what, Jasper? You arrive at my house with some girl in tow and treat her with such disrespect where I live. I don't care who you are, and I am well aware of who you are. I will not have this happening here. Do you understand me, Major?" Bella chuckled at the tonguelashing I had just received off Charlotte. "Hey sugar, excuse my brother and my mate for not showing any manners, I assure you they know better," Charlotte grinned at Bella. "Come with me. Would you like to take a shower and freshen up?"

"What the fuck are you doing?" I hissed at Charlotte.

"You would have killed her by now, Jasper, if you were going to. You can at least let the girl freshen up and eat while we decide what the best route is to take." Folding my arms over my chest, I sulked. "Stop sulking. Now, Bella, that's right, isn't it? I'm Charlotte, and for my sin the man standing on the porch is Peter, my mate. Come with me, sugar, I assure you that you are safe."

"Speak for yourself, woman," Peter called out, looking bored.

"Peter, you need to go into town and get Bella something to eat." She turned to look at Bella once more, her face showing nothing but kindness, " Sorry, we don't normally have humans here."

"No, you just feed from them," Bella mumbled and opened the door. "You don't need to go to any trouble over me. I'm only going to be someone's food anyway."

"Peter, town, now. God, men! Vampire or human, they are all the same." Charlotte held her hand out to Bella. "You have no reason to trust me, you know what I am and what I feed from. But, I did just stop Jasper from throwing a full blown temper tantrum because you wouldn't do as he says. So, how about you take my hand and I will show you the bathroom? You can shower while Peter goes to get some food."

"Woman, we will be talking tonight," Peter threatened. It was an empty threat and he knew it. Charlotte had him in his place and there was no moving on it. "Come on, bro," he continued.

"On your own, Peter. Me and Jasper are going to have a little chat." Charlotte grinned at me as she walked Bella into the house.

"You are so pussy whipped!" I teased.

"Like you ever weren't?" Peter chuckled. "I would love to see Maria's face if she knew just how whipped her Major actually was when it came to his mate."

"And my mate is ashes, you insensitive bastard."

"Jasper, I didn't mean to..." he trailed off. "I'll be back within the hour with human food." I nodded at him and he went to move, but stopped. "What food do I buy?"

"Anything. She either eats it or goes hungry." With that, I walked into house to find Charlotte already waiting for me in the living room and the sound of water coming from upstairs.

"Jasper? I'm sorry about Alice." Snorting at her words, I sat down and rested my head back against the sofa, staring at the ceiling. "I am. You know I am, and I am sorry for speaking to you like that out there, but that is no way to treat her."

"She killed Alice, Char. She knew about Alice's death and never told me, and you know why?" I asked. Charlotte shook her head at me. "She didn't like me, so she thought she would keep that bit of information to herself. I hate her, _hate her_ for what she has done."

Charlotte moved and sat down beside me. Her arm wrapped around my shoulder, pulling me to her and engulfing me in a hug. "She had her reasons, something Alice had made her promise to keep," she whispered in my ear. "I know it hurts, but Alice did this so you and her family would be okay. I don't believe for one minute that Alice wouldn't have told you if there was a chance that you could have saved her and the family would have stayed intact. She loved you, Jasper."

And the dam broke. Sobbing tears that would never come onto Charlotte's shoulder, my grief over took m. In Charlotte's arms, I didn't need to pretend. Charlotte's shoulders shook against my cheek as she wept quietly to herself, grieving her own loss over her friend. Over the years, Charlotte and Peter had become close to Alice. They were a little unsure of her wanting us to pursue the animal diet, and giving my record they believed that Alice had other ideas. Nevertheless, they accepted her and slowly saw the change in me.

"She was my everything, Char. How do I move forward?" I sobbed onto her shoulder. "She accepted me, everything about me. How can I ever replace that? How can I ever find someone to love me again and not be scared of me?"

"You'll get through this, Jasper. I know you will," she soothed in my ear while stroking my hair. "You'll find someone. She'll never be Alice, but you'll find someone who will love you."

"I don't want anyone else, I want Alice," I choked out as the pain in my chest tightened. If I had been human, I would have been finding it hard to breathe. "I want my love."

"I know, I know. I wish I could give you that, and so does Peter." Her sob in my ear brought on a fresh wave of dry tears. "Jasper? Try and let go. From what I know, that little girl upstairs lost her best friend that day, too."

"I lost my mate. It doesn't compare."

"No, it doesn't. But, you can find comfort from realising that others lost her too." The floor boards clicked, signalling Bella's presence in the room. Pulling away from Charlotte, I looked over at Bella who was standing awkwardly at the doorway into the living room.

Twisting her fingers together, her grief and sadness hit me like a ton of bricks. Her eyes, red rimmed from the tears she had shed, carried more tears waiting to spill over. In that moment, I was consumed with nothing but heartache, seeing that sight in front of me. The thought crossed my mind quickly to go and hug her. To say sorry to her and that I understood she lost her best friend and was grieving. Yet, as quickly as that thought came, it went and anger replaced that feeling.

Standing, I moved towards her, feeling her fear grow with every step I took until I was right in her face. "I fucking hate you. I hope that guilt eats you alive from the inside out. I hope it rots your very core and consumes you day and night. I hope it haunts your every dream, and more than anything, I hope you have everything snatched away from you and you suffer for what you have done."

A tiny sob escaped Bella's lips as I pushed past her and headed upstairs towards the shower. I needed to think and clear my mind. The little girl's heartbeat continued to drum in my ears as Charlotte spoke to her. I could hear her perfectly clear, but I didn't want to. I had no desire to hear what they spoke about. Charlotte could rip her throat out for all I cared.

Stripping off, I climbed into the shower and let the scalding hot water hit my cold body. Thankfully, the water in my ears covered the sound of them talking so it was just a dull mumbled sound to me. The hot water ran over me, washing away the traces from my last kill, and cleansing me. I guess out of everything, it's something vampires shared with humans. We liked to be clean, to feel clean, just like humans did. We may not sweat and have no need to wash to stop us from smelling, but we certainly didn't want to be covered in dirt and blood.

Flicking the shower off, I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my waist. Stepping out of the shower, I heard Bella's thumping heartbeat outside the door. "What do you want, Bella?" I called through the door.

"Um...can we talk?" Her voice shook as she spoke.

"Come in then," I snapped out. The door handle turned slowly and pushed open, showing Bella standing there, looking unsure. "What have you gotta say?"

"Do you want to get dressed first?" She asked, noticing I only had a towel wrapped around me. Smirking, I lent against the sink and shook my head. I had no problem standing like this. Her eyes couldn't see my scars unless she got close enough. "Um..."

"Spit it out, Bella."

"You don't know how sorry I am. I never meant to cause you pain, Jasper." I couldn't help but laugh at her words. "I know you don't believe that, but Alice...Alice made me promise, Jasper."

"Yeah, you said before," I spat. "It doesn't change a thing." Moving past her, Bella grabbed my arm. "Get your fucking hands off me before I tear it fucking off!"

"It doesn't have to be this way, Jasper." Ignoring her words, I threw her hand off me and walked out.

* * *

**Like it? Hate? Grown bored? Tell me what you think.**


	9. Chapter 9

_AN: Okay, I need to address one or two things before the chapter starts. From the last chapter, I received a lot of reviews stating that they didn't like Bella's sudden change or Jasper and his little "trip" so soon after Alice and that it was getting a little repetitive. Well, there is a method to my madness, and what is happening now, has a few key points for the story. Things that will come to light slowly, and while they may appear to be a little bipolar, they aren't...trust me on this. There is no "Stockholm syndrome" going on either. I could sit and explain the past 8 chapter and the workings for certain things, but then what would be the point in writing out the plot? Its complex and not black and white. You can stay and wait for it unfold or put it down to one of them "fucked up" fics that make no sense, not bothered either way. I write for myself first. I guess this is the trouble with posting it in chapters and everyone having to wait to see what is next. _

_Moving on. Thank you to everyone who did review the last chapter, and to my beta for working on my chapter. _

* * *

Successfully, I had manged to avoid Bella for the last four days. Every time she came anywhere near me, I moved or sent her a heavy dose of fear that would leave her trembling where she stood. Peter entertained her for a while, poking fun at her and letting her know that she was looked upon as dog, much to Charlotte's annoyance. Charlotte, it would seem, was fond of the little girl who had single handedly destroyed my life.

I found it strange that Charlotte hand taken her under her wing, as did Peter. Charlotte had never once been the type to go mingling with humans, unless it was feeding time. Both Peter and I had put it down to the fact that Charlotte was enjoying having another female around, and would soon grow bored of her and just want to kill her. It was the only reasonable thought we could come up with.

Nevertheless, Bella stayed by Charlotte more times than not. She clearly found some protection in Charlotte and wasn't about to part from it.

_How would Charlotte feel if you just left Bella here? _It's certainly an idea.

Edward was now on the move. He had broken away from Carlisle and Esme and was trying in vain to track me. Emmett and Rose had also taken off, only they had not followed Carlisle and Esme as they tried to keep Edward at bay. Instead, they had broken off completely and were currently heading my way. Only, they weren't too sure where I was.

Rose had a good idea, and was pleading with me to tell her where I was hiding out. But, I was holding out on telling her. Sure, I wanted her here; she would be great to have in my wings along with Emmett, but I wasn't sure if Edward was in contact with them. While I trusted my sister, I didn't fully trust their intentions.

Edward had screamed, growled, begged, and pleaded for me to let Bella go. He threatened death to all unless he got her back and cried like a bitch down the phone wanting to talk to her. Bella had been given the choice to speak to him, but had refused. I couldn't help but smile when she point blank refused to talk to her crying boyfriend. It was classic to hear Edward try and talk Bella around, telling her that she didn't have to do what I said. No, she didn't; she was given the choice.

"Boys!" Charlotte's call broke though the peaceful summer's day. The birds that had been resting in the nearby trees shot off at her voice. "I won't call you both again before I come out there and kick your asses!"

"Woman, will you behave? We are bonding!" Peter called back as he sat up.

I made no attempt to move, staying on my back with one knee bent and my eyes closed, enjoyed the hot sun soaking into my cold skin. Right now I was calm and relaxed, letting my mind wander freely. It was almost like meditation, only not.

"What the hell does she want? It's like being a kid again, getting called in for dinner," I muttered, making Peter chuckle.

"Maybe she killed Bella and it is dinner time?"

"Sounds tempting, but you and I both know that won't happen." It was true, I had hoped that leaving Charlotte alone with the human would result in her death; I hadn't been so lucky.

"Now!" Groaning, I jumped to my feet and slowly began the walk from the top of the hill down to the house. Of course, I could run it and be there in under a minute, but I was in no rush to get there. Peter, on the other hand, flew past me like his ass was on fire.

Charlotte could wait. There wasn't much she could to do to me. I will take as long as I like to get there, and I am willing to bet this 'call' will be about Bella. Another reason for me to take my time getting there.

Ten minutes later, I wandered through the kitchen and into the living room, noticing a rather pissed off looking Charlotte and a scolded looking Peter. Bella sat there looking at the floor, only tilting her head slightly when she heard me enter the room. Smiling at Charlotte, I plopped myself down on the other end of the sofa that Bella was sitting on.

"Me and Bella have been talking," Charlotte started as I groaned. "She needs to talk to Edward, and has asked if she can call him."

"Great, and I was needed here for?" I spat, acting ever more the sulking brooding mess I had become in her presence.

"Your phone, Jasper. And Bella would like you to be here. She wants to do it on speaker phone." Peter's eyes shot up and looked at me and then back at Bella.

"She wants to make friends with you, Jazz!" Peter clapped happily, "You're gonna have your own little human puppy as your friend! I'm jealous." His sarcasm angered me. I knew the fucker knew a lot more then he was letting on and was using these sarcastic ribs to paint cryptic pictures.

"Well, she's shit out of luck, because humans are my food, not my friends." Pulling my phone out my pocket, I tossed it to Bella. "Call him, tell him where you are, arrange to meet him, whatever you want. I am past fucking caring." Getting to my feet, I decided that I didn't need to be here for this shit and what I had said had been true.

I didn't care.

"Why are you being such a bastard to me?" Bella suddenly snapped at me. "You know, in the car coming here, you would talk to me, laugh with me, hell, you threatened to kill me in that car. But since we got here, you won't tell me how much you hate or want to kill me."

"Shut the fuck up, Bella. I spoke to you in the car because you drove me fucking insane with the tears! At least here I don't have to listen to them and therefore I don't need to talk to you to get you to shut up." Bella looked up at me, her emotions jumping around from one thing to the next, not sure what to settle on.

"You brought me fucking here! Did I wanna come? No! Was I given the choice? No! You just kidnapped me, and now you don't know what to do with me! You are just ignoring me!" She screamed at me.

"And your point is what?" I barked back, noticing Bella fisting her hands on and off. "You wanna go back to control boy? The boy you think is your mate? I'll fucking drive you back into town and he can get you if that's what you want. But think about this, Bella," Somehow during my rant, I had moved closer to her. "When you join this world and your blood is all but gone after your first year, Edward will leave you."

"That's not true!" She screamed at me.

"Is it not? Your blood appeals to him and this is why you have this fucked up relationship. It's why he won't let you go anywhere out of his sight and why he follows and controls your every move. He doesn't want one tiny drop of your blood being spilled."Anger flooded Bella, uncertainty came from Charlotte, and smugness came from Peter as I finished talking.

Bella's mouth opened to say something, just as my phone kicked into life. Looking down at the screen, I saw Edward's number flashing. "Looks like you don't need to call him after all, Bella."

Picking my phone up, I clicked it on and put it on speaker phone. _"Jasper? Jasper, you better answer me now!" _Edward screamed down the phone. The sound of the air rushing past him could be heard, letting me know he was running.

"Edward?" Bella spoke timidly as she sat down and picked the phone up and held it in her hand.

_"Bella? Are you okay? Where are you? Tell me where you are, please, love."_

"I'm okay, and I don't know where I am. I'm at a house with Peter and Charlotte." Edward's growl echoed in the house from the speaker, making me smirk. "I'm fine, though. I'm not hurt."

_"Not hurt? I saw what he made you do in that bar, and what he made you say. Bella, you don't have to do these things he is making you do. He can't make you."_

"What bar?" Peter asked, "What you get her to do?"

"Nothing. I got drunk and danced on the table," Bella replied. "Edward, he didn't make me do anything. He asked me if I wanted to dance. He never made me get on the table, nor did he make me take my tee off."

_"You wanted that?" _The air stopped swishing around him as he came to a stop.

"I was having fun."

_"Do you know he filmed that? And sent me it? I saw what you were doing in a state of undress, asking him for release. Bella, what did he threaten you with?" _

"God, Edward, nothing. I was horny, I wanted release. I wanted to cum, something you failed to ever do for me." The grin appeared on my face as I saw the foundations of their relationship fall apart. "Edward, you control me. You think you know best and you won't let me do anything, let alone us getting like that."

_"We've spoken about this, Bella."_

"No, you spoke and I listened. All it was, was my blood. I see that now. Jasper pointed a few key points out to me, about mating with a vampire and how anyone else would have done everything to stop a threat on their mate. Unlike you."

_"And I did! My family had a battle with a bunch of newborns to protect you. Alice died in that battle. If you don't think that is protecting your mate, then I don't know what is."_

"It should have never gotten that far. Victoria should have been taken out the moment she posed a threat to me. But you let her slide, let her regroup, and because of that, because of you, an army attacked the family. Jasper lost his mate, I lost my best friend, and Carlisle and Esme lost a daughter."

_"That was unfortunate, Bella."_

"It could have been avoided, Edward. For what it's worth, I see how wrong our relationship was and is. I want to do more things, Edward, like get stupidly drunk if I feel like it and dance on tables."

_"And that's why you begged him for release? Did you and him...?"_

"Fuck?" Bella questioned, not showing the slightest bit of embarrassment. "No, but I wanted it. I wanted him that night. He gave me release, though. He took me into the back of the car and made me cum with his gift."

_"I feel sick."_

"Oh, come on, Eddie. It's a natural part of life, both humans and vampires have the itch...though, you seem to be lacking it." Peter chipped in.

_"This has nothing to do with you, Peter." _

"He can say what he likes, Edward," Bella snapped.

_"I will find you, Bella. You have my word." _

"Good luck with that, _brother,"_ I spat the last word out, before cutting him off. "Happy?" I looked at Bella, waiting for a response.

"No, not really, but you don't care," Bella hissed.

"Damn right I don't. Glad we understand each other," I said through gritted teeth.

"Understand? I personally think you're a complete head fuck who couldn't figure out how to open a paper bag." Hearing her words, I spun round to face her, moving myself inches from her face.

"Do not provoke me, Bella. You carry on pushing them buttons and I can assure you that blood of yours will be rolling down my throat."

"You don't scare me. Not anymore." My eyes narrowed at her as I read her emotions. For the most part, what she said was true. She wasn't scared of me, but she certainly feared me.

Smirking at her, I watched her face change as the angry mask covered her. "No? You just fear me."

"One in two in the same!"

"Nope. They are different, Bella." Turning I looked at Charlotte. "I'm done."

XXXXX

The sky had begun to grow dark as I continued to lay in the tranquility of the hill top. It was peaceful, relaxing here. Being here was almost like I centre myself, keep myself grounded, and more importantly, away from that girl.

Still, as much as I was hiding away, I still needed to face the truth and figure out what to do with her. She had shocked me with how she spoke to Edward. The timid little girl that I had taken had grown a back bone and was more then happy to lay it down. Yes, she was stupid. Provoking a vampire was never smart, especially a vampire like me, yet she continued to do so.

Opening my eyes, I looked at the stars in the sky, wishing I knew what to do.

_"If you saw this, Alice, then what am I meant to do? Where do I go from here? And why aren't you here?" _

More than anything, I wished I could turn back time. I should have seen it, should have spotted her making plans for the future. How did I miss it? She was my mate, my saviour, how did her knowing of her death go unnoticed by me? It had to have been there in her emotions, buried deep down somewhere, being masked by everything else. I should have looked.

But, I had no reason to read her emotions, always assuming she would tell me something like this.

_Maybe you didn't know her as well as you thought. _

That thought shot a pain directly through my dead heart. Unable to keep hold of my emotions from that one thought, I let the gate open and blasted my feelings out. No more than a minute later, I heard the giggling sound of a drunk Bella moving quickly towards me.

I could smell Charlotte, carrying Bella up the hillside towards me. I wanted to scream and shout and tell her to take the fucking human elsewhere. Yet, the words failed to come out. Seconds later, Charlotte was standing beside me, pulling a wobbly and drunk Bella off her back.

"You got her drunk?"

"Peter did," Charlotte mused out. "He wanted her to perform like she did at the bar. He feels like he missed out on fun time with the human." Bella sat down on the ground next to me with a hard thump.

"Hey, Jazzie."

"Jasper, Bella."

"Whatever," she sighed. "Char? Did you pick up my drink?"

_Char? _Just how fucking close had they become over the last few days? I watched as Charlotte pulled out the screw top bottle of wine and handed it to Bella. _I could push her off the hill top. No one would know any different._ Charlotte growled low in warning at me. My emotions were clearly still projecting and she had picked up exactly what I was thinking.

"Play nice, and talk." With that, Charlotte took off back down the hill, leaving me and Bella in an awkward silence.

"What drew you to Alice, Jasper?" Bella asked, breaking the silence between us. "You two were so different. You were quiet and held back. She was full on and in your face. What drew you to her?"

"Everything, Bella," I answered with a sigh. "She gave me a way out of the life I was living and showed me hope when everything around me was dark. She brightened my world and gave me a reason to live."

"And you fell in love?"

"Yes. After a time, things developed between us. It wasn't a easy road and it took me a long time to let her get close to me, but when I did..." I trailed off, not wanting to discuss this anymore.

"You felt amazing." It wasn't a question, more a statement.

"Yes."

"How did you cope with her energy?" Bella asked before taking a long swig of wine.

Chuckling at her question, I replied, "I just got used to it. She was my ball of energy, always on the go and leaving my head spinning. Over time, I got used to shutting her out when she got too much."

"Too much?"

"Yes. Her excitement over the latest fashion was always a killer. I never fully understood how she could be so excited over some fabric, and while I loved her to death, that was too much." I couldn't help but smile at the memories of her and the new ranges coming out.

"Me either," she sighed. "She had to take control over everything, plan everything. Did that drive you mad?"

"Yes and no. Sometimes, I just wanted her to stop and not plan something stupidly big and outrageous, but there was no stopping her when she got going. At times, I would pull her in and try to slow her down, but those times were few and far between." Sitting up, I rested my palms behind me and looked at Bella. "Why all the questions?"

"I miss her," she answered. "I know it holds nothing to what you are feeling, but I did love her and I do miss her. Jasper?" Her hand reached out and touched my arm. "I'm sorry, so sorry," she sobbed.

"I know." And I did. I could feel how sorry she was for what had happened to Alice. "Don't cry, Bella."

"Can't help it," she whispered.

"Maybe you should stop drinking for now," I said as I tried to pull the wine bottle away from her.

"No! You're not my father and I'll drink if I want to." I couldn't help but laugh at her being stubborn. "What you laughing at?"

"You," I chuckled out. "Who would have thought that Edward's little Bella would grow a backbone and say no to the nasty vampire."

"I'm not that Bella anymore and you're not as nasty as you think," she challenged.

"Oh, am I not? We'll see about that."

"Friends?" Her voice was timid as she asked, refusing to look at me in the eye.

"I don't know about friends, Bella," I smirked at her. "If I remember correctly, I am meant to be killing you."

"You would have done it by now."

"Oh, would I? And you know this how?"

"Char told me," she grinned. "She said you wouldn't have used your gift to get me off if you were gonna kill me."

"Charlotte knows nothing, and I was ticking off a human experience for you." I watched Bella shiver in the cold night air, turning her bare arms into goose bumps. "Cold?"

"A little, I only have a vest top on," she pointed down her body, showing her pert nipples sticking out against the fabric.

"So I see."

"Maybe you could warm me up?" Her lust spiked slightly.

"And how exactly do you think someone as cold as me could warm you up?" I replied, drinking in her emotions.

"I got pretty hot the other night in the car, when you made me cum," she answered with a shrug.

"Oh, you think I am some personal sex toy?"

"You do have a good gift," she smiled at me as her eyes became more hooded with lust and alcohol.

"Yes, and you are drunk."

"And horny," she replied as she dropped the bottle of wine and smashed it against a rock. "Fuck!"

"Aww, did Bella lose her wine?"

"Fuck you," she snapped, staring at the broken glass.

"Bella?" I warned with caution as she picked up a broken piece of glass. "Put it down before you cut yourself."

"I'm a big girl and I know what I am doing." Her excitement spiked as she ran the glass down her palm and over her wrist, not hard enough to break the skin. "Jasper...you like blood, right?"

"Don't play this game, Bella," I warned, unable to take my eyes off the glass in her hand.

Bella moved the glass up her arm and over her shoulder before dipping it down in between her breasts. Her lust picked up and her arousal began to attack my nose. _How the fuck is she getting turned on right now? _Was this sort of thing normal with drunk women? They get drunk and suddenly everything turns them on?

"Bella..." I whispered, watching her run the broken glass down her throat and over the vest.

"I feel wet," she moaned as the glass ran over her pert, vest covered nipple.

Her emotions were slamming hard into me, clouding my mind as she turned herself on. Her blood pumped faster and harder around her body, as the chemicals changed her blood. She smelt better, sweeter, richer. I could almost feel her warm blood running down my throat as I took her.

"You're staring at me, Jasper." I didn't say anything, Instead, I continued to stare and watch the blade of glass run over her body.

I knew I had to move, to get away from her before she broke the skin and showed me her blood. There was no way I would be able to resist tasting if it's on display. Yet I couldn't move. Her emotions, along with her show, were turning me on.

"Fuck," she moaned as the blade of glass cut her collar bone.

A low rumbling growl rattled in my chest as I saw her blood seep out of the cut. Venom pooled in my mouth as I watched it trickle slowly down her chest before disappearing down her vest. It was hypnotic, calling me over and over again. I wanted to taste the red liquid on my tongue, sink my teeth into her neck, and feed off her essence.

My muscles locked, getting ready to strike and take my prey as I watched Bella. No fear came from her, just excitement, as she stayed looking at me. Her fingers moved, touching the cut on her collar bone and collecting the blood. She looked at her fingers and smirked before moving closer to me.

A low hiss left my lips as she ran her blood covered fingers over my lips. "Taste," she purred at me.

Licking my lips, I tasted her sweet blood on my tongue. It exploded onto my taste buds, kicking up my bloodlust. Without thinking, I had Bella pinned underneath me. My hands were holding her wrists over her head, my legs over hers, pinning her between mine. Bella's heart rate picked up, beating wildly in her chest.

The sudden change brought out her fear, but only slightly. Her growing need and lust overtook her fear and gave her excitement. Lowering my head, my ice cold tongue licked up the trail of blood, to her cut, and past it.

"You're playing a dangerous game with me, Bella," I whispered in her ear. "A very dangerous game."

Letting go of her wrists, my hands moved to the top of her vest top and tore it open. Bella gasped at my movement but made no attempt to escape. My mouth moved from hear ear to the blood that had trickled down onto her breast and over her nipple. Bella moaned and moved against me as my ice cold tongue swirled around her blood covered nipple.

"Jasper..." She moaned as my tongue continued to collect the blood that had travelled around her breast, neck, and shoulder.

_Blood and sex. _

Unable to stop myself, I rocked against her, creating the much needed friction I desired. My mouth and lips continued to devour her and her blood. Bella's hands gripped into my hair as she battled to move her legs against mine. As I let my left thigh push between her legs, the smell of her arousal hit me twice as hard.

Feeling the heat and wetness of her pussy against my thigh was almost my undoing. My control was quickly running out, and it was taking everything in me not to sink my teeth into her and drain her dry. Her rubbing her pussy against my thigh was not helping matters.

"Jasper...please..." she pleaded. "Touch me, please." Her warm hand ran down my side and began lifting up my tee slightly. Bella's fingertips brushed against my skin and I was off her in a flash.

Perching myself up the tree and looking down at her, I tired to clear my mind. The taste of her blood still lingered on my tongue, making the beast inside of me roar into life, wanting to taste more and to fuck her into oblivion while draining her dry.

"Jasper?" I could feel her confusion and uncertainty over what had just happened between us.

Taking in large, unneeded lungfuls of air, I began to smell the bark of the tree and leaves on it. The scent helped my clear my mind enough to focus on the girl below. None of this was meant to happen. I couldn't allow myself to be brought into some blood game with her. I would kill her, and now, I wasn't so sure that's what I wanted to do.

"Get the fuck away from me, Bella." I growled out as she tried to pull the last remains of her vest around her. "You have no idea what you have just done, and how in danger you are right now."

"Please, Jasper, come down. I know you won't hurt me."

"You stupid little girl!" I roared out. "Never play that game again, unless you want to fucking die!" Jumping down from the tree with a much clearer head, I pulled my tee off and threw it at her. "Put it on and shout for Charlotte." I didn't stay for a response. Taking off into the night, I went in search of my next meal.

* * *

_Another drunk Bella, and a little key to everything is in this chapter...did you see it? _


	10. Chapter 10

_I know, its been a long ass time since I last updated, and I'm pretty sure that most of you will have given up on this fic, but for those of you who haven't...Thank you. I won't bore you all with the long ass AN, I'm sure most just bypass them...I normally do ;) _

_PLEASE KEEP IN MIND: This has not been beta'd. I no longer have a beta for this story, so all grammar issues and such are all mine. I did go over it a few times, but yeah...If anyone is interested in the job, PM me. _

_Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter!_

* * *

As I approached the house, just as dawn started to break, I saw Peter's figure standing on the porch with a serious look on his face. Slowing my run down, I prolonged this little chit chat, wanting to savour the taste of the eighteen year olds blood on my tongue a little longer.

I was a mess, covered in blood with torn clothing. My hair was mattered with blood making it clinging to sides of my face. The smell of blood and sex lingered on me, and I couldn't remove the smirk that was resting on my lips. I had a lot of fun last night, working my charm on a group of girls, who were a little drunk and very fucking eager to get on their knees or open their legs.

My victims had died with a euphoric haze in their mind from a mind blowing orgasm, before being drained to death. Did I play with my food last night? Yes I fucking did.

"Drop the smug expression, you arrogant prick," Peter yelled at me as I hit the yard and began walking towards him. "You reek of sex." he shook his head at me, making me smirk even more. "How many?"

"Not nearly enough," was my cocky reply.

"Wanna tell me what the fuck happened last night?" Peter asked while blocking my path into the house. "Like now, Major."

"Not that it matters to you, but I found a group of very drunk girls, all very willing and very much begging for it. They wanted it, I gave it, and I took my payment." Peter shook his head at me and frowned.

"I meant with Bella," he spat at me. "You know that human girl you brought with you about a week ago?"

Leaning against the porch beam, I crossed my arms over my chest, "What about her?"

"Well, let's see shall we, Major," Peter hissed. "She comes to see you, everything seems all good, then she is suddenly shouting for Charlotte, wearing your Tee and covered in blood. Oh, and completely reeking of you. So, what happened? 'Cause I can tell you now, next time you send her packing and bleeding she won't be alive."

"She's still alive?" I was shocked. In all honestly I had assumed that the fresh smell of blood would be too much for them and one of them would have killed her for me.

"Yes," he hissed at me, "Only because by the time she called for Charlotte, she had stopped bleeding. Even then it was a struggle. What happened?"

"Nothing, Peter." Peter shook his head at me, not buying a word I said.

"She smelt of you and had your Tee on, so don't tell me nothing happened."

"Nothing, alright? Whatever it was, was a complete mistake and one that will not happen again," I all but barked out at Peter. "I'm gonna shower and change."

"She told Charlotte and she's after your balls." Peter muttered as I walked past him.

"What?"

"You heard. She told Charlotte what happened, and I gotta say Jasper, I don't know what you are playing at. Blood games? With her? "He sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I thought you couldn't stand her?"

"I can't and she started the game, not me." Walking up to the front door, I stopped in my tracks, listening for the sound of Bella's heartbeat. "Where are they?"

"Char took her out the house for a while, so me and you could talk." I snorted at his comment and wondered just what the fuck Charlotte was playing at. "I haven't done either."

"Well, I have." Pushing the door open, I walked through the house and up the stairs, fully aware that Peter was trailing behind me. Turning, I looked at him and seeing him narrowing his eyes at me. "What, Peter?"

"You need to decide what you're gonna do with her. If you don't want to kill her anymore, then send her packing back to Eddie. If you're gonna kill her then get it over with."

"I don't know what I am gonna do, not that it's any of your business!" I spat at him, holding my posture firm.

"You brought her here, to my home. That makes it my business," he said, just before smirking. "Then again, you're not gonna kill her, and you certainly aren't gonna send her back to Edward."

"Your point?"

"She wants to make peace with you, why do you think she came to you last night? Why do you think she placed herself in that situation? She wants to try and make friends with you, Jazz." Peter placed his hand on my shoulder and gripped it firmly, "I know it's because of her that you lost Alice, but she suffered too."

"Whose fucking side are you on?" I growled, throwing his hand off my shoulder.

"Yours, but I see a lot more then you realise," he grinned at me, "But you will. You'll see it too and when you're ready, I have something for you, from Alice."

_Alice..._My dead heart broke a little more at the mention of her name. Looking at Peter grinning at me, I wanted to smash his fucking face in, tear him apart and watch his body burn to ashes for not mentioning this sooner.

"Give it to me," I demanded.

"No can do. Alice was very clear in my letter, telling me that you can only have it when you are ready and that I will know when the time is right." Compassion laced his words as he spoke softly. "Jasper, I wanna give it you, I truly do. If it was the other way around, I would want it now too, but you can't. Not yet, anyway."

"Stop with this fucking bullshit! Just tell me what you know now, Peter." He shook his head at me and stepped back. "Now, Peter. Tell me right fucking now before I kick your ass all over this state it will take Charlotte months to find all of you."

"I know nothing, other than what I told you."

"You lying fucking prick," I screamed at him. "Don't fucking lie to me, I can feel the lie coming off you. Now tell me."

"You are my brother, I love you, and this is for your own good. The answer is no." A low rumbling warning growl left my chest as my anger battled inside of me. My beast dying to get out and tear his fucking head off.

"Give it me now! You have something for me, from my mate. Don't you dare hold it over my head like this, Peter." Inside I was breaking, wanting that letter from him, form Alice more than I wanted anything else in my life.

"Don't make me fight you over this, Major." Peter warned as I poised myself ready to fight. "If I have too, I will. But you will not have this letter, yet. Please, as your second in command, as your friend you let escape all them years ago, and as your brother, trust me."

"Please, Peter," my voice broke as my emotions took the better of me. "Please, let me have it."

"Trust me, please, just trust me." We stood facing each other; both of us locked and ready to fight when we heard the rumble of Charlotte's car coming onto the long drive. "Go and shower, Jasper. Don't let Bella see you like this."

"Why not?" I whispered.

"Because she doesn't need to see what you did last night, she doesn't need to blame herself for those girls losing their lives. You know she will, she carries enough guilt as it is." Thinking about it for a second, I felt Peter's emotions begging me to trust him mixed with love.

Nodding, I relaxed my stance and took off. Running into the bedroom, I grabbed some clothes and ran into the bathroom, stopping short when I saw myself in the mirror. Disgust ran though me at the sight that stared back at me. My face was covered in blood; my hair was mattered with it, turning my blonde curls into a deep crimson colour. Blood was splattered down my neck and chest.

My red eyes starred back at me, my beast smirking inside of them, waiting to come out and take control. The guilt I should have felt after last night's events with them girls, didn't come, and I doubted it would today, or even tomorrow.

Stepping away from the mirror, I stripped off and got under the hot shower. Seeing the water turning red, I heard the rustle of bodies moving outside the door and muffled voices. Bella's heartbeat could be heard faintly through the spray of the water, only angering me more. She wasn't meant to be getting on so fucking fabulously with Charlotte. I wasn't meant to be made to feel like the fucking bad guy in all of this. Yet, somehow the fucking little bitch had Charlotte on her side; family loyalty clearly didn't run far here.

The door to the bathroom opened and closed quickly and someone began tapping their foot on the stone flooring. _Charlotte. _She couldn't even give me a moment's peace before she started ripping into me over last night.

"Get out the shower, Jasper." Her voice cold and harsh as she spoke. Waves of anger rolled off her with a hint of compassion. It was only that small bit of compassion that was keeping her in check.

"Go play with your new toy, Char. I'm not in the mood," I spat, hoping she would take the hint and go.

"I'm not leaving until you get out the shower," Charlotte hissed at me.

"What you being like this for? I didn't realise you had turned all "save the human race" on us, you should go shack up with Carlisle, you'll fit right in."

"And maybe you should look at dealing with your grief instead of toying around with that human." Charlotte's hand suddenly came through the end of shower curtain, turning off the water. "Here," she thrust a towel through the gap at me.

"What the fuck?" I growled in annoyance at her as I wrapped the towel around my waist. "I don't come and interrupt you showering, do I?" I hissed, pulling back the curtain.

"Look, you need to sort this out, Jasper. Give the young girl a break and actually try and make peace with her," Charlotte pleaded with me as I leant against the sink.

"Why? I have no desire to make peace with her. She's the reason I lost everything, Char." My anger was dying inside of me, all I wanted to do was sit and cry. "Do you have any idea what that's like?"

"No I don't, but I do know Bella is scared and hurting too. Last night you went too far, and you know it."

"Me? I didn't do anything! She's the one that started the game not me, so don't tell me I went too far." Charlotte smirked at me. "what?"

"Did you enjoy yourself?"

"No!" I shuddered slightly, "The girl gets under my skin."

"And maybe that's the point. Why does she get you so much? Maybe because deep down this," she waved her hand up and down me, "Isn't who you are."

"Excuse me?"

"Jasper, me and Peter know better than anyone just what you are capable of, but this person before me isn't you." she sighed and moved next to me, placing her arm around my shoulder. "To see you treat Bella with such disrespect shocks me. Never have I seen you act this way towards a woman, even with Maria you didn't act like this."

"I hate her Char, I hate her for what she's cost me," I whispered out, feeling the pain starting to build up in my chest. "I just want her back."

The flood gates opened as I painfully sobbed in Charlottes arms. There was nothing I could that would change anything, and I knew that I needed to accept Alice's death to be able to move forward in life, but right now I saw no light in the darkness. No beacon calling me and guiding me to home, nothing to take strength from and keep me afloat. Everything seemed so pointless, so empty. All I had struggled with, all the battles I faced to a better man didn't seem worth it now.

Charlotte whispered soothing, loving words in my ear, trying to comfort me in my hour of need, the act was pointless. Charlotte's arms weren't the ones I wanted to feel, but I was grateful for her trying.

Coming out of the bathroom, I watched Charlotte walk off in search of Peter before I headed into the bedroom to change. Tying up my hair, I dressed quickly with a notion to send Bella back to Edward.

There was no point in her being here; I wasn't going to kill her as it wouldn't solve anything. Her and Edward weren't even mates, so his suffering wouldn't compare to mine and all that I would achieve would be the death of another human by my hands.

"Jasper..." Bella's nervous voice spoke as I entered the kitchen where her and Charlotte were. It still angered me how she had managed to have Charlotte on her side.

"Look, call pissy boy and tell him where you are. I'll write the address down and you can fuck off out my life before you ruin the rest of it," Bella flinched slightly at my tone, causing Charlotte to growl at me.

"Can we talk?"

"No, I have nothing to say to you." which was true I didn't, I also didn't want her to try and from some sort of friendship with me. It seemed that when we actually did speak, I would forget how much I hated her and what she had caused.

"Well, I do." She barked at me, "please,"

"What part of no don't you understand?" I growled out. "I'm giving you a fucking out here, just take it!"

"Talk to me first, please Jasper." I could smell the salty tears beginning to fill her eyes without even looking at her.

"Fine!" I snapped, "Say what ya gotta say then go."

"Alright," she slide off the bar stool and headed towards the back door. "Come on then."

"Play nice," Charlotte warned as I followed Bella out the house and into the hot sun.

Bella walked down the path and onto the trail that snaked its way up the hill. Trailing behind her, I let the warm rays from the sun penetrate cold skin and warm it slightly. Bella suddenly stopped and slumped down in the grass bank and began looking at me.

Arching my eyebrow at her, I folded my arms and waited for her to start her dribble of words. Words that I wasn't interested in hearing and words that I knew I had to hear or she would never leave.

Bella seemed content out here with me, no fear coming off her, just the feelings of peace and contentment mixed with a slight hint of determination.

"Jasper, sit down," she asked softly, squinting her eyes in the sunlight. "I want us to talk."

Rolling my eyes at her, I sat down in huff acting more like a child in a sulk than the grown man I actually was. "Get on with it," I snapped, growing impatient.

"I know you hate me, and I don't blame you there, but you have to believe me when I say I'm truly sorry you lost Alice. I should have said something, I shouldn't have let the battle happen without you knowing what would happen, but she made me promise. She said if you knew you would get hurt, she was protecting you, Jasper," Bella whispered to me, trying to keep her tears at bay.

"I can look after myself and war is something I was created for."

"I don't doubt that, but Alice couldn't bare the thought of you being hurt in that battle to save her. Just like she couldn't bare the thought of anyone else getting hurt or worse. She loved you so much, Jasper. She fell apart while telling me, worrying how you would cope without her by your side. She did this with a lot of thought and with a lot of love." Bella gently wiped her eyes and looked at me. "She told me I was safe, no matter what happened, I was safe."

"She knew I would do this," I said more to myself than to Bella, "And you trust her there?"

"I have no reason to not too. She knew you all too well, Jasper. And knew that you wouldn't hurt me in the long run." Bella again placed her hand on my arm that was resting against my knee.

Looking at her hand on my arm, I couldn't work out if I wanted to rip it off or fall apart under her touch. Inside my internal battle raged, she was the reason for my pain, yet in the small corners of my mind I was realising that she was suffering too.

"I miss her so much," I whispered. "I don't know how to live without her in my life, without her love and support. Everything seems so black and empty, I feel like I'm lost out at sea with no way of getting back to shore." Bella gently squeezed my arm but stayed quite, for that I was grateful for. "She made me who I am today, I'm crumbling without her and I don't like admitting it. It's a sign of weakness, and for someone like me to show that kind of weakness is just unacceptable."

"You lost your mate, Jasper. There's no shame in being and showing that you're in pain." Bella moved slightly closer to me. "This isn't the battlefield, it's not war, you're a person with feelings and no one will think any less of you for crumbling without her."

"I don't want to crumble, but I'm not strong enough to handle this."

"You are, you're stronger than you think and I know it's hard right now, but you will see light one day."

"How do you know? You don't know a thing about me," I huffed out.

"I know that you have two families that both love you and hate what you're going through. I know that Alice had so much faith in you that she knew you would handle this and your bloodlust. Last night I bled in front of you, you tasted my blood and didn't kill me. That tells me you have complete control."

"You got lucky last night,"

"Nope, you were in control." Bella smiled at me.

"Just think yourself lucky, I almost lost control."

"From you fucking me, you mean," she smirked, "Admit it, you wanted me last night."

Sighing, I laid back against the grass and closed my eyes, "Yes," I whispered feeling Bella's smugness slowly creep out of her with a sense of victory. "Blood and sex go hand in hand for me, Bella. Don't conjure up something else in your head."

"I'm not," she said as embarrassment flooded her.

"Good." Placing my hands behind my head, I heard Bella move slightly. "Call Edward and go home, Bella."

"I don't want to, and I'm meant to be dead," she sighed. "I don't want to go back. Yeah, I miss my dad and all, but I don't want to go back to that life."

"Well, I don't want you here."

"Tough, you're stuck with me." Opening my eyes slightly, I saw Bella lie down and mirror my position. The action caused her top to rise up slightly and show her creamy White stomach. "I need a new name, a new identity."

"And you're telling me because?"

"Because you know people that can make it happen." Bella moved again, "You can see your scars in the sun, they reflect differently."

"And?"

"Just saying, that's all. Did they hurt?"

"Some did, but most just sting as the venom sets in your skin." I sighed remembering just how much some of these actually hurt. "What's it to you?"

"I just wondered. Do they bother you?" What was this? Twenty questions with Jasper time?

"Nope, they have their advantages. Most vampires fear me when they see them, even more so when they find out who I am. They are a part of me."

"I like them," I snorted at her comment. "I know I can't really see them that well, but I like them."

"Shut up, Bella."

"No, I do," she grumbled. "How did you block Edward from your thoughts?"

Chuckling at her question I couldn't help but answer it honestly. "The best collection of the Southern Wars volume one. Sometimes I would mess it up a little and have a combination of the best of the Southern wars volume four with the best of sex and blood play volume 2. He would soon get out my head."

"That's cruel," Bella giggled.

"It's very effective. Eddie doesn't like to see what goes off in my head when I bring them out. It was always worth living through the horrors and pleasures of war for the look on his face."

"I can imagine it's not something you wanna see," she whispered as her hand touched just underneath my arm. "How did you get them on the back of your arm?"

"Because we will bite wherever is available to us." I could hear Peter approaching us quickly. "Peter's on his way."

"He doesn't like me much does he?"

"Nope, can say you're his favourite person," I smirked out. "Looks like the only person in your corner is Charlotte."

"Aww look! Jasper's playing nice with his puppy!" Peter beamed.

"Is there a reason you're here?"

"Yep. The pet, we need to give her a new ID and a new look. She goes into town again and she is seen, FBI will turn up here looking for the girl who fits Miss Swans description." Peter sat down the other side of Bella, "Can you do tricks?"

"I'm not a dog, Peter." Anger rolled off Bella as she spoke making both me and Peter laugh.

"You're whatever I say you are, bitch." Peter poked at Bella.

"The only bitch I see around here is you, Peter." Bella shot back.

"She knows you already, Pete," I smirked out. It wasn't hard to figure out just who wore the trousers in his relationship with Charlotte.

"As I was saying..." Peter's eyes looked over to the side, seeing Charlotte heading this way. "Woman, I'm sorting it!"

"And I'm just making sure that you two don't come up with some silly name for Bella."

"What do you suggest?" Peter grumbled out, feeling let down that he didn't get to have his fun.

"Well, if she is with us, then she should take Whitlock," Charlotte said.

"No fucking way!" I yelled, jumping to my feet. "She is not taking my last name. I would sooner burn in fucking hell then let her have that."

"Jasper, calm down," Charlotte soothed.

I was anything but calm. Sure, I understood the need to give Bella a new identity and change her looks, but her taking my surname was a step to far. Underneath my anger was the shock that Charlotte had even suggested it.

"I will not calm down, she is not having it! That's final!"

"I have to agree with Charlotte on this, if Bella is with us, it would make it easier to cover her with our surname," My jaw hit the floor hearing Peter agree with Charlotte.

"What next? Anyone asks any questions we pretend she's my wife?"

"Yes."

"No, no, and fucking no!" Pacing back and forth I looked at the three of them. "The chances of anyone asking who she is, is small, and if they do then she's a friend of Charlotte's or something."

"Do I get a say in any of this?" Bella asked.

"Sort it out between the three of you, but name stays fucking out of it. I've got calls to make."

* * *

_Hmm...So, what do you think to their strange little friendship?Bella is changing..the events that have taken place have forced her to grow up some and stop being a mardy little bitch. Jasper...he's just not handling anything._

_Reviews would be great. Thank you_


	11. Chapter 11

_AN: Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I know its been a long time and I was surprised to see it pick up any reviews, so thank you so much!_

_I need to point out a few things: Its not as though Bella feels nothing for what Jasper did to them group of girls, she doesn't know. Remember, Peter told Jasper to go and clean up and to not let Bella see him like this. How can she feel anything when she doesn't know? Bella's actions are explained more in this chapter. She changed since she arrived at Peter's and you'll find out why in this chapter. Why won't she leave? Simple. Jasper has opened her eyes to her relationship with Edward and its something she doesn't want to go back to. This has been pointed out a few times in the past chapters, please pay attention! Everything that is happening has been written in the past chapters, its all there, its just a case of paying attention. _

_Jasper is very much in the dark on a lot of things, and is still coming to terms with Alice's death. There's a lot going off inside his mind that he doesn't understand, he's some what stuck at the moment and slowly sorting himself._

_Everything is written in Jasper's POV, so what Bella is thinking and figuring out isn't written out. Bella isn't the same Bella she was in Forks, and she's not like SM's Bella…I personally can't stand SM's Bella. But things will come to light, you just have to hang in there._

_If you're not liking how I'm going about this, then there's the red X top right hand corner, please use it. _

_Still no beta, so all mistakes are my own..Sorry!_

_I don't own twilight, or Jasper, but I do own a awesome pair of cowboy boots that I love and adore, as well as a Jasper new moon mug and doll._

* * *

"Will you stop?" Charlotte huffed out as we sat around the breakfast table. "I swear, Jasper, you project once more and I will hurt you."

Charlotte was pissed at me just as much as I was pissed at her. In the weeks that passed since Peter told us that Bella needed a new ID, her hair had changed colour and her name had been changed. Her new identity was sitting in the brown envelope on the table waiting to be opened. Though I didn't know what name was chosen for her, I had a good idea what is was, and that was something that pissed me off.

"No," I answered, my tone low and cold. Peter looked at me, raising his eyebrow at me in warning almost, that this was his mate I was talking too.

"Jasper?" Bella asked softly, lifting her head just a fraction to look at me. In the weeks that passed, we had spoken a handful of times. I no longer fought to keep her away from me, realising that there was just no point in it and I had just accepted it.

She would often sit near me, reading one of Peter's many books to eat up some time, while I just let my mind wonder. Our talks consisted of me telling her what "facts" in that history book was correct and which ones weren't. Every now and then she would try and make conversation with me over something else, but most of the time she kept to use just talking about history. This suited me nicely.

"What?" I groaned out, never taking my eyes off the envelope.

"I never picked it, just so you know."

"Stop trying to earn points with me, Bella." I snapped. This only confirmed what I already knew, but was secretly hoping wouldn't be seen inside that envelope. "Just open it."

Bella opened the envelope slowly and emptied its contents on the table before us. My eyes scanned the documents feeling my anger build up as I took it all in. Rising slowly from the table, I sighed deeply and looked at both Peter and Charlotte, casting my eyes back and forth.

"Which one of you did this?" I asked bringing my eyes back to the documents. "Answer me!" I demanded slamming my fist on the table.

"Jasper, calm down. That's..." Charlotte stopped seeing my face turning murderous.

"Captain, report!" I shot Peter a look and watch him take a few unneeded breaths. "That's a direct order, captain!"

"Me, sir!" Peter shouted back, obeying my command. "I picked it. I assumed that it would be best all round."

"I directly told you not to." My body shook with a burning rage that intensified with each passing second. "You not only went against my wishes, but disobeyed a direct order, captain!"

Peter opened and closed his mouth, but finding no words willing to leaving him. Charlotte had her head down, fear trickling off her as she realised that I wasn't joking or playing around when I gave that order. Her eyes flickered to her mate, worrying over him and also pissed at him for doing this and not fully realising the effect his actions would take.

"Family loyalty doesn't exist here, does it?" My voice staying low and cold as I spoke. "The human girl ranks of more importance than I do," There was no way I could hide the hurt that seeped through my voice. Inside I was broken by this final acted from my brother, how he had actually thought he could do this and I would be fine, I'll never know.

Looking over at Bella, I realised that she had taken something else from me. The bitch wasn't content with just killing my mate, but she wanted to take my family too, and it had worked.

"Well then, Isabella Whitlock, looks as if you've successfully taken everything." Not looking at anyone in the room, I walked out and headed on to the porch.

Sitting down, I tried to work out just when I had given up and let her win. It wasn't in my nature to just give up, yet this time I had done just that. In fact, everything I had done since Alice's death had been sloppy. I hadn't thought things through, or even calculated the risk of everything. My years in War had complete left me when I planned this, and I had made mistakes along the way. What was it that drove me just act and not think? I had the time to think before I kidnapped her, why hadn't I actually thought things through?

Pain and anger had fuelled me in the beginning. Alice's death and wanting my revenge had pushed me forward, but I knew better than to go all guns blazing without thinking. The one thing I had thought about was keeping the family away. Rose and Emmett were near, but they had yet to get the last piece of information from me as to where I was.

Sure, I could tell them, let them come and have Rose finish off what I started, but I didn't want her to. I wasn't sure what I wanted anymore.

"Jasper?" Bella's voice tangled in the cool breeze making me growl at her. She wasn't who I wanted to see right now. "It wasn't my idea. I didn't want it just as much as you didn't want to give it. Please believe me."

I could feel the truth and sincerity in her words. She was telling me the truth, but that didn't mean I had to believe her, did it?

"Fuck off!" I snapped out, "You've worked your fucking way in. You're like cancer, once your there you kill everything in your path." Bella flinched at my tone slightly, "Just leave me alone! You have caused me enough damage to last a lifetime."

"Jasper, I ..."

"What? You're sorry?" I spat. "What's so fucking great about you, huh? What makes you so fucking special that my brother wouldn't leave you alone or my mate had to be beat friends with you? Or better fucking still, how two fucking human drinkers have suddenly become your best friends?" Bella screwed her hands into balls as anger began to build up inside of her.

"Will you stop throwing your toys out the pram? You're not the only one who doesn't fucking like it and I'm sick and tired of you treating me like this!" Bella yelled at me making me smirk. "Alice died, I get it! I seriously fucking do, but maybe things between the two of you weren't as fucking perfect as you like to think!"

In a flash, I had Bella pinned underneath me. My face inches from her and my venom coated teeth bared. Growls rattled in my chest as she finished trash talking relationship with Alice, something I was not prepared to have.

"Don't you fucking dare!" I screamed in her face. Bella flinched slightly as I pinned her wrists down. "I'll end you now if you do."

Determination swelled in Bella as she smirked at me. "How perfect could it have been if your own mate didn't bother to tell you the truth."

"You know nothing of my relationship with Alice!"

"Don't I?" Bella screamed back at me, turning her cheeks red in anger. Her eyes were blazing with fire in them, nostrils flared with every breath she took. She looked absolutely breath taking, consumed with anger and focused on her goal. "I know more than you think! You wanna pick apart my relationship with Edward? How about I do the same to you?"

"Try it" I dared, "Come pick it-" my words were suddenly cut off my Bella's warm lips attaching themselves to me.

The heat from her lips seemed to burn me, scorching the fibres of my being and running through my veins. For a spilt second, I forgot what was going on around me. That I was mad at her and had her pinned beneath me because of my temper. Everything seemed to evaporate and fall away once her lips were on mine. I couldn't even hear anything going on around me, no rustle of tress in the breeze, no birds tweeting around me. All I could sense hear or feel was Bella.

In that spilt second, I gave in and kissed her back, feeling her hot tongue trail my cold lips. Bella moaned and shuddered almost violently as I parted my lips and slipped my tongue into hot mouth. Her tongue brushed smoothly against mine and something inside me snapped.

Alice...

Before Bella could even process it, I was off her like a shot and pacing backwards and forwards on the yard. My breath was coming out in unneeded pants, while my lips still burned from hers and her heavenly taste lingered on my tongue.

My emotions were swirling uncontrollably around me, and I knew I needed to get a hold of them, yet I couldn't. Something has shifted and I wasn't sure just what it was. This wasn't meant to happen, I hated her for what she had caused, yet somehow I had kissed her, and now I wasn't sure what to do.

Dragging my fingers through my hair, I tried in vain to centre myself and wrap my own emotions around me and regain control. Bella's were just as bad; dazed, excited, longing, lust and not one single bit of regret. Out the corner of my eye, I saw her gently touch her lips with her finger tips and smiling softly to herself.

Had she set out to do this? Was this what she wanted? It wasn't the first time she had pulled this sort of thing?

"Jasper?" Bella whispered softly, breaking me out of my thoughts. "I'm sorry." She wasn't sorry at all.

Not a single cell in her body was sorry for what had happened or what she did. She was proud of it, almost like some sort of victory over me. The triumph running off her was almost sickening as she sat and looked at me, a slight blush coloured her cheeks and I couldn't work out if it was through embarrassment or arousal. There was still a stem of lust seeping out of her, no matter how hard she tried to hide it.

What I couldn't work out with me, is why I had kissed her back? It wasn't as though I harboured feelings for Bella deep down; I had no desire to be near her like that, unless it resulted in her blood running down my throat. Was I just horny? It had been a while since them group of girls. Had I just thought fuck it as she was offering it?

"Don't lie, Bella, I can feel what you're feeling so don't try and pretend you're sorry when you're not." Bella huffed at me, and tucked a cameral strand of hair behind her ear.

Somewhere, in the weeks that all his had happened, Bella had completely lost her mind. I had spent a while trying to work out what her game was, but the answer escaped me. Now, in the light of what she's just done, I'm sure she's lost all common sense.

"Just what is the matter with you?" I questioned, seeing her flinch slightly at my tone. "Have you completely lost it? Look at how you're acting!"

"How I'm acting?" She spat, "What about you, huh? Not so much the nice guy from Forks anymore are you?"

"This isn't about me!"

"It never is, is it?" Bella screamed at me, thumping her fists in the dirt. "You blame me for everything, you've acted like a brat at times and to be perfectly fucking honest, the two people you should really be blaming is yourself and Edward."

"Oh, I do blame Edward."

"Then why am I here? As you've pointed out, if Edward has stayed away from me then none of this would have happened."

"Don't think you're not to blame in this Bella."

"You wanna know why I act this way? It's because I don't care anymore. Either way I'm dead aren't I? So why sit and cry about it."

"So this is why you back chat now? Why you've come on to me? Why you've provoked me? All because you don't care and you're dead either way?" Bella answered with a simple shrug of her shoulders. "Un-fucking-believable!"

"Jasper..." Bella sighed and stood up, walking towards me. "Can we start again?"

"No!" Snapping at her, I moved before her hand could reach me and took off inside the house.

xxxxxxx

I had avoided Bella for the remainder of the afternoon, not wanting to have anything to do with her. What happened this afternoon still plagued me, no matter how much I tried to push it away, it kept coming back.

Edward had once told Bella that our kind was easily distracted. Well, right about now that's turning into a load of shit! What she did and what she said ran around my mind over and over again, and as much as I hated to admit it, I had spent far too long thinking about that kiss.

Guilt consumed me with every unneeded breath I took. The thought of Alice stabbed through my chest every time the imagine of Bella's lips on mine flash across my memory. My wife, my mate, my life has only been dead a few months if that, and her best friend had pulled a move on me.

Time held little meaning to me, as it did to all vampires, what seemed like only yesterday was weeks ago and so forth, but this was too soon.

_It wasn't when you played blood games._

It was, and I now carried the shame and guilt of it. There was guilt for the human life I took, just as there was every time I hunted for my pray, but this one was married with shame. I felt shameful of being with them other women so soon after Alice, which was why I hunted with Peter now, instead of on my own. Shame was something I didn't want to feel, though I knew that even if I could go back in time and not sleep with them girls in some blood/ sex game, I would still carry shame for what I have done since Alice's death.

One good thing that came from today's wonderful events, was that I had grabbed hold of what was going on. I was now facing everything, and no longer throwing blame everywhere. Yes, I still blamed Bella, but I now blamed her not telling me what she knew, instead of blaming Alice's death solely on her. Edward had that now.

Bella was, as much as I hated it, right. Edward held blame, more blame than what she did at least. That pained me to admit to myself, it will pain me even more to admit it. Admitting that I was wrong was something I hated doing and having to admit this to Bella of all people was even worse.

_Alice...What am I meant to do?_

I wanted nothing more than to know the answer to my question. To be told the way to go when I saw no possible door. Bella couldn't remain here, yet she had no intension of heading back to Edward or to Forks it seems. Part of me, a small part now, would love to drop her in the middle of nowhere and leave her to her own devices, but I knew I couldn't. Bella was now my responsibility, and just dumping her somewhere would bring me more guilt.

Walking through the empty house, I reminded myself to say thank you to Charlotte for dragging Peter's ass out of here. I was, and still am, pissed at him for his action, and I will be having it out with him. This wasn't going to be forgotten about and brushed under the carpet, I will get to the bottom of his action, but for now I was happy he was just out of my sight.

Hearing Bella's heartbeat, I headed out to the back garden seeing her sitting by a camp fire reading. Walking quietly out the house, I wondered why she was out here. Sure, it wasn't cold out here, in fact it was a pleasant evening for a human to enjoy, but I still couldn't fathom why she would chose to sit out here on her own.

"I hope you didn't light that," I suddenly said making her jump and snap her head around to look at me. "I know how clumsy you are, and I doubt fire is safe for someone like you."

"Charlotte did it," She shrugged and looked back at the flames. "I wanted to sit by a fire and read."

Sitting down next to here, I sighed slightly, "It's something I used to do a lot, back in the day. Sitting around a camp fire, playing a guitar, relaxing."

"When you were in the Civil War?" Bella asked closing her book.

"Yes and before it, though the memories are a little fuzzy." Pulling my knees up, I rested my wrists on them. "Bella, I'm sorry. I picked on you when the person I should have gone after and placed all the blame on was Edward. It's just..." I trailed off slightly, giving myself a second to control my emotions. "Losing Alice ripped me apart, and I needed someone to blame. In my mind it made sense to blame you. If it wasn't for you, then none of it would have happened."

"I can see your point, you know." Bella shrugged, "That doesn't mean that what you did was okay, because it wasn't, not by a long shot. But I do understand your reasoning." Bella sighed and pulled the blanket over her legs more. "You're right in one sense, if it wasn't for me being involved with the family then that fight would have never taken place, but on the flip side, Edward holds more blame. Didn't you tell him to take care of Victoria?"

"More than once, but Edward being Edward, decided he knew best." Stretching my legs out, my eyes stayed fixed on the flames. "I've kinda not been myself, I've been someone I haven't been for a long time and even that wasn't the person I once was."

"You know, I may have hated you for dragging me to bum fuck nowhere, but I did enjoy our little talks in the car," I smiled slightly and I nodded, before she continued. "I'm not the same girl you kidnapped back in Forks. I mean, I actually kissed you!"

"You just couldn't resist me," I smirked out, "I have that effect." Bella flipped my off causing me to chuckle. "No, but in all honestly, why did you? I get the way you've acted; you just don't care, but that? I can't work out."

"You scared the crap out of me! I may no longer have cared if I lived or died, but when you were right in my face, I was staring at death. I did what I thought might calm you down enough not to kill me and it worked." She smiled, "I once read somewhere that every man has a weakness and that weakness is sex."

"Well, it shocked the shit out of me, so I guess it worked." Crossing my legs, I turned her slightly. "I'm still pissed over the name thing, by the way. I will have Peter over this."

"I'm sorry, really I am. It must feel like I've stolen from Alice." Bella looked sad and concerned, her eyes slowly starting to fill with tears.

"Don't cry!" I almost yelled at her, "I can't fucking stand it! Man the fuck up, Bella. I've seen you grow a back bone, so use it.,"

"Sorry, I miss her!" She snapped at me, making me smile.

"That's better."

"You're a little sick and twisted aren't you?" My head simply tilted in response to her question.

"Alice never took my name," I whispered out, "She couldn't remember anything from her human life and said she felt strange taking mine when she didn't belong to a family and all she knew was Alice."

"Shit...I always thought..." Bella trailed off.

"It makes no never mind, I know how she hated it. She only ever felt like she belonged to a family when we joined the Cullen's. Even then she still found it strange to have this adopted family." Bella stood up suddenly, and looked at me.

"I've got something to show you, just wait a minute, okay?" Confused, I simply nodded and waited for her to return.

My phone vibrated in my pocket for the twentieth time today. Once again Edward was calling, and right now, much like the times before it, I didn't want to talk to him. I was in no mood to deal with the whinny little baby, and I certainly wasn't interested in listening to his school yard threats.

The thought crossed my mind as to why Esme and Carlisle hadn't called. I was pretty sure that would have by now, in fact I was shocked they hadn't called me when Bella first went missing. Their family unit was ripped apart and while they allowed me to leave, they wouldn't condone what I had done. It was only a matter of time before they called, and it all focuses around Edward's heart break.

"Here," Bella suddenly returned and thrust a folded up piece of paper in my face. "Peter gave it to me when I first here."

Taking it off her, I eyed it cautiously as Bella sat down next to me. "It will explain my trust." She simply said as I carefully undid the paper.

Alice's hand writing stared back at me, and for a spilt second I forgot how to read, instead I concentrated on how her letters all joined up elegantly with one another, flowing from one word to the next so effortlessly.

_Bella!_

_I know how strange all this may seem and I can only imagine the upset you must be feeling right now. You've pulled ripped from your own little world and thrust into something that you had no choice over, but please trust me when I say this. Jasper won't hurt you! _

_Yes, he's a little more than pissed, and no doubt he's threatened your life at every given chance, but he's just spouting his mouth off. _

_I know that by now you've confessed to him that knew about my death - again I am sorry for placing such a burden on you, but I needed an out, and you were the only one that could provide it. _

_He's not a bad guy, you know this Bella, but he's hurting. Hurting far more than I can convey into words to make you understand. He's acting on his pain right now and is intent on making everyone suffer along with him. This is Jasper 1.1 on defence when hurting. He'll calm himself down at some point, and will say sorry. When he says it, he means it, but he hates admitting it and will hate me now for telling you this, but you need to know he won't hurt you, no matter what. _

_Before the fight, I had a vision of Jasper kidnapping you. It was unclear just how much of it would happen. It was foggy and showing an undecided Jasper, but I took the steps around him to ensure that if he did, then everything would be in place. I wish I could write this and say that I saw it all, the kidnapping, where he would take you and what the outcome of this would be, but I don't. I never saw it, just a fuzzy vision of him kidnapping you. _

_I knew that if he did, the only place he would run to, would be to Peter's. Ignore Peter! He's a bully and a pain in the ass at times, but that's just him. Charlotte on the other hand, is actually the better of the two. She'll actually give you a chance where as Peter will just see a play thing to bug the hell out of. _

_Look after him for me; make sure he's alright and not completely on his own all the time, please. Even if its just a few minutes, just be there, let him know you're there. It kills me to know I won't be there to help him, but then again, if I was there, he wouldn't need helping. Remind him of how much I love him, and tell him I'm sorry for all I kept from him. _

_Be happy, Bella. _

_Alice x_

Folding the letter carefully back up, I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, seeing the words on the page behind my eyelids. I wasn't sure what to do, while I ran my fingers around the letter of and over again. Part of me wanted to scream and cry tears that would never fall. I wanted to fall apart and mourn her loss all over again. Another part of me was angry at her all over again for hiding this from me, that I wanted to run into the forest and destroy everything in my path.

Handing the letter back to Bella, I muttered a soft thanks for letting me read it. I wanted to keep it, but I knew I couldn't, it wasn't mine to keep and it wasn't intent for me to read.

"Wanna talk about it?" Bella asked softly, placing her hand on my arm again.

"Not really. I just miss her."

"Me too." Bella smiled slightly and then chuckled, "I would love to go shopping with her just one more time."

"God no, that's still a nightmare I never want to repeat," I chuckled back, thankful for Bella shifting it just enough to make it light and not offensive.

"Yeah, I guess you have a point." Bella pulled her hand back and placed it in her lap. "So, what's the plan with me? I meant it when I said I didn't wanna go back."

"Fucked if I know," I answered with a shrug," At some point, Edward will find me and in turn drag you back."

"I don't want to go,"

"And you think that will stop him?" Bella narrowed her eyes at me. "I always thought you were too good for him."

"I always knew you didn't like me," Bella muttered.

"That's not correct, Bella. You've made an assumption based on what, exactly? The fact that I didn't talk to you? Or that I tried to kill on your birthday? These don't imply that I didn't like you, they simply imply that I just didn't deem you worthy of my time." The feeling that Bella had, the one that was making her think we had made some sort of friendship, suddenly disappeared and in turn making me chuckle.

"You're so easy, you know that?" I chuckled out, seeing the hurt crossing her face. "You want everyone to like you, to be your friend, it's sad really."

"You're an asshole," Bella spat angrily at me.

"I'm that and so much more, darlin'." Grinning at her, I watched her huff and fold her arms over her chest. "Bella, I wasn't allowed to talk to you, not really. Edward believed that it would be safer for you to have very little to do with me, I'm the weakest of the family, remember?"

"I don't believe that, I never have. And you resisted my blood the other day, so..." She trailed off with a slight shrug.

"True, but Eddie worried what I would say. Its not in my nature to sugar coat something just to make you feel better. Remember my story I told you? Before the battle?" Bella nodded, "Edward was far from impressed that I told you it without the sugar coating. Remember, Edward wanted to keep you locked away in this little bubble of bliss. Life isn't bliss, it never is. It was easier for me to just stay in the background like normal."

"You're not a people person are you?"

"Depends if I'm feeding or not." I winked at her, "Honestly, no, not really. Large groups of people are harder for me, too many emotions. Taking control of something is different; they're following orders, but other than that? I'll sooner stay on the side lines."

"Are you gonna make me go back?"

"No." I didn't even think about my answer before I said it. Bella seemed surprised my answer, laced with a slight bit of uncertainty. "Bella, you are your own person. I'm not babysitting you or telling you what to do. If you don't want to go back then you don't have to. If you stay, then I need to figure out just what I'm gonna do."

"I just don't want that control again," Bella sighed. "I know you don't want me around, and I'll figure something out."

"I'll not just leave you, Bella." Bella looked at me questionably, "I mean it. Its my fault you're here."

"Thanks, Jasper."


End file.
